poemranker ::Self Portrait by Dovina

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Free verse № 148248

Self Portrait

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 5 Dec 2006 · Edited 9 Dec 2006 · 10 comments

An artist dips a brush into his soul as the Potter fingers clay to model His. Clad in kindness and a contemplative hat, an optimistic likeness stands, Tarnished by the process, but not beyond repair.

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10 comments

[9] deleted user 5-Dec-06/8:44 PM Reply
Arn't we all "tarnished by the process?" Nice work Dovina.
[n/a] Dovina › deleted user 10-Dec-06/4:41 PM Reply
Yep. A clay model or a painted likeness can’t match the original. It’s only art. But wow, can it ever knock your socks off.
[8] amanda_dcosta 7-Dec-06/5:49 AM Reply
Beautiful insight.
[8] Ranger 8-Dec-06/5:00 AM Reply
Too many uses of 'his' in the first two lines for my liking - change it to '...dips a brush'. Not sure about a contemplative hat, but I do like the rest. 'Clad in kindness/optimistic likeness' is a really good bit of wordplay there.
[2] Stephen Robins 8-Dec-06/8:44 AM Reply
Tired, sweaty and rather desperate.
[8] Ranger 10-Dec-06/10:34 AM Reply
I prefer this edit.
[n/a] Dovina › Ranger 10-Dec-06/4:38 PM Reply
Knowing you like to scoot around references to God, and realizing your acceptance for those of us who don’t, I appreciate this comment, and realize further that it probably has little to do with God, but rather with words. Thanks.
[8] LilMsLadyPoet 11-Jan-07/9:26 PM Reply
I like this... but wonder why you capitalized Potter and His.
Perhaps as a reference to God or The creator? If so, then I wonder what/who the painter is?
I think, if the God reference was on purpose, I like it without the reference, as it speaks to the differences and sameness of creators of art. But the descriptions are very tactile, but with a God reference it makes the potter and clay so much less tactile and rather illusive.
That said, whichever way it is meant to be, it is pretty good and the last two lines very good.
[8] LilMsLadyPoet › LilMsLadyPoet 11-Jan-07/9:29 PM Reply
Ah, okay, it was a reference to God.
(That's the problem with posting and voting first, before scrolling down...I say redundant things...oh well, at least you get my own uninfluenced thought at the time.
[n/a] Dovina › LilMsLadyPoet 12-Jan-07/12:10 PM Reply
This poem is like yours, in that S2 tries to show the painting. S1&3 are different in trying to show the artistic process. Yes, the Potter is God, modeling Himself with clay, making humans in His likeness. In so doing He instills an artistic bent. Thanks for the observations.