Too much emphasis on the word beggar. And yes, it rings quite clear that this beggar wants to remain a beggar. I like the half rhymes you use.... but still think you could come up with something better than ...'travels on to something rural.'

I think your attitude may grow younger; I hope so. So keep pressing the strings, making the chords less clumsy, and unlike most people as they age, keep forgiving. Oh, yes, try to make you poetry less clumsy too. Best of luck.

Please stop writing about this woman on a bicycle, crossing America coast to coast, now three-fourths of the way from Virginia to California. I can relate to much of the sentiment in this. What are you riding?

I am with you until the last three lines. The ending switches topic too much and is unclear.

Do you really need two "holy"'s? The first verse is a riddle - 4 generations I think. The last two lines are great. Thanks for making me read Psalm 34 again.

Good title for this.

reminds me of malcolm who i worked with, are you writing his biography lol

i haven't read all of your work, but thus far, this is my favorite... even though you're a better writer than me, i'd have to say the first and last lines should be switched, in my opinion. because if you're deteriorating then you're no longer waiting for the ground, right?

Can you not write a better Haiku than a 5th grader?

after the second verse i just quit reading it.... you rhymes are to simple, and to everywhere... i agree with cheese doodles.

i've realized you really love jesus, and god, and all that bullshit, but if you love somethings give it away, you may have heard that saying before. what i'm saying is in this song of yours, if you killed someone, i don't think your jesus would be to happy.. maybe try writting about some other things?? maybe? .......

this is disgusting, which makes it better.

and shed a bitter tear

Mostly marvellous, the rhythm reminds me of the clicking of a train except for the middle of stanza two where it becomes a bit disjointed. I didn't see any need for the backstage pass, but the rest is grand.

There is no such thing as the 'glass ceiling' in business. It is simply that men are inherently better at kissing bums. Imagine the following thought experiment, exclusively stolen from Scott Adams: a man and a woman of equal qualifications are both vying for the same promotion. They are put in an aircraft hanger with three hundred pasty white executive arses bent over. Whoever kisses them all first will get the promotion. The only possible outcome is that while the woman puts together a task force to determine relative worth of such a method and consider less demeaning alternatives, the man is halfway down the line, puckering up to every cheek and slipping his business card in every crack.

Well we are all dreamers Looking for what we dreamed yesterday But we don’t know We drag them all through tomorrows Where the reality seems too real The worst thing is we can't reach Those unreachable dreams Our passions never stop us That last in tears of our uncertainty Why we couldn’t...How it could happen The destiny became stranger than our lives We live with things unsaid and unsound Rising and falling down Here in our hearts The ocean has no depth No end ....no destination We are wandering along our dreams Our roads ...our days... But the point is you must devote yourself for someone or some reasons I know it's hard...or maybe impossible Devotions give your choices how you can change One day impossible is possible There are so many ways to go You can discover on your own Can I ask you? What are important things you like about a man?

the first stanza here swings along real nice but then the poetry (not necessarily the poetic thoughts) seems to dry up.try the rest using the meter of that ... maybe even let the first stanza stand by itself ... the fewer words, the more a poem can say .:-)

a point for "chirp"

you seemed such a nice sensitive guy too . aaahh ...( sigh)....

oh..bluddyell