Your use of fragmented sentences is obtuse. "an eye" Unless your making some obscure reference to the movie A.I. which I doubt.

verbal diarrhoea (or diarrhea to us blue collar folk) and Rainman may be things atributed to some of your other poems but not this one. Good job.

Are you man or woman? Because I've never heard of women being drafted but on the other hand you wear a skirt. Maybe your just Scottish.

yeah the spelling and grammer is a big problem, it's distracting from the rest of the poem, which is alright.

By "poetry of imagery", you can't possibly mean your poetry.

Line 4 seems there only for the rhyme. Just wrap YOUR arms all around me. But I like the sentiment and the subtle implications. With thr right tune, it'd make a good song.

The "!" after "happy" sounds kinda crazy. Since when can't ghosts talk? Usually they aren't heard but...

Holy cow! I hope you don't have halitosis when someone has to hear you read this to him or her.

Nice stab at Poe like verse but the poem goes absolutely nowhere. "Caverns of creatures crawl". One too many on the alliteration. You can get away with that more with softer sounding vowels, as in "While I wondered weak and weary". Harder sounding vowels will start to sound like tounge twisters. Good job staying true with the meter.

I think we all get it. Your recycling words. Now shut up already. I'm guessing you read Poe so read his essays on composition in poetry. He'll tell you to make your point quickly and not to waste the readers time. If you write something this long it should at least tell a somewhat coherent and interesting story. You took a nice stab at it though. Actually 126 stabs.

I see the idea now but when I first read it, it sounded like an amateur magician.

That's the thing about self-love, isn't it? It's hard to find an audience as interested as you are.

Q: Did you know that "The End" is infamously the name of the Doors' awful Apocalypse Now theme-song? Christ, maybe I AM old. Or educated.

Ha.

Can't trust that day. On a related note, I just watched that movie Elephant last night. Now that's some fucked up shit.

Everything except the semicolon is great. Nice one.

Whaddup, LA.

I feel hesitant in criticising a superb limerick which I added to my favorites list, but I think the meter is slightly off on the first two lines: how about, Love might be served à la carte, Take just what you want, part by part I wanted to give her My bladder or liver But she only wanted my heart.

Urg, way too cliched, way too kitschy, it reads like drinking a large cup of syrup. Sorry.

Wow. Too much alliteration, Demonik, it sorta rings like a tongue twister. 'Repressing, renouncing, rewriting religion' can pass, I think, but 'Guiling governments guilty of gluttony and greed' is definitely overdoing it. The last line is better... maybe the poem should be entitled 'The Puppetmaster'?