Re: a comment on Math Poem 3 by Dovina	3-Jan-05/10:43 PM
How do you pronounce "lea"?
Re: a comment on Dear Will, by DarkThirteens	3-Jan-05/10:40 PM
That is, indeed, no excuse. If you now excuse yourself from your earlier excuse, you'll get a triple-word-score on "bum". Please, please, whatever you do, don't.
Re: a comment on Math Poem 3 by Dovina	2-Jan-05/4:47 AM
Except, of course, that "x / x/3" equals 1/3, wherever you put spaces. You meant "x/(x/3) = 3"
Re: Math Poem 3 by Dovina	1-Jan-05/10:20 PM
This is the best poem you've ever written. I'm serious.
Re: a comment on Mallard by richa	1-Jan-05/10:17 PM
I got lost, what "disparity" does chimera imply? Welcome back.
Re: a comment on Elopement by Sasha	1-Jan-05/10:15 PM
It only reflected smaller. It refracted magnified.
Re: a comment on 38 Lines by auscot	1-Jan-05/10:13 PM
What kind of poetry website are you reading poems on? Obviously, you haven't yet seen gems like http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=64816
Re: a comment on Betwixt and In Between by dougsoderstrom	1-Jan-05/10:10 PM
Oh............. thanks. A few more questions, if you don't mind. I'll do nice ones this time, promise. 1) Your university let you get away with a dissertation called "Religious Orientation and Meaning in Life"? No offense, but that sounds like an Exit Essay by a rather precocious 8th grader. 1a) Did you write it in the seventies, or are you a latecomer to grad school and New Agey gobble? 2) Bunk. I know because I'm a Christian Humanist from way back and you're nothing like me. 3) What did you call yourself before you were Doug Soderstom, Ph.D.? 4) Regarding your #4 above, will you be deleting this poem now? 5) I live in the Middle East. Is there any way you can just scan your dissertation and post it on the net? Barring that, can I see highlights? Even the abstract would be killer. As always, your friend in Christ, zodiac, M.A., B.A.^2, CPR, LG, BD, PCV, SCA, visiting lecturer on Islam Retardation at the Al-Karak Center for Self-Care and Care, Waseya, Jordan 2 Jan 2005
Re: a comment on My Wife by Dovina	1-Jan-05/9:50 PM
I'm not trying to give you a hard time, but I think you'd do better writing something that is not so overtly sexist, or changing this one so it isn't so. That's all.
Re: My Wife by Dovina	29-Dec-04/10:42 PM
The sentence that begins "It's the escape I get..." is not grammatical. You have to take out the "and" to make it right. "groomed" and "trained" in the second stanza seem weird. At least, it doesn't seem obvious that she trained you to groom yourself. Also, by the time you get to "it took her years to teach", you've too many adjective clauses. It was really pretty good up to that point. Then it gets heavy-handed at the "spiritual emptiness" part. People blather on about showing or telling or whatever, but what they're really getting at a lot of the time is that it's just not likely your narrator is so self-aware. So instead he burns the dinner or forgets her name or something, to show how he's like subconsciously spiritually empty (or whatever). It would work a lot better than that whole third stanza. Actually, I'd like it better ended after the second bit. Or I could think it was really good, changed only very slightly. Out of curiosity: Do you consider yourself a feminist?
Re: a comment on California triolets by zodiac	29-Dec-04/10:32 PM
Just out of curiosity, what in your opinion is the best line ever written by ee cummings?
Re: a comment on Betwixt and In Between by dougsoderstrom	29-Dec-04/10:29 PM
Surely this is an example of your Buddho-Tao Confuscist Humanist Christian-Luddo-Zenist "not doing anything". However, it's totally crap. I'm calling the Doctors' Commission - Ph.D. Revocation Sector. Your days are numbered, buddy. And don't you ever suspect you might just be too lazy to 1) accept that the world is an illusion, and a disciplined pursuit of enlightenment through fasting and meditation is the only way to Paradise (a la, a real Buddhist)? AND, 2) accept that Jesus Christ, either by death or example, saved humanity from primal sin, and God-love and emulation through self-sacrifice and otherwise good deeds are the only ways to Paradise (a la, a real Christian)? AND, 3) accept that the saving action of humans regularly acting somewhat decently toward other humans is the only thing keeping us from extinction (a la, a real Humanist)? AND, 4) bother about the level of clarity and discipline required in attaining some zen-like state? In short, total bum. You could be sitting on your couch in your underwear watching Happy Days and call yourself a 'Buddhuist-oriented Christian Humanist who would like to be in a Zen state of perpetual "letting be."' It sounds like something people say while beating or ignoring their kids, which is the worst thing people can do and makes angels cry. As regards being too big to answer my questions (as that's surely how you see yourself,) the fuck you are, running around the internet begging for anybody you can find to tell you no, it ISN'T a sin for you to get off by whemying. Pal, the person who does that is not too big for anything. You left your shame at the coat check, now answer my fucking questions. 12) Does it ever bother you that the only way you can go through life without your head exploding is by refusing to answer any point that bothers you or contradicts your Neo-Christian-Super-Zen Knockingism or whatever? Oh, no, wait. That would only be if you allowed yourself to answer one of those nagging questions. Well, good work, buddy!!!!!!!!1!!!!1!!1!1!1!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, zodiac PS-To answer YOUR questions: No, no one else does it except you. Yes, it is a sin in every sense of the word. Yes, your also gay. -SHAME-
Re: a comment on Betwixt and In Between by dougsoderstrom	29-Dec-04/4:24 AM
Are you mentally retarded? For one thing, this isn't Dovina's string, it's mine. And I see you haven't even done me the courtesy of answering my questions. To recap the high points: Q: 'Doing nothing' "made all the difference" from what? Do you mean to say you know how your life would have turned out if instead of doing nothing you'd decided to, say, whemy yourself blind - so that you were able to measure the "difference" between the two outcomes? You're confused. Here are examples: 1) Doug Soderstrom, Ph.D., does nothing. 2) Doug Soderstrom, Ph.D., buys a lottery ticket and wins $1,000,000. Difference: $1,000,000 minus the cost of the lottery ticket, to say the least. Of course knowing the difference requires that Doug, Ph.D., know both outcomes. To wit, suppose instead that he just bought the lottery ticket and won the million. He might say, "Jesus! Just imagine if I'd done nothing. I wouldn't have won the million dollars. Buying the lottery ticket made all the difference." Of course, he'd probably use a lot more ellipses, but you get the point. And of course he's wrong. He could have being doing nothing and just happened to find $1,000,000 under his couch. Then buying the lottery ticket or doing nothing would have made no difference. HE JUST DOESN'T FUCKING KNOW. And of course, you didn't think about any of this. You just half remembered Robert Frost's much better poem and lifted the line whole. Well get this, buddy: Robert Frost didn't say "Taking the road less traveled made all the difference"; He said, "I'll say, 'Taking the road less traveled made all the difference', because I'm a bum." You said, "Doing nothing made all the difference." Do you get the distinction? I bet not. As regards your aboveposted comment, you're dangerously wrong. Please, please for the love of God give it up. And answer my fucking questions or I'll whemy you into nonexistence, I swear. Love, zodiac
Re: Math Poem 2 by Dovina	29-Dec-04/4:09 AM
Balls.
Re: a comment on Writer's Block by Bhaskaryya	29-Dec-04/3:59 AM
Fingering would indeed be decent, as used in the phrases "The police informant fingered an innocent Negro" or "You should see the way Jeremi Handrinos fingers his bassoon." However, I meant fingering in the indecent sense. Who in the world wants to be decent, anyway? Certainly not Liz Bishop.
Re: Betwixt and In Between by dougsoderstrom	28-Dec-04/4:42 AM
What the hell. It's just too fun. "Doug Soderstrom, Ph.D. from Wharton, Texas writes: Dear Aaron: I left the message below on your site dealing with bathroom behavior. I don't know if you would be willing to do such a thing, but, if possible, it would sure be nice if you would be willing to include a question or two "on whemying" on your survey of bathroom behavior. It is something I have been thinking a lot about for the past few years, but, as a psychologist, I cannot get anyone to take me seriously. It is a really crazy topic, but wouldn't it be wonderful to discover something brand new about human behavior! By the way I am an INTP also!!! So if you would, please take the time to e-mail me in regards to how you might be able to help me in regards to researching the phenomenon of "whemying." Please read and respond! I have developed a term for a phenomonen that I refer to as "Whemying." This phenonmonen refers to "the holding in of feces for a few minutes (from two to three minutes up to perhaps as long as a half hour or so) in order to experience the good feelings associated with fecal matter (usually referred to as "a turd") as it stimulates the nerves of the rectum and, perhaps as well, places pressure upon (in the case of males) the prostate gland." The "whemying feeling" comes and goes every few minutes as the fecal matter stimulates the nerves and leads to some really good feelings "something akin to an orgasm." I would like to know if any of you out there ever engage in such a phenomenon, or perhaps know of someone who does such a thing. If so please e-mail me at dougsod@wcjc.cc.tx.us My feeling is that children, as well as some adults, do such a thing, but never talk about it (the fact of their whemying), because it would be such a horribly embarrassing thing to admit to! I really do want to find out if people do such a thing as "whemying," so if you have any information about this, please do let me know. Thank you very much. Doug Soderstrom, Ph.D. Psychologist" Your all aces. -10-
Re: Betwixt and In Between by dougsoderstrom	28-Dec-04/4:33 AM
You are the most wrong person I've ever encountered. Questions: 1) Where did you get your doctorate? I looked online for a while, then I just decided to ask you. 1a) Was it one of "those" colleges? 1b) Did you just decide to call yourself "Doug Soderstrom, Ph.D."? 2) On what existing philosophical or religious tradition do you base your beliefs in both telepathy (http://tinyurl.com/3m62x) AND the phenomenon (note correct spelling) of "whemying" (http://tinyurl.com/55duc)? 3) How can a professed DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY not be cripplingly ashamed of posting something so megabuncombe as this so-called poem? 4) And anyway, "that has made all the difference" from what? How did you know? 4a) Do you think "betwixt" and "in between" have distinct meanings? What are they? 5) Did your grad school not check spelling or punctuation? 6) Can I see your dissertation? 7) Are you not colossally gay and a little inflated by your ubiquitous bumblings on cheap Episcopal websites and online op-ed pages, both of which being the kind that advertise the South Beach Diet when you open them? 7a) Did you know what "ubiquitous" meant before just now? 8) Do you think that's what real Ph.D.s do? 8a) Or websites, for that matter? 9) If I were you, I'd blender my own arm. I know this isn't a question. 10) How do you explain other poemranker users to yourself, especially that they trump your poems every time you come back despite not having Ph.D.s like you do? 10) And incidentally, how would a Ph.D. instructor in Psychology at a respectable learning institution with real classes describe the condition of coming back to poemranker after your last trumping? Make sure to use the terms "colossally gay" and "just plain sad" in your answer. (1 mark each)
Re: Writer's Block by Bhaskaryya	28-Dec-04/3:40 AM
The point of a sestina is to use the repeated words differently every time. You don't. Suggestion: use "fingers" as a verb at least once. -NO VOTE UNTIL YOU DO- PS-Don't argue. You don't know about sestinas. I do.
Re: a comment on I have Learned to Let Go by Joe-joe	26-Dec-04/5:00 AM
No. I'm upset because I don't much like you. Two days back and you're already bumming on about... I don't know what exactly. -:-(-
Re: a comment on I have Learned to Let Go by Joe-joe	26-Dec-04/4:58 AM
If you didn't think it was a contradiction, there'd be no point in your posting the comment. I'm willing to grant there was no point. Of course they're different. But if you believe 1) you necessarily believe 2). That's the part you didn't get. Now you'll say you do. Wrong, you still don't.