Dovina
on Epitaph of Innocence by woodstock20000
9 Feb 2005, 2:11 PM
Nonsense! The world is not lost as you say. 0 for content, 5 for poetic form.
Why do you say, "My goal is . . ." in verse 4, giving a way out, when you don't in the others?
"perfect union" is impossible and weakens the aparently possible committments.
"them" in the last verse is a bit nebulous, and I wonder why you even include this verse.
Whats your problem Doug if you dont like my poems dont read them
Now that's reality!
For there to be a richa the lesser there must be a richa the greater and there is only one. I was only referring to D_A the lesser (the less educated one who chased off hypatia) so as not to offend you :( but as this has not worked; your face.
The reason you need quotes is because the 'allusions' are to a voice that is not that of the narrator. The same person that is saying 'Look at the Lutherans/ liberal Methodists/ tolerating beer/smoking, dancing' which I guess is your voice appears to be the person talking about ready to be spewed/ from the mouth of God.'. Another good reason for making clear your allusions is that half of them are copied word for word from the bible which is plagiarism.
Masterpiece.
Oh dear me! Clearly richa the lesser has some serious explaining to do, what eh?
Shite.
No!
I made no Bible quotes, only allusions, thus they are not in quotes. You missed completely that this is a story, not a didactic presentation of grand statements. I accept criticism when itâs honest and apt, but this is neither.
"You see, since it's not obvious to you, the cliche "one of a kind" is grosely and always wrong for obvious reasons."
Are you trumped? Yes, you are.
Don't give in so easily, richa. She's full of beans and knows it.
DOVINA: I guess you're just prejudice and don't know anything about Jesus and blah blah blah.
ZODIAC: I was raised Catholic in the Biblethumping South, went to Catholic school for 10 years, while also attending fundamentalist (and every other denomination's) youth groups, revivals and such (for the chicks, of course.) My master's thesis spends a good deal of time on Flannery O'Connor's religion. I've read the Bible cover to cover about a hundred times, including college courses as both an undergrad and grad student. I researched with the single most respected Bible scholar in North America. And I live within sight of Nazareth. So I guess you can say I've absorbed the culture pretty well.
Al-nafus (or, for Palestinians, nafish - written: اÙÙÙس) means "soul", "breath", and "self". I don't know where he got all those other sounds from, but I'm guessing, probably not Arabic.
I understand that you have become somewhat hypersensitive during your time spent on poemranker. I know you had a previous alias and am glad you came back after facing a lot of Dark_Angel the lesser's twatishness. However I think you have become too defensive to accept criticism. The bible quotes I did not pick up on, but I think that they should really have been in quotes. The criticism I make is one of didacticism, to make grand statements in poetry is not done. The poet must at least first build up her argument so that the conclusion follows on logically. Otherwise it just looks like you are hiding behind a poem to make unsubstantiated claims. If the narrator is the one making the claims such as 'watered down make believers' and 'sin makes a sham of our faith' then it is up to the narrator to elucidate. Otherwise make the narrator the one responding to them. I get no sense of the poet in this poem, the sardonic voice, to seperate her from the fundamentalism she is trying to rail against. The other criticism which is part of the first one is your lack of discipline. That you have these feelings is not enough, you must craft them, deconstruct, show. For instance that bad things happen is a decent reason for not believing in an interventionalist God, don't tell me that, I have heard it all before. Tell me something interesting, something that as a piece of intellectual enquiry is yours.
Yeah I think it takes that to really understand what I'm saying. But anyone could at least read the poem and take what he can from it. It's too bad that just because a person is from some other upringing, he takes it upon himself to downput everyone who had it poured into them from childhood and who know a lot of the Scripture from memory.
nah, the best part is "no sense in waiting for the angel or the rain"
she has two, three lines like that in every fucking poem. Some two unexpectedly combined words that just stun me, bursting in the brain with fractals of association and meaning.
And have you read this one recently? http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
SupremeDreamer, read this poem again. Do you still think it's an eight? Really? This is one of my favourite poems. Not like "one of my favourite poems from pomeranker", but like one of my Favourite Poems. It's sitting there in my mind, for the last year since I read it, with poems from Bukowski, Cummings, Rilke, etc.
Bukowski would have liked this poem.
Christ, this is a good fucking poem.
I read it a year ago, and it was still in my head...so I came looking for it. And it's still gold.