regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 207.192.198.130	12-Nov-05/4:02 PM
cutting.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 207.192.198.130	12-Nov-05/4:08 PM
stop. and begin again. no but thre's plenty to use here. First things first. Be more sure of what you are saying. no maybes.
Re: The Hawk by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	12-Nov-05/4:19 PM
Man's greatest folly is that he's forgot how to think beyond language.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 207.192.198.130	12-Nov-05/4:55 PM
The -dying dryly in my mouth- makes me think of eating leaves. Something I have not done since I was a youth. And I did not like it then.
Re: Us Sinners by BrandonW	zodiac 212.118.19.208	13-Nov-05/12:55 AM
Question: Could a God who by most accounts is all things, including all-forgiving, really allow a soul to go to Hell for eternity?
Re: not to settle for less than almost obliteration by ay deee	zodiac 212.118.19.208	13-Nov-05/12:55 AM
"consumptive" is a great word, but probably not what you meant.
Re: Farm animals by INTRANSIT	zodiac 212.118.19.208	13-Nov-05/12:56 AM
I liked the butcher block better, and thought it was sensible enough. This is okay, though, if it satisfies everyone else.
Re: Close To The Beginning by RawPunkGirl	Blindpoetry 70.172.225.193	13-Nov-05/3:04 PM
I find it very odd that I see you on multiple websites. And i'm not even a stalker. On another note: Line 3: I think that 'Being dressed in my best...' should be changed. Keep the idea, but change the wording so it doesn't rhyme. Because it sounds horrible. overall, though, I thought it was ok.
Re: Abba by oneglove	Blindpoetry 70.172.225.193	13-Nov-05/3:08 PM
Line 6: 'Withstand the beat of time' seemed out of place to me... Could you explain how this ends the first stanza?
Re: Abba by oneglove	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/9:12 PM
Nice stuff.
Re: Close To The Beginning by RawPunkGirl	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/9:17 PM
Fro the 1st stanza of Billy Collins' "Nightclub": You are so beautiful and I am a fool to be in love with you is a theme that keeps coming up in songs and poems. There seems to be no room for variation. I have never heard anyone sing I am so beautiful and you are a fool to be in love with me, even though this notion has surely crossed the minds of women and men alike. You are so beautiful, too bad you are a fool is another one you don't hear. Or, you are a fool to consider me beautiful. That one you will never hear, guaranteed.
Re: Us Sinners by BrandonW	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/9:22 PM
You know where you are? You're in the Jungle, baby. You're gonna diiiieya. Haiku by Axl Rose
Re: Abba by oneglove	zodiac 217.144.7.195	14-Nov-05/3:53 AM
As if you needed proof of God's existence, the first initials of the band members in ABBA (Abagail, Brian, Bjorn, and Agatha) actually spell ABBA.
Re: The Hawk by Dovina	cyan9 217.40.63.105	14-Nov-05/5:39 AM
Great imagery in the 3rd stanza, otherwise, I found it difficult to follow, breaking from rhyme quite often without needing to.
Re: Headlines by Dovina	cyan9 217.40.63.105	14-Nov-05/5:44 AM
Nice Concept
regarding some deleted poem...	cyan9 217.40.63.105	14-Nov-05/5:47 AM
Autumnal and inviting, would of given it a 10 apart from the use of the word cunning at the beggining (if appeared as if you were trying to be clever (whether you were or not))
Re: Bread and blackthorns by Caducus	zodiac 217.144.7.195	14-Nov-05/9:55 AM
"Imprisoned from my ribs"? I'm sure you have an explanation why you used "from" rather than "in" or "by". I'll save you the trouble. It doesn't work.
Re: Bread and blackthorns by Caducus	Dovina 69.175.32.104	14-Nov-05/12:31 PM
A Right Brain cannot get this I know, but reading your poems quickens the synapses, releasing the fluids, like squeezing blood out of silicone. Never change your style, only grammar sometimes and maybe the occasional hint of logic.
Re: not to settle for less than almost obliteration by ay deee	Dovina 69.175.32.104	14-Nov-05/12:45 PM
The last line seems anti-theme. Being consumed and pushing don't quite go together.
Re: Us Sinners by BrandonW	Dovina 69.175.32.104	14-Nov-05/5:03 PM
Clever, really, the various ways it lands when spun.