Replying to a comment on:
Self Portrait
(
Free verse
) by
Dovina
An artist dips a brush into his soul as the Potter fingers clay to model His. Clad in kindness and a contemplative hat, an optimistic likeness stands, Tarnished by the process, but not beyond repair.
Ranger
8-Dec-06/5:00 AM
Too many uses of 'his' in the first two lines for my liking - change it to '...dips a brush'. Not sure about a contemplative hat, but I do like the rest. 'Clad in kindness/optimistic likeness' is a really good bit of wordplay there.
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