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The Poemranker Poe-lease (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
For thirteen cents and a pint of lotion Rockmage will donn his ass mask & his devotion And gallop all about the baby blue ranker With no teeth and a shirt that says "I'm no Wanker". He'll kiss your ass and shine your lap snorkel With reversing opinions on everything (Kitsch) But rest assured he got the okay from LT. Porkel (That uninteresting oversexed bitch) He told me he loved me, and so did she. But I'm not one to return calls. And now they're both mad, and hatin' on me. (Come on Dawgs I'm a beggin' p'ease?) For not showing them my porcelain balls And tagging on their swiney stalls And my sweat poor poems have been pummeled and spanked to the floor. And when all's said and done, I'll wear the nigger'd wings of Yor! And a G-string that part times as an editor at NFG magazine. A place where the poets all smear vasoline upon their Latin(a) trampolines that they rented from an old lady with favre beans and a fat fucking cow that could milk itself a Tribunal. Weekend poets! They rock and roll. In small ellipses, they know it all. Just read their poetry, and you will see Every cliche under hot sun and calm sea, but what the fuck, it's never mattered. and now my life's work has been scattered. And battered like a housewife named Beth who's husband is Southern, and High on Meth. All nude, and shivering, I beg for sardines. Burned at the steak, sauced by the ranker Poe-lease. So learn from me children because you too they will ask. To rank their poems 10's! And earn your ass mask. Thank you that is all, Vote Christian, vote true, just don't let what they did to me happen to you. Conform, and submit your poetry today! God will love you more, and you will say. "Poemranker is a place where even the worst poets can get their fifteen minutes of Spammy." Oh Mammy, Mammy, Mammy... Thank you, vote for Nentwined, he' a great poet, and we should appreciate being here, I do, and so should you, now let's give it up. Come on that means you too! Stand up, and pat yourselves on the back! You weekend poets, you part time artists. Treat yourselves! By a fucking chipped mug and hat from the alms shop today! Support your local gun fighters. Has anyone seen my assorted party lighters? They come with edible gasoline and a bag of dead tupperware for all nighters.

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
10  .. 60
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.2727275
Weighted score: 5.6363635
Overall Rank: 2171
Posted: November 15, 2003 2:11 PM PST; Last modified: November 16, 2003 12:55 PM PST
View voting details
[0] Shuushin @ | 15-Nov-03/3:21 PM | Reply
oh christ, not more.

Can't you write about anything else other than how you've been wronged by the nefarious poemranker characters?


[10] SupremeDreamer @ > Shuushin | 15-Nov-03/3:33 PM | Reply
well, no- he really must hammer his point into peoples skulls, 900 zeros? can you seriously not understand his distress?

the poem? it was funny- sarcasm and mock adherence to conformity, etc. 10!!!

I also support abortion and suicide clinics. Among other things. Im evil. Or thats what I've been told.
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ > Shuushin | 15-Nov-03/6:13 PM | Reply
It's a comedy idiot. That's what comedy does. It poks fun at me too, and the entire incident. Don't be such a prick, prick. You're certainly not above getting 900 zeros yourself, are you?
[10] INTRANSIT @ | 16-Nov-03/1:12 PM | Reply
very funny you hooven hooker you. it's good to be hooven. people like hooven animals. as opposed to hoover ones. Ha!
[10] ShaNoN+960317485 @ | 16-Nov-03/8:46 PM | Reply
[n/a] scitz @ | 17-Nov-03/4:46 AM | Reply
I am aware of your plight and have made a suggestion in bah bah bah....the suggestions box, have a read and visit this site (all this and more in my suggestion).

The old school on poemranker know you have talent so chill out my friend and do get down on yourself.
[10] INTRANSIT @ > scitz | 17-Nov-03/7:16 AM | Reply
don't you mean: get down WIT yo' bad self?
[8] edpeterson @ | 12-Apr-04/10:19 AM | Reply
funny, but i have not been here long enough to know what the fuck you are talking about. go down on your bad self.
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