| Re: My Reason For Love by Miggy |
LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.135 |
11-Jul-05/9:32 AM |
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just...Just...this song was Just too full of Justs...I believe this is called a "pimple" poem, or lyric, as it were...juvenile piece that may apeal to those around 14 years of age...good luck with your writing...keep trying!
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| Re: angst by nentwined |
LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.135 |
11-Jul-05/9:34 AM |
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WOO-WOOO-HOOOOO!!!! *CLAP* CLAP..CLAP..CLAP!!!!! bRAVO..BRAVO...TAKE A BOW!...(flings her red panties to the man in black attire...since they match the blood he's spewing!)I said I'd never give a ten...I lied...You got one!
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| Re: Sleep does my eyes by nentwined |
LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.135 |
11-Jul-05/9:37 AM |
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Sounds like some lyrics I have read...They make good money...Could fly...yeah...sure...would like to here the music to it, though...
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 147.154.235.51 |
11-Jul-05/10:44 AM |
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Well metered, and I like the Idea of it.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99 |
11-Jul-05/11:13 AM |
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Has it escaped your attention that nobody likes puns?
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| Re: Flies in the ointment. by darby pyn |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
11-Jul-05/11:27 AM |
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discarded plankton? What's that, and how is it related to a well? Her head held low in the ointment follows the title, but the rest of the images don't seem to work.
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| Re: Almost Persuaded by Dovina |
Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99 |
11-Jul-05/11:28 AM |
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Good rhymes. Not wild about the poem itself, but I'll give you a 6 for that.
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| Re: When my place is placeless by Prince of Void |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
11-Jul-05/11:30 AM |
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The first two lines get off to an irritating start because they imply a connection that is not there or not developed. You have not started from where the reader is.
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| Re: A World At War by Damien |
Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99 |
11-Jul-05/11:32 AM |
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If you're going to write about something like this...and be as graphic as you have, for God sakes, man, don't rhyme.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
11-Jul-05/11:36 AM |
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Most of these lines are good poetic phrases, but they seem too unrelated and fail to connect smoothly to an overall theme.
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| Re: JUST A FEW by rbooey |
Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99 |
11-Jul-05/11:37 AM |
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Please refer to my reply to your comment on the suggestions page for my reason for giving this a 0.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99 |
11-Jul-05/11:38 AM |
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You're one of the few people here that actually seem to be learning how to write.
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| Re: Slice Open My Body by TLRufener |
Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99 |
11-Jul-05/11:39 AM |
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boo. You can and have done better.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
11-Jul-05/11:39 AM |
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Symmetry about the middle is a novel idea, but I fail to see how it all makes sense.
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| Re: Endurance by Dovina |
Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99 |
11-Jul-05/11:40 AM |
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I kind of like this...despite what the general consensus seems to be..gotta go with my gut..
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| Re: a.m. by oneglove |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
11-Jul-05/11:41 AM |
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Are you that afraid of dreams? My father was.
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| Re: Flies in the ointment. by darby pyn |
Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99 |
11-Jul-05/11:43 AM |
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I'm confused as hell on this one.
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| Re: When my place is placeless by Prince of Void |
Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99 |
11-Jul-05/11:44 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99 |
11-Jul-05/11:46 AM |
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You need to be able to connect all this a little better. It sounds good, but a lot of it feels like it's just jumping from place to place.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99 |
11-Jul-05/11:47 AM |
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