There's this collective pinna to which you all have emotional ties. It's difficult for all of us (women) to get arround it.

I does not show the bicyclist you went clear over to the other shoulder to pass, knowing that your wind gust might knock her off balance if you passed too close, and her sigh of relief. Was that you?

Its to hard to get into any of your work, no offense but you are a completely hideous writer. Make some things more catchy and less boring to read.

Stanza 6 is great - I love a judiciously used pun. I think the last stanza also sums the whole up very poignantly. I'm afraid I don't know what an EKG is, so I'm not sure if I entirely get stanza 2, though the meaning is clear, but generally I think this is one of the best things I've read on this site.

Hey, I still like cochlea. This seems a little less sensuous than it did before - I'm not sure what other changes have been made - but it seems to me smoother and less memorable. I wouldn't have changed it. But you can't please all the people all the time...

first three stanzas work, then it all goes John Cage-ish and dischordant. maybe thats the way it goes.... things just fall apart.

agree with Dovina's coments and also with INTRANSIT. this does have a lot more potential, and you have shown us with previous work that you can polish this up.

expresses something that i think everyone has felt at some time or another. very true.

sounds like another tragic washed-up teenage story. far too common.

Better than your last one. Shows more insight that at 15-person should have. "My story will become Just one more volume to Line the Fates shelves" could be shortened or omitted. The "fate" thing is much overdone in poems, not just yours. Try to find a new twist on it. The last two lines are good.

Slips on her heels to achieve the S Of breast and spine, of calf, of self. These lines could start something from her POV. As it is, it gets quite twisted.

Are you putting the -bottom of class against her heels? Raising her up, Physically and metaphorically, so to speak? It's the only thing that seems to carry no weight. I think the- Oh, bottom of class- is there without the statement.

I think the first four lines could be condensed into one strong line. Mascara stains on the pillow should stay I think. -looking for the craven escape/ making the wind more bearable- is really good.

I'd try to get- prism colored- on the first line somehow.

I'm on the positive side here. Perhaps -memorie(s)- instead of night light. There's a subtle rythm in this poem.

i think this could be shortened, or slightly less repetitive, you use the same word- ex stayed and run and away too often. change it up a little.

nice rhythm. the rhymes are a little overused though. "pretend" "end" and "best" "test" and "run" "sun" they seem a little elementary.

wonderful perspective on faults.

i think it's odd that at 15 your so completely against religion, bad experience maybe? and i think the pattern is too loose.

the title makes me think that this might be an anniversary of some sort of loss for you?