This made me laugh. That is a good thing.

In the eyes of the world we're already standing at precipice of defeat.

Such words as these, Were designed to please, Those who suffer, From homosexual disease.

Yes, the last line is bit of a letdown. Best, I think, to conclude this nicely descriptive piece with something like "brushed with finely toxic salt" You can probably think of something better.

This is great - controlled, wry, well-paced, dispassionate but bursting with sadness. Lovely lovely stuff.

The problems with this could all be sorted out by substituting the word 'ISRAEL' with the word 'NEWPORT PAGNELL'.

Who do we admit defeat to. The other side resembles the volcano God. We placate it by being sufficiently beastly to the Jewish people and crossing our fingers that it will not erupt. We can't actually talk to it. And what is this technology? Is it a humane way of wasting people? The free range chicken method of genocide. We can only hope.

Acne is no excuse for poor poetry.

Woah, you really have neo conservatists pinned here, asshat.

This is interesting perception of a unamed poets ego, self assured in the knowledge that his work is the best or so he thinks and how everyone admires his work. Thankfully this kind of poet is in the minority, while the rest of us are very to take on board other peoples comments when they are refering to the poem and suggestions to improve that work. Whilst the negative results usually are greeted with a rebuffal! I enjoyed this piece very much and enjoy poking fun at ego especially as a poet!

As someone who is new to this site it is good to see a poem that is in a different style from what appears to be the favoured Free style. Many years ago i visited a working loom, albeit a preserved one but a very interesting experience. The clouds of cotton dust that choked you as you walked around, the noise of the machine the complex simplicity of the machine and the flying wheels cogs and loom that ended in this beautiful creation of silk at the far end, all of which you have captured in this ode, which is a creative piece on a part of most countries history, but certainly from my own country england the social history involved with these machines created a new way of thinking and reaction that led to many social changes that are still relevant today. Very enjoyable piece that i will read again and again.

I quite like the bit about the wood beetle. I don't really understand what you're driving at though.

Wordy, prosey, prolix. Reduce in lenghth by at least a half and try to put some music into your lines.

The de-baathification, forcing their armed forces to go underground, was an incredibly stupid move - you really think them with the math can heal that kind of stupidity? Use a guy like Rumsfeld as guinea pig, see what happens.

This doesn't make much sense. The first verse sounds very poetic and all but what does it mean. The bit about words walking, flying, buried under pine trees again how is that true. None of it tracks.

I don't know about the last line. Bathetic is I think the word for it.

Practically funny.

I have a word for you "dunce".

The hand job.

I love how, overall, your position bobs as perfectly still as a cut and clear turd in a tsunami. So what you're saying is if we win we'd be right, and if we lose we can still say "I'm sorry, how's about a hug abdhula", and still be sort of okay sort of like maybe. okay in forgiveness, and just, well chatting about our issues. Like for one: America is babylon, the new atlantis, so you fucking rags and negroes, and wild eyed gooks have best understand, we will get your trees, your oil, your jewels and the little girls, so play ball ball, or possibly die, or be hugged.