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Suggestion:
Sasha @ 69.138.236.63
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6-May-04/6:22 PM
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Reply
I suggest you let us make minor adjustments to poems without trashing all the votes they've racked up.
Replies:
The trick is how to determine what a 'minor adjustment' is.
Or to work out a system around that, somehow.
Why don't you just have a tickbox, and if you tick it then it's a minor edit, votes aren't reset, and it doesn't go to the top of the recent poemes list. And it adds one to your gay meter.
I think a GAY METER is an excellent idea! What else would add to it?
My suggestions: 1. [comments on own post]/[other people's comments on it] > 1 2. [comments on own post]/[comments on other people's] > 1 3. comments less than 10 words, excepting BOW'LS, UTTER BOW'LS, GUFF, UTTER GUFF, NOPE, and JESUS. 4. submitting a poem as Lyric, Ode, Acrostic, Cinquain, or Haiku
I would suggest 5. receiving votes on a poeme from an account with which you share an IP (i.e. voting on yourself). The problem with that is that Fraser Allonby would probably use the Everyone account to smear gay all over anyone who had also used Everyone. And if he didn't, I probably would.
If nentwined doesn't build a GAYMETER into poemranker, I suggest a parallel site based on the principles of the MEDIOCRITY CHECKLISTE which a) produces a alphanumeric code representing current gayness, like the checkliste, or b) has an updateable roster of poemranker users linked to their current gayness profiles.
Gayness quotients should somehow be cumulative and graphically representable. If you're unwilling to do this, I might pirate the checkliste code and try to do it myself, though I'll certainly bollocks it in the worst possible way.
Mayhaps this could be combined with an official DUNCEMETER. Which is basically a seperate voting option to rate a poems stupidity. Could use a range of IQs scores or simple 1 to 10 scale.. or whatever other idea that tickles our freakish fancy.
Or perhaps the DUNCEMETER could be offered as an option at ones user page. Would surely save some folks the time wasted clicking the mouse like some perverted techno-pervert.
you forgot GUFFED-UP BOW'LS
But then I could post a really emotional poeme about love and reading Lawrence in California and get loads of tens, then edit it completely, changing it into a poeme about a lewd, but tick the minor edit box and keep all the tens. Then when the FBI get called in, everyone who voted ten will get busted even though they had no idea what shit was about to go down.... is that why you need to add one the gay meter as well? Perhaps there should also be a tickbox labeled 'lewd', which you tick if it's a lewd edit.
that's exactly what the gay meter would be for.
which is the heart of the issue (not gayness, but switching data out on people).
There are in fact three issues.
1. One should be able to edit one's poeme without losing all of one's votes. 2. One shouldn't be able to use editing to overcome the submission limit. 3. One shouldn't be able to use editing to sneak a LEWD onto the best poemes list. The current, MORALLY BANKRUPT solution ignores the first point and clumsily attempts a solution of the second two. However: * On examination, the third point rapidly dissolves into an inconvenient pool of buncombe. The alleged danger is that people will somehow get high votes and then suddenly switch the well-ranked poeme for an utterly lewd one. Q: But who actually gets poemes on the best list? A: Mature Poetes. And the idea that a Mature Poete would slip in a LEWD is beyond unthinkable. The solution need not concern itself with the third point. Therefore, editing should not wipe the votes from a poeme. * The second point, that people are using edits to overcome the submission limit, is probably true. But what is the purpose of the submission limit in the first place? a) To stop people joining the site, posting all their poemes and leaving. b) To prevent the Recent Poemes/Random Poeme system being flooded with one person's poemes. a) is not a concern. People can only edit as many poemes as they have. b) would stop being a concern if edited poemes stopped being treated as newly submitted poemes. Therefore, don't send edited poemes to the top of Recent Poemes, and don't increase their frequency in Random Poemes. There is one problem with this: Sometimes people want their newly-edited poeme to be 'circulated' without wiping out all of their votes. Solution: Let an edited poeme retain its votes but be 'circulated' again at the cost of a 'submission point' for the current time period. If it has the status of a new poeme, it should cost the same as one. -10-
great idea!
I can't think of anything wrong with that. Damn.
What happens when the gaymeter is pegged? Don't tell me - you can't post a cinquain?
By 'pegged' do you mean 'anally penetrated by a woman wearing a strap-on dildo'?
Either that, or your own dick - the difference is small.
That's super funny! Where do you get all this crazy material?
Why do you have the urge to use gay as an insult. As far as can see, the only criteria you need is whether you are sexually attracted to persons of the same gender.
The word 'gay' has a meaning of 'rubbish, useless, ridiculous, contemptible' which is as distinct from 'homosexual' as 'homosexual' is from 'happy, care-free'. If the bummers can steal 'gay' for their own purposes then by god we can steal it back.
'gay' has only come to mean 'rubbish, useless, ridiculous, contemptible' by its association with homosexuality. That's the whole point. That's the only reason it is funny, and the only reason it is one of the most childishly ace insults known to mankind. That's why I disagree with making the distinction between its use as an insult, and as simply meaning 'homosexual', and it's also why I think Nicholas Jones is a fucking prude retard.
I just don't happen to think homophobia is amusing. That's not a particularly extreme point of view. Find a better word to insult people with, that one's ours now.
You are a bulging gonad.
Oh how gushingly reasonable and mature of you not to find homophobia amusing! Congratulations on being a top-notch prude, you sagging, witless bum-arse. All I can say is you're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak. I know much more about what is or isn't funny than you do, and I think the word 'gay' is funny because it is so childish. In a similar vein, I've often thought I found toilet humour amusing because it was so childish, and so deeply rooted in intense stupidity, but there is also a part of me that finds toilet humour amusing simply because it is brown and smelly - go figure!
(P.S My use of the phrase 'go figure' has just made me cringe my pants)
I don't disagree that the third meaning 'rubbish, useless, ridiculous, contemptible' is derived from the second meaning 'homosexual'. Nor that the derivation is exactly why it's so funny. And nor that the meanings are always distinct in use. When an effeminate child is accused of being a gaylord by his peers, it clearly has both meanings at once. But if it's true that Microsoft Word's AutoFormat function is gay (and it is), and false that it is homosexual (and it is), then there is a difference between the meaning of "gay" and "homosexual" in this example.
Just as the bummersexuals chose to derive their name from "gay" (happy, care-free) in order to imply that bumming is just a bit of innocent, frolicky fun.
Well, a partial solution could be that added punctuation (commas, colons, semicolons etc.) are counted as "minor" and do not move the poem to the top of the "recent" list or erase the voting history. A similar adjustment could be made for typos and such.
Also, an edit with fewer than, say, 5 added lines (not blank spaces for appearence, but lines containing text) could be considered a "minor edit."
It only takes one word to completely change the meaning of a poeme. It might even be turned into a lewd by adding one word. Consider the following non-lewd:
"The hobo wore clothes on Sundays." By adding one word, it can be changed into the following dreadful lewd: "The hobo wore no clothes on Sundays." Hardly a minor edit, I daresay.
Okay - I had a vision.
I see a poem summary header. It goes above each poem when viewed by the author. If I look at my poem I see it, if you look at my poem you don't. The header says things that exist now, like score, date submitted, number of comments, style, etc. AND it says some new things. it has: NOTES: (free form field) VERSION: :one: :two: :three: (these are links, the last one is what is available to others poemrankers. As each is clicked, the summary changes with it). There is a checkbox "make active"; we can talk about how that works another time. SUBMISSION STATUS: (such as) -- unsubmitted -- MARKET: Edge City Review (hyperlink) STATUS: accepted DATE: 1 July 2004 Status could be: submitted, rejected, accepted, acknowledged, resub requested. SUBMISSION SUMMARY (this button will list titles with submission statuses on one line each) ______________________________ Thats what I have so far. These features are only available to Registered Users AND they might require a fee because you will need more database. Along with this, they get: - submission tracking - spell check --=limited=- HTML (nothing over 12 point, no marquee, etc.) - 3 versions - advanced search (or just plain search) - whatever. Hell, it's got to be worth something - I know it is to me.
Ugh.
so - you like the idea?
'Swounds.
LoL - is that good, or is that bad?!
Your plan has all the worst aspects of internet porn combined with all the aspects of pretentious nonsense. The idea that anyone ON THIS SITE could indicate IN A SPECIAL BOX that they've published or are marketing a poem is the guffiest of ultraguffified guff. The idea of linking to multiple versions while not changing the vote average is the worst possible conflation of vote-whoring, enormously overinflated pretention, and posting whatever half-considered nonsense comes into one's head at the stroke of 48 hours. What's more:
1. "submission tracking" means nothing to me. 2. spell check is or should be utterly anathema to poemranker, especially since anyone here who regularly misspells has already so dirtied him or herself with preposterous statements about the restrictions/uselessness of correct spelling that he or she should be ashamed - ASHAMED - to use it. 3. "limited HTML" could only result in a gufftuous glut of crap BOLD, ITALICIZED, and - worst - CENTERED poems that will make poets2000 and allpoetry look non-gay in comparison. 4. We already have an advanced search which works superbly. 5. Registration is also anathema to poemranker. 6. Everything which has been said on the suggestion page lately about protecting votes, whoring for votes, or otherwise specially marking your poem (say, as a pantoum) to get votes is the height of gayness. In short, it's bad - supremely bad for the future of poemranker, I fear. Someone will (or should) note the likelihood that I'm saying all these things so I can protect my cushy spot here, posting relatively unoffensive crap poems which are pushed to just-plain-silly rankings by the multiple votes of a few users, while parading around 20 hours a day mocking everyone indiscriminately. Crap, says I. Poemranker is currently run on simple and beautiful principles, whose beauty springs from the fact that NO-ONE, and I mean NO-ONE, has any right to pretension here. I mean, suppose you do make it to the top of the User page? Congratulations, your stellar verse just beat out a crowd of amateurs (like yourself) all more than likely voted into their positions by a combination of whimsy, self-aggrandization, and outright maliciousness (like yourself). Poemranker isn't allpoetry or erratosphere, and it shouldn't be. Have you seen how SUPREMELY GAY those sites are????!! Hmm, what could be the difference between p/r and them?? Could it be that they actually have the addleheaded notion that they're real poets "discoursing" in a real forum? Yes! Bow'ls, says I.
All the information would ONLY be available to the poem's author. So, I think that kills the pretension argument.
As for the rest - I don't agree with, but I can understand why some would.
Oh.
Well then why the fuck would you need to have it online?
As a tool to keep track of things. I find that I'm not always on my machine at home when I want to make some writing-based action. I now have everything I need on the web.
I use writersmarket online now to fill this need, which I pay for - but the subscription is yearly. Lots of folks do submission tracking online - not just me.
Yes, obviously, but that has nothing to do with poemeranker. Poemeranker is a site for ranking poemes. Personal version management is not the same thing. Get an account on a remote cvs server or something.
Listen asswipe, that's what the suggestion is all about an extended version available to folks who actually want to support the fucking site.
You can enjoy your free perch to do *whatever it is you do* and stay unmembered.
So basically what you're proposing is a totally unrelated extension to a poem ranking site, because you can't grasp the idea of using 2 sites for 2 separate things? Nice one!!!
And because your rampant insecurity about mean anonymous people giving bad votes to your poemes can only be assuaged by having a Special Registered VIP Member Harness?
Yeah, that must be it.
I'm proposing adding functionality that would entice people to financially support the site.
Sue me, berate me smother me in shit - I still won't understand why you'd be against that.
I'm not against the idea of "adding functionality that would entice people to financially support the site" per se. However, what you're proposing is bunc'm, for the reason I have been wheezing on about.
The activity of reading and voting on public poemes is wholly separate from the activity of keeping private revisions of poemes and private notes on those revisions in a private online store. If you really want to send money to nentwined, why don't you just do it and let him decide how to improve the site, or request a feature that is related to the ranking of poemes?
And suggest that we do away with suggestions, does that work for ya?
Do away with colossally inappropriate suggestions.
And how does one measure the inappropriateness of a suggestion?
Do you have a formula for that, Comrade?
The formula is, and has been for a while now:
(suggestion poster's poems)/(votes on those poems) Therefore, you fail.
I feel your pain, Shuushin. I once wrote to Ebay suggesting that they offer a free email service as a way to get people to support their regular online auction service. They sent me a giant "no" in the form of a free collectible pre-lubricated Steve-Tyler-autographed fist attached to a hulking Negro prison escapee.
Man, you're lucky - I love those.
It's very easy to be cynical about poemeranker, zodiac. So easy to sweep everything under the guff-blanket before sitting back and wallowing in a duvet of your own smugness. But who are you to say what a 'real poete' is? Who are you to say which forums are 'real' and which are 'buncombe'? Who are you to say what constitutes 'valid poetic discourse'? And I don't think I've read anything quite so greasy as your 'oh-so-modest' claim that your time here has been spent posting 'relatively unoffensive crap poemes'. In the competition for trying to appear nonchalant, whilst simultaneously being about as nonchalant as my buttocks shortly after I was told I'd be hosting the 1st International Conference on Advanced Prune Technology, you take first prize: an addlehead of pure golde :( -10-
hey thanks for your great comment!
Jesus.
That is a swollen jam rag pouch of a suggestion.
Dear lord what have I done
All I was talking about was some way to separate major changes from minor ones
You are big sweaty coon.
And you are a piece of fecal matter
You are a hanky saturated with large iridescent wods of phlegm.
And you are a big sweaty coon.
and you are a gigantic blob that lies around shaking, vaguely resembling a first-time-fellated obese man.
I respectfully request that you go back to your septic tank, or wherever the hell you came from, sir.
And you eat the mucus that accumulates in Violetsuede's (qv) flaps whilst she ripens her prosperous buttocks on your thimble sized, "clit mistakeable" penis.
And you are a hanky saturated with large iridescent wods of phlegm. And you are a big sweaty coon. SPACER
What has happened to dear Fraser Allonby? I do hope it's nothing to do with a comment about a certain barrister's office.
Sadly, My fat legged friend has been chasing ambulances all week in Romford and Clerkenwell. You could always call him I suppose?
The fact that you can't see me doesn't necessarily indicate that I'm not here.
Observe: A TYPICAL WORKING DAY, BY FRASER ARCHIBALD ALLONBY, Esq., BARRISTER-AT-LAW 09.00 Eat a large iced bun and drink a cup of tea 09.10 Pay a visit to http://www.poemranker.com/comment-recent 09.30 Wander over to http://www.poemranker.com/suggestion-lis 10.00 Eat a pork pie 10.10 Peruse all the recent comments on http://www.poemranker.com/comment-recent 11.00 Eat a jar of pickled herrings 11.30 Go to http://www.poemranker.com/suggestion-lis 12.00 Empty my bow'ls 12.30 Go for lunch 15.30 Return from lunch and have a cup of coffee 16.00 Return to http://www.poemranker.com/comment-recent 16.30 Read all the recent suggestions on http://www.poemranker.com/suggestion-lis 17.00 Do some work 17.30 Go home
I trust you bill someone for all that time, if not you are shameful amateur.
I, for example, am "working" from home today. So far I have had a full cooked breakfast, read the Telegraph in the garden, perused poemranker three times, perused largechebs.com twice, and billed all of this to a client at £250 per hour + Value Added Tax, which I fully intend not to declare.
And you are emotionally scarred because no one wanted to play with you when you were a kid, not even Michael Jackson.
Your face is shaped like a baboon's snatch.
And you eat the mucus that accumulates in Violetsuede's (qv) flaps whilst she ripens her prosperous buttocks on your thimble sized, "clit mistakeable" penis. And you are a hanky saturated with large iridescent wods of phlegm. And you are a big sweaty coon.
and the wasps and mosquitos are the only ones daring (or small) enough to suck on your insect-scale penis to satisfy your sexual frustration
And you are an ugly herpes wart on a salamander's tongue
You ache to eat cuntbutter directly from the tub, alas men's poo pots serve as your trough.
And your job is to serve as a manual colostomy bag for the elderly by attaching your Baboon's snatch of a face to an opening from the colon to function as an anus. And you eat the mucus that accumulates in Violetsuede's (qv) flaps whilst she ripens her prosperous buttocks on your thimble sized, "clit mistakeable" penis. And you are a hanky saturated with large iridescent wods of phlegm. And you are a big sweaty coon.
your a cock
And you are an anal cyst.
and you're a pimple on a pin-sized penis
Wow, hey, you're still doing this! I guess you figure it'll be over at some point and you'll have won.
Hey Guy!
He's blundering around like a pederast's stiffy in an orphanage after lights out looking for that knock out blow of an insult.
Sadly as he's an overpoweringly squashed flange I will never let him get the last word in.
You're not even on the same playing field.
Sasha thinks the game is to invent subtle "witticisms" after the fashion of the Cavalier poets of the Restoration, requiring a good five seconds and a pipe full of fine Virginia leaf to appreciate fully. You think the game is to fit as many words from The Official Poemranker Liste of Naughty Insults as you can into the smallest possible spaces. You are, of course, right.
Sometimes I can't believe how incredibly gay poemeranker is, and how incredibly gay I am to keep looking at it.
hear hear.
and there too.
*PARP*
Lick my left nut
You are a clot.
I've found that, to my utter horror, theres plenty of people now to perpetuate the stupidity of internet name calling and/or comments filled with sarcarstic irony and lies or half-truths and embalmed rubbish manifested to make it look like something of actual substance. My job has been swept from under my pimpled ass, and as a jester who was bred pure and raised with the training that is befitting of a jester, I'm appalled that these mud-blood idiots have replaced me...
Perhaps I should make a return and make myself a noticeable source or dunce spawned irritation once again. I think thats what I've been needing to do for awhile..
Perhaps you should pull your trousers up so high that your violently parping buttocks are forced to declare a truce.
boner biter
bite mine
You have a huge anus.
I just wanna see what happens when an IP address and a date collide...
I Hve absolutely no idea.
And you are a fat desperate masturbator covered in dried jizz
And you are a soiled cock wipe.
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