Don't you ever write something bad?-10-

very nice.

i love the narcotic...robotic (ally) bit. full marks for even thinking you could get away with it. and also the line about "emotions welling" most people would have gone on to rhyme it with "penis swelling" or summat but no...you lead us astray ther reign us back in with "she put her hands across my mouth to try and stop me yelling" genius!keep up the squiggling and squirming!!!

Wow, man! You sound like you're talking from experience! Are you a zombie?

Surely it should read "This collection OF dust".

I liked it up until the very last line.

It does sound kind of like some of Dylans writing...Somethings not quite right though...I'm not sure what it is...I'll have to think.

You've sure captured Dylan's talent for easy rhymes and bullshit "metaphorical" nonsense.

Refreshed

I was the bass player in the cramps before they traded me in for a Morgue Thinsythighser

Very well done. I have felt that same feeling, in almost the same circumstances. But not so eloquently. 10

How can she be lonely with all these emotional chickens about?

Good, I don't suppose the angel felt the attraction eh? Maybe if she'd needed to pack in to the mountains, you know - he could carry her celestial food.

My new favorite. Ten does not begin. I especially like the scroll of life. If you are speaking to God, then your and thee should be capitalized. Fantastic writing.

I tried to wright a pome when i was pissed as well.

I guess my life isn't that boring then.

first two lines said it all then it got better 8/10

They walked as if robotic? seems to fit better.

yes 10 from me to!

i agree