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A Dream (Free verse) by DarkThirteens
Now it is night. I can see the stars. The moon shines down on my face. I'm now illuminated, pale enough to be a spirit. My black hair adds to the white. I must be the forest spirit I always dream of. The green splash in my eyes indicates foliage. Hollow but full. Sleep till morning. Drifting then Gone.

Up the ladder: Oh So Hollow
Down the ladder: take a jump with me

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.75
Weighted score: 4.970199
Overall Rank: 8427
Posted: February 20, 2004 10:04 PM PST; Last modified: February 20, 2004 10:04 PM PST
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Comments:
[4] devina @ 195.5.74.5 | 21-Feb-04/3:59 AM | Reply
It´s okey, but....
[n/a] DarkThirteens @ 24.18.137.238 | 22-Feb-04/10:54 AM | Reply
If you could point out spelilng errors that would help. Thanks.
[n/a] richa @ 81.178.219.107 > DarkThirteens | 22-Feb-04/11:32 AM | Reply
The comment was in response to a mispelled comment by devina. I can't see any obvious mispelling in your piece.

Gone -- why is it capitalised.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.130.214.180 | 22-Feb-04/4:34 PM | Reply
You spelled 'Cream' "Dream" for one.

And 'Monkey Fluff', "foilage", but I thought that was brilliant.
[n/a] DarkThirteens @ 24.18.137.238 | 23-Feb-04/6:53 PM | Reply
Thanks Horus! lol
I capitalized Gone because I thought it would put more of a punch on the ending? I'm just beginning and trying new things. I'm open to ideas.
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