Nice!

Car crash as an orchestra? This is fucking awesome! The only thing that even slightly grated was 'quaintly', but let's face it - this is too good for being pedantic. Lines 9 to 11 are incredible (I think 'staff' should be 'stave', but I assume the former is the American spelling.) Killer ending too!

Yes, yes, yes...needs fine tuning (oh dear I didn't even realise how bad a pun that was until after I said it...) but this could be on its way to greatness.

Last four lines I liked.

Love the idea of the piano as a devouring monster, but I wish it weren't so explicit--i.e., the title and the reference to Yamaha.

Nice--I really like the time jumping, the details: the "dirty hands and surety" and the "cluttered heaven of then."

"where thousand of perilous burns," --Perilous what? Wheres the fucking noun man? "to refrain from that fatal burns." --Trying to sound fancy & sophisticated? 'That' is singular, 'burns' being plural... wouldn't it have been more intelligent to say 'those'? Oh, yes, don't forget that the missing noun in the beginning confuses it all, unless you intended it as a noun there too- which still makes little sense. "That they are right as a trivet" --What the fuck? Did you disconnect your brain from your fingers when typing up this shit? "alas happened to be the dweller of that land." --Now this is plain cheesy and fucking gay. I won't bother continuing, other than to add that using 'Envisage' was idiotic, thesaurophilic, & silly. Your views on Iraq are cliched, and frankly I don't give a shit. Zero.

Groovy. Last two stanzas are my favorite part, not to say that the others weren't cool, [great use of metaphor] but the last two nailed it all in for me. Ten.

Oh! The nostalgia. Written well, but doesn't really tickle my fancy man... sorry. Anyways, here's a seven.

Some good thoughts here, but they seem forced into a haiku-mold.

Cool. Find a title--it deserves one.

You need a more satisfying ending. The rest of it I really liked.

I actually read this out loud to myself; it helped complete a very vivid and beautifully tangible poem. Reminded me I haven't been to the sea in a while... Had to google 'scoters', though, being myself painfully ignorant.

Start by taking out all the unecessaries. The -but, the- ands etc. you're really on to something here. I like it. 8.5 though an easy ten. working my way home. Can't wait to get back to "normal". It's been a bad run this time out. Thanks to all for "holding down the fort".

Sounds like your preaching to me, I hate lectures. And I don't fancy looking up every other word you write in the dictionary, I'm a simple man and big word don't impress me.

Sounds like me and my relationship with methamphetamines... rotten teeth 'n payin for my piper. Then again, perhaps my ability to relate to/comprehend your poem is miserably crippled. Six.

Ocean water moves more with its deep currents than with the wind. Perhaps you mean that the apparent movement of waves is with the wind.

pretty interesting. i think the allegory could be pushed a bit more, with all the references to scales, much they way you "played" on the teeth (double entendre intended). overall, sounds like a traumatic experience....

i like this, but i'm going to engage in some semantics here: the ocean doesn't bring life to anyone/anything. in fact, it doesn't bring. life exists because of the ocean's properties, but a fair amount of death happens because of the ocean, also. i like the ocean. i like what you have written. i guess i just see the ocean as a formidable force of nature that can cut in both directions. this haiku shows only one edge of the blade.

Very cool! I agree re: the "quaintly fine"--doesn't seem to fit the rest, but overall really fun, even the punchline ending.