Re: a comment on This life is sheer nonsense by Prince of Void	Prince of Void 80.71.122.216	29-Mar-07/10:51 AM
Let’s portray happiness in words Let’s shape the different deeper kind of the allegory As we’re chasing a new dawn down there Upon the shore of our minds That mind holds those oceans inside Those are washing over emptiness and nothingness We left all memories behind Now we’re facing by the breeze From the ocean of a brave new world
Re: Her by Sasha	richa 81.179.219.225	28-Mar-07/1:52 PM
Pass. If you're to write about a her or a he in which nothing happens you need to come up with something pretty spectacular to keep people interested. Purple prose doesn't cut it.
Re: Hairball by jessicazee	richa 81.179.219.225	28-Mar-07/2:35 AM
I have changed my mind. Subverting the haiku is the only art.
Re: a comment on Hairball by jessicazee	richa 81.179.219.225	28-Mar-07/2:33 AM
Stop this madness! Ungodly Basho. Ungodly Onitsura. Ungodly the two images that gain magical properties when you put them together. It is spring and o look a frog. It is winter o look an old man. Ungodly the bloody Japanese they are so exotic. Ungodly the power mysterious to which every Japanese word must be calculated. Lo orient magic. Lo magnificent non-sequitur. Bloody rain cloud.
Re: a comment on Hairball by jessicazee	Dovina 75.82.86.162	27-Mar-07/2:56 PM
The meaning of 'haiku' relies on certain conditions specific to the linguistic devices of a certain culture, as you say. But why should those devices be completely inaccessible to other cultures. Granted, the old Japanese writers have something unique, but why should an English writer not try to move with the form like a non-Argentinean adapts her dance style to the Tango. The term 'haiku' is not a universally fixed referent, as you say, and can be acceptably altered in meaning outside of its natural habitat. But in calling it “haiku” the writer is trying to adapt to the original meaning in another habitat, otherwise the word has no meaning but “short poem.”
Re: Cane by richa	Dovina 75.82.86.162	27-Mar-07/2:42 PM
I thought of John Newton, an English slave ship captain for 20 years. He quit all that, sided with the abolition movement, and wrote the song of the movie's title, "Amazing Grace" When he got old and blind, he said, "I was blind, but now I see," and then asked the question, "Did I write that?" A good movie.
Re: Death Beseech You by polaroidmemory	Dan garcia-Black 66.53.213.47	27-Mar-07/10:44 AM
-7- For humor.
Re: a comment on A twisted Trail in Eden’s Garden by Dovina	Ranger 81.103.124.179	27-Mar-07/2:23 AM
Then my degree is doomed :(
Re: Death Beseech You by polaroidmemory	Ranger 81.103.124.179	27-Mar-07/2:22 AM
I never understand why people must always write about death and hate as though they are the worst things on this planet. What about indigestion, dammit? No-one ever thinks of the indigestion!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: a comment on A twisted Trail in Eden’s Garden by Dovina	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	27-Mar-07/2:21 AM
No Ranger it is not.
Re: Cane by richa	Ranger 81.103.124.179	27-Mar-07/2:21 AM
Ace, I don't get it but it's clearly not bow'ls.
Re: a comment on A twisted Trail in Eden’s Garden by Dovina	Ranger 81.103.124.179	27-Mar-07/2:19 AM
Is that not the meaning of life?
Re: a comment on Hairball by jessicazee	Ranger 81.103.124.179	27-Mar-07/2:17 AM
Consider: 1) the meaning of 'rat', being a natural kind term, is fixed across all possible worlds. Therefore, to call it 'mouse' would still necessarily entail the meaning 'rat'. 2) the meaning of 'villanelle' is set by its inherent awesomeness, to call it a sonnet would be bow'ls. 3) the meaning of 'ace poeme' is set by the patented MEDIOCRITY CHECKLISTE, to deviate from such procedure will inevitably result in a protracted spell in the corner wearing the pointy hat of shame. 4) the meaning of 'haiku' relies on certain conditions specific to the linguistic devices of a certain culture, devices which are inaccessible to other cultures. Therefore, the term 'haiku' is not an universally fixed referent and can be acceptably altered in meaning outside of its natural habitat. Besides, saying that you shouldn't call something an haiku just because it's not in Japanese is like saying FitzGerald was totally, utterly morally wrong for his version of the Rubaiyat because it was NOT HOW THE AUTHOR WROTE IT!!!!!!!!!111oneone If you were to say that, maybe, this should be a senryu rather than an haiku, then I'd listen.
Re: a comment on Hairball by jessicazee	Ranger 81.103.124.179	27-Mar-07/2:06 AM
prawne lube :-(
Re: Union-GO train-Toronto by azntsarina	richa 81.179.219.225	26-Mar-07/6:29 AM
Great clarity.
Re: Another Life by azntsarina	richa 81.179.219.225	26-Mar-07/6:27 AM
I don't think the cold water darkness simile works. You don't really breathe in darkness or cold water. Don't like how you've used 5 lines to say green red red yellow. 'And most of the time I am' doesn't appear to refer to anything. I like the bit about the fogs that occassionally descend on this city, the balance of fog. I really like the last verse too (bar the last line). There seem to be three themes here, the wandering in the fields, the past life, and the dissection fantasy. I'm not sure how they are linked though.
Re: A Post of Winter by azntsarina	richa 81.179.219.225	26-Mar-07/6:15 AM
Not keen on the whole polar storage diversion. The best parts for me are the 'for a minute I thought I was beautiful' and its relationship to the catching the boy's thoughts at Saigon house (the best part of the poem imo) and the end with let them think what they want. I think you have the crux here of an aceo poem.
Re: a comment on A twisted Trail in Eden’s Garden by Dovina	Dovina 208.127.114.45	25-Mar-07/7:53 PM
Start with a hard stress and end soft; you poetes are all alike.
Re: a comment on Hairball by jessicazee	Dovina 208.127.114.45	25-Mar-07/7:49 PM
Only very old Japanese know.
Re: a comment on Hairball by jessicazee	Dovina 208.127.114.45	25-Mar-07/7:47 PM
I don't see what's so terrible about calling a rat a mouse or a vilanelle a sonnet. Or a an ace poem a zero. But then what is language for?