It's an old truism, but if punctuality is a virtue then tardiness is an aganram of t-sardines :(

I'm still laughing about the name lintyweenis! ok ok sorry. Happiness is a warm something. thats it.

5 five thats it

Look up: On concerning loving onesself by D-G-B. enjoy.

Yes, this is how a politician would do a poem. With hollow words, but lots of them.

Title is great; wish you'd done more with it. Leave out "It is".

I feel really sad you got no response on this other than mine. I have an ace response in mind, waiting for time and inclination.

This is really good. I'm with you all the way. The start of verse 3 is weak.

Yeah, great. A pity it isn't poetry.

It's like you said yourself Intransit: just some junk. There is hardly a story, while it suggests there is one, and what there is, is badly told. There is so much more to be made out of this.

I wasn't sure what to do with the title. I wrote it about her, so I saw it fitting. Thanks for the tips :)

Because Beta usually follows alpha or precedes -max, I have problem here. If it is an actual name for fact keeping purposes, then ignore this. When you said navel I thought she might be pregnant which would have worked as well but I didn't write it and there's nothing wrong with your choice. If I was female, I'd be wrung. Metrics all the way.

I think it's poetry. Like the way the spin-wringer resonates through the stanzas. Doctrines and doctrines.

you poor thing. I like your economy.

'depilated' doesn't fit. I like it.

You are not serious! This is more laundry list than anything...

Very enjoyable.

There is not enough character given to your oil pump.

Funny. This view on insecurity is narrated in a too self-assured tone...

In fits and starts rather humorous. << it is a dog’s life and we are the husbands the wives ... s'better to remain a-doggal not suffer to be their slaves >> These do not quite work.