regarding some deleted poem...	19-Mar-04/8:12 PM
This could be a Reader's Digest "Drama in Real Life." -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Mar-04/6:06 AM
I think this is a real improvement over your earlier posts. Really. A few of the lines surprised me, made me think. But I'm worried that the whole idea behind this is a lie, or at best an after-the-fact justification. I wish this poem had been about something else besides regretting having sex with someone, that's all.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Mar-04/6:14 AM
Good poem, and some really good lines. I would mix up the almost unvaried adjective-noun formula that you have here, which got a little predictable, by dropping the adjectives in front of a few more nouns and doubling up on a few more. Maybe make some of them into appositives or something, like: Tangerine whale swims the skies, a farfetched tale in streaks radiant as ________ she flies like a stroke bold-splashed, dream of orange pale like ________ smashed on an indigo canvas stretched wide. When the sunset paints a new tide she lets herself fall. That part's pretty nice, too.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Mar-04/3:27 PM
Maybe I'm giving this more attention than you care for, but some of it is a little oddly worded. 'Gee I hate to cause alarm' must refer to the first line, not the third and fourth - that's a little confusing. 'And have as yet not' is a mouthful. I can't think of how to re-word it, though. Sorry I can't be more help; it's a cute little rhyme.
Re: Puritans by zodiac	20-Mar-04/3:34 PM
Oh, and thanks, richa, for letting me try out your style. I couldn't work in any woodland animals, though. Or A#P#P#L#E#S.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Mar-04/3:45 PM
I can't think of much to say about this. Probably because I'm currently pretty sloshed on Gin, Yuengling B&T, and gasoline fumes. And yet I find I lack the clarity and self-awareness to say, as you so presciently have, 'Gee I'm sure a drunk, drinking away items A, B, and C for reasons X, Y, and Z'. But then, I live in a huge cabin with a view of Cold Mountain, work twenty hours a week in a job that mostly involves checking poemranker at fifteen-minute intervals, and drink all day mainly because it makes checking poemranker and sex with my wife more fun. Why else would I do it? -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Mar-04/3:56 PM
I just saw a bunch of stuff here I hadn't before. Talk about not seeing rhyme... And those weird in-between stanzas ("They break from the sea...") just get me somehow. I'd still consider next time watching out for similar grammatical constructions. -10-
Re: Snow Day by Standby	20-Mar-04/3:59 PM
God sees you, child. -0-
Re: Puritans by zodiac	20-Mar-04/5:06 PM
Rhyme/intentional-line-break code: AB-BCCD-ABCD-A. Why don't you look it up, -=Dark_Angel=-?
Re: The End of the Beginning by DarkThirteens	21-Mar-04/6:53 AM
The best part is the 'surprise' at the end, when you realise it's not real, it's just a dream.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Mar-04/8:27 AM
The ending of this just doesn't make sense. And congratulations on the first poetic use of the word 'bopped' by a caucasian.
Re: A Permanent Fixture by wilco	21-Mar-04/5:38 PM
I'll give this a 10 if you send me a tape recording of yourself reading it in a deep wizardy voice.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Mar-04/7:12 PM
I don't get _sheer_ adornments, but that's my only word-choice problem (though I'd love to see someone call oleander what it is for once: rhododendron.) I too have only the vaguest idea what it's about - some kind of forest spirit, I'd guess.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Mar-04/7:15 PM
"The best art clothes the truth," is a little twitchy. I'd at least reword it with clothes as a noun/metaphor/whatever.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Mar-04/8:34 AM
The only part of this which isn't sublime is "we are no more in the fields / that raised bohemia..." I think it's just too loud and heavy for such a whispered poem. Sounds like something you'd have to say in John Kerry's voice. "One must at least / build the wall they splash / with plaster" is great - a small voice.
Re: a long drive on an empty mind by caffrey	23-Mar-04/3:53 AM
This could stand the addition of about thirty verbs.
Re: Dissenting voice by richa	23-Mar-04/7:34 AM
Great! Whose is the quoted voice? I can't find these lines anywhere (but guess Brautigan, Hemingway, or your own - not that it matters, but I'm curious.) So - your style always amazes me.
Re: March Madness by jessicazee	23-Mar-04/8:55 AM
Besides the previous comments, the only thing wrong with this is the title.
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Mar-04/10:02 AM
En Mi, Tu Estás…(Español) En mi corazón, pienso en tu tocar, (ie, I think of your [guitar] playing, or -) En mi corazón, mis pensamientos de tí jugar, (my thoughts of you play) En mi cabeza, estoy más o menos triste, En mi vida, no tengo un amor, En mi cama, te quiero y no sé. (don't you mean, and YOU don't know - y no sabes?) Cuando pienso en tí, yo sonrío, Cuando te miro, yo quiero más, Cuando escribo de tí, tú eres mío, Y siempre, nos vemos atrás. Báñame en tus ojos azules, Tómame en tus brazos fuertes, Bésame con todos mirándonos, Y suena siempre de nosotros. Escríbeme con tu bolígrafo, Tócame; venga aquí ahora, Buscando mi novio; mirandolo, Después, yo necesito ésta. (or yo necesito estar.) -20 = D-. And don't let me catch you sleeping in class again.
Re: Quiet Lakes by Fear of Garbage	23-Mar-04/11:13 AM
Cocaine = cocaine; liquer = liquor; the punctuation between wrists, jewels, and I live is a little shaky; 'I smell of a lake' made me laugh - how about 'I smell like a lake' (or even better, 'I smell like lake _____' - water, maybe.) 'The secrets; they keep within them Their bodies,' is also poorly punctuated. I think it should end with bodies. Or a better lake image than your closing one.