Re: True Love by lil_evil_boi	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	4-Jun-05/4:20 AM
<< The love that is true, priceless and pure >> Now this is a nice subject for a poem. Why didn't you?
Re: lawngazing by skaskowski	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	4-Jun-05/4:22 AM
Good last stanza
Re: Snow by lil_evil_boi	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	4-Jun-05/4:45 AM
'fuffy white' 'cold and frosty night' 'snowflakes' 'white layer' 'soft flakes' 'freshly fallen snow' 'frozen sky' Now let me guess...it's about WINTERTIME and SNOW? Yes, isn't it outragous that good poetry is so rare. Thank god for geniusses like lil_evil and hawaii_luver.
Re: Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.72	4-Jun-05/6:39 AM
last line typo.
Re: lawngazing by skaskowski	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.72	4-Jun-05/6:42 AM
I saw the broken bottles and mirror as stars. So I went down the romance path and then the skull stopped my treading.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 212.118.19.246	4-Jun-05/6:49 AM
Oddly, there is in fact a boy at the special education center where I work who calls me "Mom". -10-
Re: lawngazing by skaskowski	zodiac 212.118.19.246	4-Jun-05/6:50 AM
How were the bottles busted on a blanket? Not that it matters, I'm just curious.
Re: Carte Blanche by ALChemy	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	4-Jun-05/7:18 AM
I used "schizophrenic" because people look like there talking to themselves and when one rings like 5 different people try to answer thier phones.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	4-Jun-05/7:44 AM
You teased me with a promise of rhyme and left no reason. The artist seems to be mechanical. I do like where your going with it. It just sounds like a piece of a larger poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	shrutikay 219.65.89.53	4-Jun-05/7:54 AM
i like it..ya..but u cud cut down on the colors..u ve mentioned..neways...overall..does well 4 a 6
regarding some deleted poem...	shrutikay 219.65.89.53	4-Jun-05/8:02 AM
nice poem
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	4-Jun-05/8:13 AM
If this is about the death of a newborn then please change line 3. If not then tell me to go F@&* myself.
Re: A Fool's Errand by ALChemy	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	4-Jun-05/8:29 AM
bleed their wrists seems cliche. the rest is true.
Re: Carte Blanche by ALChemy	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	4-Jun-05/8:31 AM
Love this. My -Bookends- may interest you.
Re: Vote Goats by ALChemy	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	4-Jun-05/8:32 AM
Unforunately, we've already been here. Save your breath for your writing.
Re: The world's shortest poem by ALChemy	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	4-Jun-05/8:34 AM
By Grapthars' Hammer.....I don't know.
Re: Bunnies crazy inlove by kev_wannabe	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	4-Jun-05/8:38 AM
This is either a brilliant piece of sarcasm or a chocolate covered turd.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	4-Jun-05/8:43 AM
Heather, the best advice i can give you at this point is: you live in a capital state for music. Absorb as much as you can, and, Pick up a copy of -Poetry for Dummies- (I'm not kidding, I have a copy myself), Realize that good poetry takes time and a lot of it. And finally, Write until you buttocks shrink to the size of your heels. Good luck.
Re: Soldier by kev_wannabe	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	4-Jun-05/8:48 AM
You mean "evil that lurks (in) this place"? Unpeacefulness? I'm all in for inventing words but this is too direct a poem for taking such liberties. I like the no BS approach though.
Re: Bookends by INTRANSIT	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	4-Jun-05/9:00 AM
That was really fun. A completely new format. quite refreshing. The alliterations make everything flow so the reader can just glide along this witty little ride you've constructed.