it seems that you put about 2 seconds of thought into your poems. And that is not a compliment. *6*

this is pretty good

this is pretty good

this is pretty good

Love the poem!

great

Not what i expected

Shit

"Ye can not drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye can not be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the devils." A doubleminded man is unstable." I love the beginning of verse two--Revelations

Almost too direct and pointed to be called a poem. Still, you got the point accross loudly. Not bad.

Verse 2 is good because it first presumes an imortal soul, then with the word "would" casts doubt. Verse 3 is weak, for the cliche "to and fro," and for its bland wording.

…………………………………….

"beakniks" - Great.

You mean "It shudders in its own immortality." And "its" in the next line, too. "wonders" should be "wanders". And you can't wander "along" a place. You can wander along a promenade, the bank of a winding creek, or nearly anything else commonly understood as having length. A "place" does not.

I wonder if you've seen this: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=100471

Terrible, but funny.

The first verse of this poem is the most tender and nicely worded sentiment I have read in a long time. Some people on this site will say I’m just swooning to a line. Let them talk, because I believe you. I’ll give them their only satisfaction by saying that the second verse is a bit cliché, but it too is something I believe you mean. The third verse matches the first in warmth and tenderness, and the line, “even when you don’t understand” is perfect. Thank you jroday, you’ve been through a lot and come through strong.