DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Youth Fair

Member since 2002 · Posted 2 Nov 2002 · Edited 4 Nov 2002 · 4 comments

..................................................... Beautiful view of laundered yards, A church, a schoolyard, shooting gallery. Buy your token at the far-right stand. Take your turn. You Lost? Do come again. When the sticky pink cotton dress Gets stuck between your thighs, You'll remember all those days, all those ways of making it up.

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4 comments

[6] poetandknowit 4-Nov-02/9:27 PM Reply

"When the sticky pink cotton dress
Gets stuck between your thighs" -- Excellent visual and rhythmic line, but the last two lines do not match it and the poem loses me a bit. After you nail something like that, a major league line, I expect the whole poem to follow. But a nice draft all the same.

[n/a] daniella › poetandknowit 18-Nov-02/6:23 PM Reply

grazie p.a.k. good point. it was taken from the tip of my tongue and clicked out here. i agree, and will wait for the ferris wheel to come around again and prime it!

[7] horus8 5-Nov-02/12:11 PM Reply

i will keep this in mind when i go to my ten year reunion in a few months. lovely.

[n/a] daniella › horus8 18-Nov-02/6:24 PM Reply

thank you sweet.