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Looking Back (Free verse) by x0lovelylarnx0 Looking back I wonder what my life would be like if I had done things
differently
I realize that one single tiny thing can change everything
I try to picture what my life would be like without certain people
Looking back it's hard to remember parts of my life
Yet it seems like just yesterday I was in elementry school
Where I met my one true love
Looking back I wonder how my life would be different If I had never
asked him to be my boyfriend
It scares me to think of a life without him
I think I am supposed to be with him forever
Looking back there are some things I wish I had done differently
Now I can't change any of it
What's done is done
Up the ladder:
breaking hearts
Down the ladder:
advice
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Posted: March 17, 2006 3:41 PM PST; Last modified: March 17, 2006 3:41 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.865529 Overall Rank: 10351 Comments:
Good "conversational" piece, but a bit lacking as a poem. Was "elementry" intentional? Please say it was. *6*
I actually did not do that on purpose. I made a typing error. But down here were don't say elementary. We say elementry! LOL I had it written down as elementary. I just made a little mistake, and knowbody is perfect.
'knowbody is perfect'...that is possibly the most ironic thing I've ever seen! I don't mean to sound harsh, it just made me chuckle. 'Element'ry' fits better than 'elementary' would.
Lol sorry about that I just took it the wrong way! When I was a kid I always spelled things the way they sounded. A horrible thing to grow up with!!! LOL Cause when we had spelling test I would always do that. I also think elementry fits better elementary sounds funny to me so I don't think I'm going to change it!! Sorry again that I took you the wrong way!
No worries, just a lighthearted post, that's all. Don't worry about changing 'elementry'. Phonetic poetry sometimes works well, but it takes a lot of practise to get working.
Some good sentiments, but just not a very...ummm..daring? poem..just not too inventive...could be worked on and turned into something though.
i'm sorry but your stuff is really dreadful ....
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Also...think about rewriting this in the 3rd person - it gives you a lot more scope to be creative, to invent imagery and use metaphorical language. Which will earn you bonus points on here, trust me.
Keep working at it.