Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Symbol Of Love (Sonnet) by simone_girard
Father weeps and mother cries As a newborn baby closes her eyes Nobody knows why she's gone Her mother and father's hearts are torn Doctor said he did all he coulda Father says maybe I shoulda But mother only lays silent and sad Knowing things have never been this bad People come to show dismay Hold their hand and have their say It's for the best they will hear Even when the tears are near So they say goodbye to their symbol of love As their baby moves on to god above Now all that they felt was their gladness Is turned entirely to heartache and sadness And now the time has come to mourn Although their baby was just born But in years to come when they look above That star they see will be their symbol of love.

Up the ladder: Eternal Sleep
Down the ladder: Fuck

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 44
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 01
.. 11
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 86

Arithmetic Mean: 3.8076923
Weighted score: 3.8156722
Overall Rank: 13490
Posted: May 20, 2003 12:02 AM PDT; Last modified: May 20, 2003 12:02 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[0] scitz @ 195.92.168.166 | 20-May-03/11:39 AM | Reply
Listen man, stop reading Barb Cartland get out into the MAtrix and spread your virus elsewhere this is as bad as a blow job from 10 years of marriage.
0
[n/a] deleted user @ 63.237.171.111 > scitz | 20-May-03/12:44 PM | Reply
Give the girl something to anchor her - everyone she writes about keeps going to heaven or hell!
[n/a] Shardik @ 24.126.113.154 > scitz | 20-May-03/3:32 PM | Reply
Ha! brilliant.
[n/a] Shardik @ 24.126.113.154 | 20-May-03/3:33 PM | Reply
Now, for you... Sterilization, enjoy the tied tubes while I ass fuck tynesha.
[n/a] simone_girard @ 203.87.54.57 > Shardik | 22-May-03/8:34 PM | Reply
Firstly you fucking idiot, this poem was not written about my daughter. It is about my bestfriends daughter who died of SIDS. Secondly if the thought of fucking a 4 year old gets you off, I suggest you not worry about me being sterilized, unlike you who should have your penis removed. On the other hand Tynesha's daddy says feel free to leave your address, as he would love to fuck you up the arse with his size 14 boot. I think I would be right in thinking in every day life you are the person that no-one wants to know. You have very few friends and had a pretty shitty home life. That to me explains why you feel the need to put everyone else's writing down, to make yourself feel better.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > simone_girard | 23-May-03/2:50 AM | Reply
I don't think he was putting your writing down. I think he was putting you down. By saying "hey, Dumb ass, do you know what a fucking sonnet is?". Now, as for you, size 14 boots, four year olds, and your friend... Don't make me cackle. You're severely outmatched, dehydrated, or just spouting because your writing is piss poor. (As for your 'threat') It's hardly effective, and barely imtimidating. I live in girl scout cookie heaven, and we don't where boots. Come and get it before we eat it all tough guy. I'm in the phone book next to your mom's warped cunt and your bitch tits. Better bring a lot of boots scooter.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.102 > horus8 | 23-May-03/3:53 AM | Reply
Shut it, horus8. Stop trying to make everyone play by your goddamn rules. Poetry isn't about following rules - it's about beauty and expressing yourself and issues. If simone_girard feels in her heart of hearts that this poeme is a sonnet, then it must be a sonnet.

By the way, simone: great use of "sadness" to rhyme with "gladness"!
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 23-May-03/6:43 AM | Reply
I am now about to use the power of my keyboard to make 'everyone' play by my god damn rules... <cricket meowls, dog crows in the distance> hmmmmm, you made it seem so much easier. (My favorite was above with love times dos) that takes guts, nuts, huts, buts, cuts, and lutz [industrial hand lotione].
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.213.23 > horus8 | 23-May-03/4:30 PM | Reply
Really Jeremi, your attempts to emulate my mock-archaic stylings are ill-informed, to say the least. Olden folk wouldn't have called lotion 'lotione'. They would have called it 'Dr Carawax's Orphobismic Ointment'.
[n/a] dmzoacan @ 68.66.123.143 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 16-Aug-03/11:23 PM | Reply
or some sort of mystikyl balme
[n/a] simone_girard @ 203.87.54.114 > horus8 | 23-May-03/7:19 PM | Reply
What is it with you. Do you always have to stand up for Shardik. Is he so fucking dumb that he cant reply himself. As for your comments on my poetry I could care less what you think of it. The only reason it is her is so that people with an intelligent comment can have there say. This in idiots terms ( just for you and your bum buddy) means if you hate it tell me why and how to improve it. I am the first to admit that I am far from the greatest writer in the world. My spelling sucks, My vocab is pretty limited and my imagination is probably not vivid enough. But that doesnt mean that you or anyone else has the write to put shit on me. I put my poetry on here to have shit put on at at times, not me. If i wanted you or your friends to put shit on me I would have put myself on here.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.213.23 > simone_girard | 24-May-03/6:31 AM | Reply
Let me pass on to you the one thing I've learned about this place. No-one here is exactly what he appears. Not horus8, not Shardik, not nentwined, and not -=Dark_Angel=-. You are though. You're an idiot. Consider this:

1) You could care less what horus8 thinks of your poetry.
2) There is a possible amount of caring lower than the amount you have. (1)
3) You could not care less than not caring at all.
4) There is no possible amount of caring lower than not caring at all (having zero care). (3)
5) The amount you care does not equal zero. (2,4)
6) You care what horus8 thinks of your poetry. (5)
[10] poemwanker @ 217.40.239.226 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 27-Jun-03/4:28 PM | Reply
Great methodology, but you are still all tits.
miss/mrs/ms/mr/doctor/lord/lady etc etc etc girard, if you put poems onto this site it is for them to be criticised. If somebody says it's shit then it means they don't like you. If everybody says its shit then it means its shit. Learn from this. Try to listen to what the other tits on here say. Sometimes they'll say something useful.
1) Please stop rhyming love with above, you've done it twice in this poem and in all the others of yours that I've bothered to read, the fact that I bothered to read them says something in itself, namely that I can't belive that they are all going to be exactly the same. Unfortunately they are.
2) Quit with the sonnets, it pisses people off when people try to do something clever. No, it pisses people off when others try to do something clever but fail miserably.
Having said this I must also add:
Shardik you are a twat. Don't bring paedophilia into this. There are plenty more 'poets' who do that on here and it's too sick even for me. Hey but before I go you should check out the dead baby joke website.
Q: What's more fun than swinging a baby round on a clothes line at 200 kph?
A: Stopping it with a shovel.
[5] bondjedi @ 216.163.73.66 | 7-Jun-03/5:14 AM | Reply
babies should sleep on their backs, freeing you up to write about something else equally depressing. you get a five.
[0] deleted user @ 195.93.34.14 | 16-Aug-03/4:06 PM | Reply
really rather pretentious, i cant believe how crap some of this is
[10] jonnyduk @ 217.137.173.65 | 4-Sep-03/12:29 PM | Reply
Why is this in the worst poem section, this is genius work, i like it you mean people, go out and get hearts.
[10] Katzclear @ 12.222.55.183 | 2-Nov-03/12:03 PM | Reply
You did a really good job on this poem. in my opinion poetry is not about making it rhyme, or making enough syllables... or enough lines.. or whatever. It's like what you did, making a statement and evoking an emotion. 10/10
331 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001