poemranker ::Tall Windows by tianyi

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Free verse № 130955

Tall Windows

by tianyi

Member since 2005 · Posted 12 Sep 2005 · 3 comments

He remembers A boy cross-legged on the carpet In the beige of an overexposed photo Where, streams of light like a cathedral bright face into the drifting dust And tries to breathe it in.

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mean 5.33 weighted 5.04 rank 7127 views 151 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

3 comments

[n/a] ALChemy 12-Sep-05/3:28 PM Reply
Nice snapshot.
[8] Tintagiles 12-Sep-05/7:13 PM Reply
Why the comma after "where"? I'm presuming that the last line is the direct continuation of the first, in which case it might be a thought to add a stanza break between the first and second lines.
[n/a] tianyi › Tintagiles 13-Sep-05/2:48 AM Reply
I just added the comma without thinking to hard about it.