some deleted user
on some deleted poem
16 Nov 2003, 10:34 AM
Beautifully put--I think that I may have been there a few times as well...
Makes a very good Valentine card.
Topic-10. Rhythm-4. Poetic beauty-3. 5.5 Rounding up.
this is the tops. what a briliant mind so sereal
love this one to keep up the good work
kikk lobb tit pppppnurst
got to be number 1
If i havn't suggested it already, Poetry for dummies is an excellent tool. not that what you've written is bad, more tools will make it better.
very funny you hooven hooker you. it's good to be hooven. people like hooven animals. as opposed to hoover ones. Ha!
A great read.
This feels like a transitional piece for you; something between one style and another.
Stanza 3 is a joy.
There are a couple bumps that when smoothed will make this thing much better. "in to" - "toward"
"You desire" might be "what you desire", or "you're desire"
"drink my" - "drink of my" maybe
I like that last stanza too - I have a slightly raised eyebrow for "incessant" though... sounds too much like incest.
have an -8-
Good stuff.
-8-
christ!
One is never alone when one has the asses support of the smootheby bra. Let's see, how can I sum up this poem in a word? DRAMATIC.
Sex has always rather bored me. Probably, because it's my profession. This does however read well out loud, and that's big tails on my little beasts. 8
wat the hells going on did the worst list and best list get switched?>
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