Re: a comment on Embrace by MacFrantic	MacFrantic 172.191.43.7	13-Apr-06/7:59 PM
I could add commas, but that would ruin the form. And I'm sorry if my poem doesn't say much to you, but it wasn't written for you(I hope).
Re: Sails of Sorrow by D. $ Fontera	Dovina 70.38.78.229	13-Apr-06/4:06 PM
"I" in the chorus is the sun, but "I" in the verses is apparently the narrator. Does the sun curse the sea, or does the narrator? A good start, and could be a good poem
Re: Embrace by MacFrantic	Dovina 70.38.78.229	13-Apr-06/3:58 PM
The grammar is off in the last two lines. I think it says that all you know is love. Okay, but that's not saying much.
Re: a comment on metadata by digipoet	Dovina 70.38.78.229	13-Apr-06/2:57 PM
Or this, my favorite, but not mine. It captures the profundity of successful jumps from airplanes and other places. First time skydiving Chute works great! But below me, A helicopter.
Re: a comment on metadata by digipoet	Dovina 70.38.78.229	13-Apr-06/2:26 PM
Of all Pokémon, big and small, Pikachu, you rule them all, you do.
Re: metadata by digipoet	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	13-Apr-06/12:15 PM
Who knows, this could be the start of the next big poetry movement. You got any Pikachu haikus up your sleeve?
Re: a comment on jay by ecargo	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	13-Apr-06/12:10 PM
-or even "punctuation". Jeez, I can't spell today.
Re: jay by ecargo	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	13-Apr-06/12:08 PM
The fact that the bird does his bowing so prematurely in the poem(I mean you hardly had time to enjoy him) leads me to think this is a well disguised metaphor for those 2 minute men that women are always talking about. ;D Are you sure line 4 needs no puntuation?
Re: a comment on metadata by digipoet	digipoet 137.22.131.60	13-Apr-06/10:29 AM
It is actually metadata from a moment in time (01/01/00) - perhaps I need to make this more clear
Re: A Living Word by MacFrantic	Dovina 70.38.78.229	13-Apr-06/9:36 AM
It starts out crisp an cutting, as it should. The second verse drifts from that focused beginning, and the third more so. I really like the first verse.
Re: metadata by digipoet	Dovina 70.38.78.229	13-Apr-06/9:30 AM
"last_modified: 01/01/00"? Nothing happened in six years? You could call this "programming"
Re: jay by ecargo	Dovina 70.38.78.229	13-Apr-06/9:27 AM
They are audacious!
Re: Face of Iran by Caducus	Dovina 70.38.78.229	13-Apr-06/9:25 AM
Why "dust"? Maybe "amps" or "watts"
Re: Face of Iran by Caducus	Caducus 86.141.200.191	13-Apr-06/7:49 AM
Anyone seen Threads?
Re: a time of dynamics by Dental Panic	ecargo 167.219.88.140	13-Apr-06/6:39 AM
Fantastic in every sense of the word, DP.
Re: a comment on Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	13-Apr-06/5:36 AM
I guess if you can except that the moon talks and plays in the poem then it shouldn't be much of a leap to get to piggy back rides. It also brings out the childish quality of the poem, me thinks. If this had been about a grown up I think I wouldn't have gotten away with the metaphor, so good point. I'm thinking now about changing the ending to "Let only love and smiles remain." or something like that. Have a happy Easter this Sunday D. :)
Re: Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	Dovina 70.38.78.229	12-Apr-06/5:27 PM
I'm trying to ignore all that's been said and read it as if new. I'm trying to see the moon in the morning, consoling the sun, and forgetting about your neice. If the moon is in the east in the morning, I think it has to be a thin crescent. Maybe it can console the sun no matter where it is in the sky, or even if it has set. It holds the sun even at night, so I guess proximity is not the point. I'm trying now to see the sun riding on the moon's shoulders, and them playing together in the rain. Again an eclipse comes to mind, but you mean it symbolically, I'm sure. Without further input, I would take it as whimsey or pure fascination with nature.
Re: a comment on Genesis by Dovina	Dovina 70.38.78.229	12-Apr-06/5:12 PM
Yes, I had a different kind of battle in mind.
Re: a comment on Genesis by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	12-Apr-06/5:05 PM
How prophetic and Ironic a title you chose.
Re: a comment on Genesis by Dovina	Dovina 70.38.78.229	12-Apr-06/4:49 PM
I was thinking the same thing about your resilience during the Fort Bragg battle.