Re: Consider the Grass by Dovina	lmp 141.154.134.3	2-Jul-07/9:23 AM
i do like the rhythm that (it appears) you have tweaked. whatever, it works well with the theme. i hear the wind on this prairie, the soft subtle moaning through the blades as they rustle, bending and sweeping their neighbors. i also like the slow outward zoom, if you will, going from micro to macro, although if this was intentional, there are a few places where it breaks the progression: s3 & s5 zoom much further out. something about the last stanza is uncomfortable. i guess putting yourself into the piece brings the image of the expanse of the prairie to bear, but doesn't sit well with me. much in the same way that some tlevision commercials will lead in with some awe-inspiring imagery, only to ruin the effect by presenting their product. but that is personal preference... still, a great piece. thanks.
Re: Consider the Grass by Dovina	some deleted user 64.140.228.142	2-Jul-07/1:20 PM
The images here are very good Dovina. You have taken something simple and ordinary, something most of us take for granted, and raised it to the extraordinary--great insight and a great write.
Re: The Other Cancer by lexxie100	some deleted user 64.140.228.142	2-Jul-07/1:37 PM
Typos line 3, stanzas 13 and 14. I think if you shortened this, compacted the abuses you describe, it would have more impact. Still a decent write though.
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 86.131.62.243	3-Jul-07/2:24 AM
It appears that you have -=Dark_Angel=- chained to a potty in the Outhouse. I demand his return, unharmed and freshly wiped - or by gad the FBI will hear about this.
Re: The Other Cancer by lexxie100	Ranger 86.131.62.243	3-Jul-07/2:30 AM
This is very good in many places, but when you force the rhymes it loses some of its intensity. If you want to rhyme (I love rhymed poetry) then try using a rhyming dictionary - there are plenty of good ones online - for greater variety. Throwing in some unobvious rhymes here and there usually works well, but the most important thing is to remember that rhyme is a rhythmic device, and should be subtle rather than forced. I hope this isn't from your own experience.
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 86.131.62.243	3-Jul-07/2:40 AM
Elizabeth the First.
Re: Lick up your ears by Dental Panic	Ranger 86.131.62.243	3-Jul-07/2:43 AM
Wow - I just rediscovered this little gem. 'Today I've decided I wasn't killed. No way' is the best thing I've read for some time. Glorious, and favourited.
Re: Pot Haikus (Ode to Stoners) by Shardik	lmp 141.154.134.3	3-Jul-07/7:55 AM
spliff-er-riffic!
Re: Consider the Grass by Dovina	INTRANSIT 65.29.60.146	3-Jul-07/8:01 AM
There's still some trimming to be done. Resilient, a lesson, can go. Possibly- efficient, as well. Like the silo as a cola can. Maybe not so much awe. Just watching, I think would be better.
Re: Nothing to See Here (Rant) by Skamper	INTRANSIT 65.29.60.146	3-Jul-07/8:17 AM
I see potential beyond the break beat. I'd like to see you work this poem. w/h vote.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 65.29.60.146	3-Jul-07/8:18 AM
plunk.
Re: What the log book doesn't show by INTRANSIT	lmp 141.154.134.3	3-Jul-07/8:31 AM
i think s6 sums up the entire message succinctly. s2 is a bit confusing: flatlines EKG, but no ink marks. and transparent links (as in weblinks)...? i do like the analogies between your own vessel and that of an automobile. i am guessing the "logbook" is the recordings of a GPS device, and that someone rather upset/ill is driving around concerend for their well being. dunno. i like the images and am intrigued by the "story".
regarding some deleted poem...	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.192.121	3-Jul-07/8:44 AM
How true. This is one of your best poems. When you wipe a spastic's ass, you must take care or the little cunt can shit all over your hands.
Re: Bitter by Ranger	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.192.121	3-Jul-07/8:46 AM
What a touching piece of writing. The reader is transported to a new world and the poet should be transported too.
Re: Operation Candy Apple Tango by thepinkbunnyofdoom	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.192.121	3-Jul-07/8:47 AM
As subtle as a 10 inch dick on a midget.
Re: turd cutter by Count Flatula	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.192.121	3-Jul-07/8:49 AM
I just re-read this. I don't know why.
Re: Consider the Grass by Dovina	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.192.121	3-Jul-07/8:50 AM
Pretentious.
Re: Summer Festival by Christof	Nicholas Jones 86.141.26.195	3-Jul-07/11:30 AM
This is actually rather lovely. I see that you too are enjoying the great British summer. The irony of using the word 'flood' to refer to the sun rather than the water is nicely done.
regarding some deleted poem...	Skamper 202.6.132.59	3-Jul-07/6:58 PM
Nice work if you can get it How about something from the lighter side of life?
Re: Lamb of God by Edna Sweetlove	Skamper 202.6.132.59	3-Jul-07/7:02 PM
at least she gave it's arse a break