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What went wrong with America? (An essay) (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
A super power, and world-renowned entity. America is the beautiful home of the brave. The land of opportunity, and a virtual melting pot of cultures, dreams, and religions. But what went wrong in the evolution of this great country of ours? Was it the fact that it was stolen from a peaceful indigenous people more then 300 years ago, and now through karma we are getting our fair dues? Is it because we as a nation are only as strong as our weakest link? That link being the epitome of a spoiled retarded sloth child. Is it because in our quest to prove to the world that our methods of governing and trading are better than theirs? Or have we lost our way and forgotten what it was that we set out to discover in the first place? Here is a fact, the American Indians showed early Americans settlers how to survive by teaching them how and what to grow. Where were suitable habitats to build homes in? And we repaid them by giving them barren land to live upon. Killing their food supply, and murdering them at random and in large massing. Because, we know very little about true respect outside of our own best interests. When the going gets going, that is. (Ghost dance, Wounded knee etc...) When did it become America's responsibility to rid the world of evil? And how is that any different than what Hitler, or Napoleon, attempted to achieve through Imperialism, propaganda, fear, genocide, and an acute manipulation of power? Unfortunately, it's likely all of these things, and then some. In fact, the list doesn't improve from there it gets even worse. What's the real cut and dry difference between Capitalism and Socialism when you really get down to the nitty gritty of it all. And does the bottom man get a fair shot either way? Are they based, both, only on the upper class's best opportunistic financial endevours? Or equally balanced to cater to both ends? Imagine policing the world for weapons of mass destruction? When, so far, America is the only nation thus far to drop an atomic weapon to date. And is responsible for creating the blue prints to 99% of all weapons of mass destruction in the last three World Wars any how? How could we teach the Iraqis how to make biological agents back in the late 70's (Because we wanted them to use it against Iran, and they did along with their own people) For us to turn around and persecute them for it now? Did you know 130,000 Japanese died at Hiroshima alone? Not counting the blast to Nagasaki? That's not even counting the effects that it had on birth abnormalities and other natural ecological losses? From the radiation and blast range scarring. Let alone the spiritual and psychological damage? (Just visit Japan to see what I mean, they're all completely nuts. Trying to absorb and immitate us). As a citizen of this nation and a son to her ways am I too responsible for the rising tide of contempt that the rest of the world now holds against America? Yes, I am, and so is each and every citizen both on and off of her majestic shores. Why, one might ask? Well, for starters, America holds the largest collection of undereducated self proclaimed know it alls that the world has ever seen massed together. Where else can you breed Bill Gates and Rodney King all under the same roof? Go from Silicon Valley to Death Valley in the blink of an eye. Buy crack, finish a business meeting early, fuck your mistress at the Four Seasons, and still find a few spare minutes to order Chinese? All in a few square miles by cellular phone. It is common knowledge that Americans are greedy, narrow sighted, and ridiculously pretentious without fair reason or even an objective. A nation where two thirds of its occupants still believe the earth was created a couple thousand years ago. Yet, some how consider ourselves a mold for others to follow. A mold to break all molds. The cream of the crop. The word 'ironic' can't even begin to describe our current position on world wide political debates. When does a child get too big for its britches? Guess what, take a look at America, and that's when. With misinformation and well edited media mediums. (Is it Ironic that Zion controls 90% of the media?) Coupled by a deaf Jackass's ability to reason. America is single handedly carving out entire new areas in the vastly undiscovered terrain of political self destruction and double talk. We cannot survive another hundred years going at this rate? Not a snowballs chance in hell. Our government has successfully duped itself and all of its citizens along with it into believing the impossible. Over and over again, for as long as one can go back into our short history as an industrious nation. Is this a new phenomenon? Not at all, in fact every great democracy and or republic since the dawn of time has committed the same naive mistakes. Including the greatest known empires that there has ever been. Greece, Rome, France, England, the Huns, just to name a few. Whether they knew it, or not. Believe me, in the end they could have smacked themselves for not catching on earlier before it was too late. Psychologically, a government should be maintained from it's origin much the same way a child is. It must be nurtured, educated, cared for, trusted, and most of all self sufficient and respectfully wise as it gets on in its years. What is this great mistake you might be asking yourselves? Simple, it's the inability to lead by example and keep your word. With out forgetting that not everyone else feels the same way about the same things at exactly the same moments in time as you do? You might be asking yourselves "Yeah, well what can I do about it?" And as long as you keep repeating that lazy half assed typical American excuse in your mind? Will be exactly the same amount of time that nothing about this great country ever changes. For Christ sake, if a bunch of loaded hippies could manage to open the eyes of the public forty years ago and force our government to take responsibility for its actions, then why can't we? What is it going to take? Losing your Mcdonalds and MTV, or losing your constitutional rights? Because, you've already lost a great deal of the latter without even knowing what they were. Or what they meant to the couple million soldiers and patriots that died so that you might better appreciate who you are and what you have. We are Americans, and we need to wake up before it's to late. Why allow the world to stereo -type who you are by the actions of officials who don't hold your or America's best interest at heart, but rather in their wallets.

Up the ladder: Da Ghetto
Down the ladder: O say, can you see?

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 6.0
Overall Rank: 1282
Posted: November 2, 2003 3:43 PM PST; Last modified: November 2, 2003 3:43 PM PST
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[6] Shuushin @ | 2-Nov-03/4:06 PM | Reply
Jeremi (baba/bachus/horus/shardik) -

Functionally its a fairly pulling read (though, ironically, I was zoning out right around the park where you refer to Americans as lazy half-asses; go figure).

Not any new angles here though, is there? And the premise of rallying a group to action by name-calling is flawed. As a vent though - I can feel your pain.

But as an argument, you could add credibility to this if you backed up your claims with some statistics, references and specific examples, like for:
"America holds the largest collection of undereducated" (percentages compared to world?),
"two thirds of its occupants still believe the earth
was created a couple thousand years ago" (a reference would be nice here),
"Simple, it's the inability to lead by example and keep your word." (examples),
"now through karma we are getting our fair dues?" - (what is this referring to, exactly, casinos?)",
"common knowledge that Americans are greedy,
narrow sighted, and ridiculously pretentious without
fair reason or even an objective" (references? even something anectdotal would help)

If its just rant, then fine, carry on - but if you want to make a compelling argument then make it sound like you did your homework.
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ > Shuushin | 2-Nov-03/5:13 PM | Reply
You must not get out much. I don't have to back up fact with fact that would be rhedundant. I wouldn't have to give an educated American any examples to support my claims they already know exactly what I'm talking about, and yet at the same time I can't be expected to educate the masses in basic American history. Nor can I be expected to inform the uninformed as to why reading the morning paper is useful.

Now to bluntly answer your mundane questions one at a time.

1. America is #1 on the list of Super powers that contains the largest amount of illiterate citizens per square mile.
In fact America is one of the few countries where it's occupants can barely speak one language let alone grasp another language or culture. Something evenn migrating fruit pickers have the ability to do. And why the French, Germans and English laugh at us repeatedly.

2. A poll last year showed that two thirds of Americans believed that god created the earth two to three thousand years ago. I take it you haven't traveled the bible belt much eh?

3. America is notorious for creating puppet governments and then abandoning them. The list is too long to type out. But who do you think created Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden? Yep, America.

4. Casinos? Hardly, try the fall of the towers. And other unlucky occurances that have plagued our nation over the years. From the economy to environmental catastrophes. What goes around comes around.

5. An anecdote? Go to your local pub for an anecdote you'll find many just waiting to unload their rich knowledge of the curent events upon you. lol. I'm only laughing because in a recent poll Americans when asked what Mesopotamian was answered a period in history when dinosaurs walked the earth? lol, and guess what? It was a multiple choice question.
[6] Shuushin @ > Jeremi B. Handrinos | 2-Nov-03/6:34 PM | Reply
Your mission was not to convince me, your mission was to write a better essay. You've failed on both counts.

I'm not here to get, or give political education - I'm here for the wordsmithing, so use your soapbox as a writing desk and try again.
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ > Shuushin | 2-Nov-03/6:52 PM | Reply
I've rewritten it already if you'dve noticed while you were busy assuming whatever it is you are attempting to assume.
[6] Shuushin @ > Jeremi B. Handrinos | 3-Nov-03/8:00 AM | Reply
Nice additions; helps.
[2] poetandknowit @ | 2-Nov-03/7:17 PM | Reply
Such generic thinking, and to come from such a hard hittin' street poet and budding screenwriter as yourself. It is in these rants that your severe lack of education shows. Alas, the bucklehead arises and speaks the truth of the blue-collar beat. Rise up proletariats. Rise up!!!!
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ > poetandknowit | 2-Nov-03/7:20 PM | Reply
The only thing rising up here is that dick on your face you've been passing off for a nose all these years.
[2] poetandknowit @ > Jeremi B. Handrinos | 2-Nov-03/7:22 PM | Reply
Not only does it talk, but its so clever. Mom, can I have one?
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ > poetandknowit | 2-Nov-03/7:40 PM | Reply
Well, now we know you're just full of shit. How can you you have one when you already are rich with so many? lol.
[2] poetandknowit @ > Jeremi B. Handrinos | 2-Nov-03/7:48 PM | Reply
Easy there Billy Babbit.
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ > poetandknowit | 2-Nov-03/7:54 PM | Reply
After you Captain Crunch.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ > Jeremi B. Handrinos | 2-Nov-03/8:16 PM | Reply
No, after you Cecil.
[n/a] horus8 @ > Nicholas Jones | 2-Nov-03/8:30 PM | Reply
No can do Homer, I insist
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ > poetandknowit | 3-Nov-03/5:41 AM | Reply
To say that this poeme is generic thinking is also generic thinking.
You, sir, are an abomination of the human spirit. Every since we broke up last spring you have sought to distort my good name among our collective social group and hurt my feelings at any expense. I am sorry things did not work out, but you must move on, dear.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ > poetandknowit | 3-Nov-03/11:41 AM | Reply
Late at night when the Kindly Folk Of The Towne are fast asleep. That is your time. Your quiet time. Skulking through the shadows in a black cape, you forage for night-chives in the park. But what's that bleating? It is your bleating. You have unearthed a fresh harvest of berries beneath a shrub. Tonight will be a night for feasting; you shan't need to feed again for several days.

* * *

Morning beckons, and the Towne is no place for a breedling. Cradling your prize in wicker hands, you must return to the roost. The sky reddens and Kindly Folk begin to stir. But they don't ask questions. There is little trace of your activities: a few berry stains lining the gutter; and the pavings have been littered with fresh dung from the night before.
[n/a] Bachus @ > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 3-Nov-03/2:20 PM | Reply
A finely blended vintage compilement of wit.
[n/a] Bachus @ > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 3-Nov-03/2:21 PM | Reply
I meant combilement, of course.
[7] scitz @ | 3-Nov-03/4:55 AM | Reply
a real asskicker 7
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ | 3-Nov-03/5:40 AM | Reply
Napoleon had five secret weapons: imperialism, propaganda, fear, genocide and... acute manipulation of power. But the greatest of these was acute manipulation of power. Acute/10
[10] Johnnie Baptiste @ | 3-Nov-03/6:06 AM | Reply
[n/a] tadpole @ | 4-Nov-03/9:15 AM | Reply
Maybe all this garbage is our own fault
[5] the_poetess @ | 7-Mar-05/7:28 PM | Reply
i couldnt even be bothered to read this - this site is for poetry not essay - 5 because it looks like you might have put effort in any way
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