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Youth Fair (Free verse) by daniella .....................................................
Beautiful view of laundered yards,
A church, a schoolyard, shooting gallery.
Buy your token at the far-right stand.
Take your turn. You Lost? Do come again.
When the sticky pink cotton dress
Gets stuck between your thighs,
You'll remember all those days,
all those ways of making it up.
Up the ladder:
Hve you ever..... v2
Down the ladder:
The Office
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.2
Posted: November 2, 2002 5:56 PM PST; Last modified: November 4, 2002 6:27 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.0238404 Overall Rank: 7382 Comments:
i will keep this in mind when i go to my ten year reunion in a few months. lovely.
thank you sweet.
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Gets stuck between your thighs" -- Excellent visual and rhythmic line, but the last two lines do not match it and the poem loses me a bit. After you nail something like that, a major league line, I expect the whole poem to follow. But a nice draft all the same.