some deleted user
on some deleted poem
29 Nov 2003, 4:37 PM
Deeply stupid per usual.
It never hurts to smile, try it.
heh - funny - but "mouthful of pee"? blech.
deft weaving of rythm and rhyme; have a nine.
-9-
If mother is the the Earth - Who is the Father?? Dont tell me they are the same:o)
We dont need an Antichrist to bring any apocalyptic end â we have our own Leaders to do the Job better then him
You are an odd bird.
Fascinating. Am intrigued. Hesitate to call favourite, since i seem to acquire a new one all the time, but would like to know more of this: recent? And what are the spiders?
Well, reminds me of my mother.. drunk and attempting to knife my father.
Blessed with eight.
good insanity in a big bang:o)
been reading up on u, have 2 say u know more than u let us read. Like you style - just wondering if ever wud decide to fiddle a different tune ( not that am complaining) but just asking ennu:o)
:o)
The preceding dashes on each last line are used to indicate italics.
Cute.
""He gripped her thigh, and death smiled."
"The bus will give you a hard-on with books in your lap"
"I'm sick of these stinky boots, I'll never wake up in a good mood again".
Jim Morisson.
I like it lots - but I struggle for meaning - a sexual encounter?
This thing you do with the line spaces and break... works. A pleasant, inviting cadence.
-9-
I have the same sentiment as IT, but I've written this kind of thing too; tried to capture that - that thing there.
it rings true, but its a familar, nearly 'given' sound.
-8-
kudos... seemed to have some sort of meter, almost. good composition and nice work on the structure ... I liked the lip biting kiss comment
only one other has said so-...began unintentionally, I thought IT deterred, but...ffffffffffff. YES- sex, you are a smart feller. I enjoy the bulk of your werk.
good job. keep it up champ.
Vanity at it's peak and yet far from the truth that you need.