Re: The Innocence of a Child by Tainted Butterfly	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	11-Sep-05/6:34 PM
The simplicity, sweetness and flow of this poem actually works for the subject. Good ear but try approaching subjects from unexpected angles.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	11-Sep-05/6:54 PM
I don't like the look of numbering such short stanzas. Good title.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	11-Sep-05/6:54 PM
I don't like the look of numbering such short stanzas. Good title.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	11-Sep-05/6:58 PM
Reads like punk rock. I was really hoping I'd click on the title and only a blank page would come up. That would have got a 10 from me.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	11-Sep-05/7:12 PM
Also ironic: if I hadn't came in your mum I would have never had the opportunity to read this poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	11-Sep-05/7:13 PM
Good twist on the Yo Mama dis.
Re: Moving Out by jessicazee	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	11-Sep-05/7:21 PM
I'll give you an 8 because you can spell vacuum which is more than at least two other poets can do.
Re: Be Free Ye by D. $ Fontera	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	11-Sep-05/7:35 PM
If Dr. Suess wrote a minstrel version of a Shakespearean play during a coke binge.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	11-Sep-05/8:32 PM
Meter needs work in the middle lines. Line 2 contradicts line 1. Has potential.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	11-Sep-05/8:44 PM
Weird science.
Re: Smiling by Jill Stockinger	Heather Dee 4.178.123.141	11-Sep-05/8:51 PM
Very nice work, it flows rather smoothly
Re: Lullaby by Goad	Heather Dee 4.178.123.141	11-Sep-05/8:56 PM
Strange, but I like it
Re: (e0)(af)(87e0) by nentwined	Heather Dee 4.178.123.141	11-Sep-05/8:58 PM
This is for the ignorant
regarding some deleted poem...	nentwined 68.232.253.122	11-Sep-05/9:05 PM
The rhyming implies a "standard english composition" sort of poem, but the lines don't follow any sort of rhythm; it's a very jarring read. What sort of sane are there besides those 'mentally' sane? week -> weak. "dive" feels like you were really struggling on an end rhyme. Meanwhile, poems that try to do AABB are generally far less appreciated than others--they're a much harder form to pull off with any sort of respectable poem than something that's a bit freer.
Re: This rage by Heather Dee	nentwined 68.232.253.122	11-Sep-05/9:08 PM
threw -> through why a comma in "free, of"? I wish I had some constructive suggestions for you, but I'm coming off a caffeine jag. It gets better in time, but I don't know how. I'm just not finding a flow, the words come across as melodramatic and not quite connected, and the situation is a bit too... generalized for me to feel any connection.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	12-Sep-05/3:25 PM
10
Re: Tall Windows by tianyi	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	12-Sep-05/3:28 PM
Nice snapshot.
Re: knowledge building on knowledge by nentwined	Tintagiles 142.166.233.153	12-Sep-05/7:09 PM
Nice. I'm not sure about the title being one of the three lines, but hey...
Re: on the edge of creation by nentwined	Tintagiles 142.166.233.153	12-Sep-05/7:11 PM
I really rather like this. Though the "(how did they get to my mountain)" I'm not sure about. Maybe break it into another line or something -- the rhythm seems off because that one line's so long.
Re: Tall Windows by tianyi	Tintagiles 142.166.233.153	12-Sep-05/7:13 PM
Why the comma after "where"? I'm presuming that the last line is the direct continuation of the first, in which case it might be a thought to add a stanza break between the first and second lines.