Re: a comment on of people and places (final cut)I by INTRANSIT	17-Dec-02/2:40 PM
I'm not saying the question is necessarily the best idea, but I liked it more than what he changed it to. The current stanza feels stoic and purely academic, like I'm in class and the teacher's asking me to pay attention. It doesn't work for me with respect to the idea behind the poem. I think there is a better alternative, What do you think?
Re: I Can Write A Wrong, But I Can't Right A Poem by horus8	17-Dec-02/2:34 PM
I have to bring you my copy of PLAY WITHOUT A TITLE by GarciaLorca. Don't let me forget. You always know how.
Re: Misplaced admoration by deep-as-a-puddle	17-Dec-02/2:29 PM
Your poem has been fataly wounded by rhyme.
Re: a comment on of people and places (final cut)I by INTRANSIT	17-Dec-02/2:25 PM
I liked the question better than what you changed it to.
Re: of people and places (final cut)I by INTRANSIT	17-Dec-02/2:24 PM
Theecond stanza's beautiful. I almost wish you could leave out the last stanza, but something needs to be said. could you come up with a metaphor? What were you looking at/thinking of when you wrote this?
Re: a comment on fire by bxjay170	17-Dec-02/2:20 PM
In fact it may be argued that we are the only animals who question the morality/immorality of killing.
Re: fire by bxjay170	17-Dec-02/2:17 PM
shouldn't it be 'slip out their hands...' by the way we are not the only animals who kil for pleasure. Eatings a pleasure, and fuckings a pleasure, and so is being #1.
Re: a comment on alienheart by Bill Z Bub	13-Dec-02/9:56 PM
Good questions boy, but right now I have to go help an old lady get into bed. I'll tackle you tomorrow, sometime after noon. I am the TEEVEE generation. 6 yrs old 12" from the black and white, I watched us walking. On the moon. I saw a Kennedy shot not once but twice.
Re: a comment on Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	13-Dec-02/2:10 PM
I would like to get tight with Zzinnia, that would loads of fun I'm certain. Can you pick me up where the 60 and the 605 meet, then drop me of and Zzinni's barn? I'll bring some 40 yr. old scotch and home-made empanadas. She can let me in on all the secrets.
Re: Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	13-Dec-02/8:34 AM
I'm still not sure what all the metaphors represent.
Re: Corny. by Plasticgirlwithgun	13-Dec-02/8:29 AM
Yeah, there is nothing cornier then a pierced septum!!??? Not to mention more poetic. why don't you get his name tattooed across the back of your neck.
Re: Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	12-Dec-02/5:05 PM
Is this a much smaller version? It seems to have lost some of it's emotion. Take out "while on another front". Can you images to create the shift in direction?
Re: a comment on Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	12-Dec-02/5:02 PM
I meant gullible in the most flattering sense of the word! Your innocent and authentic. You're not some poetry poser like the rest of us. Chivalry is not dead, Chivalry is not dead, Chivalry is not dead. Please help me Intransit, you're my only hope.
Re: a comment on Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	12-Dec-02/1:21 AM
You push to far. Stop making fun of the poor kid just because you've got cupcakes and factory sealed potato-chips, while he's got lunch-vouchers. I know you know what I mean, otherwise you wouldn't know how to be so cruel. Good-night, kiss the baby for me.
Re: a comment on Transformers "a higher, vaster, deeper meaning". by Bachus	12-Dec-02/1:16 AM
You think you deserve a trust fund just because you want one. Sure you talk the talk when you need to. I fear the whole world is sarting to believe you, don't forget I'm on your side. Be glad I'm on your side. I guess on nights like this you know who your friends are. I'm going to bed. Stop trying so hard. You're the best there is.
Re: a comment on Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	12-Dec-02/1:08 AM
It's not about lying down, and it's not about drinks. Haven't I made clear my Love? It's about kindness.
Re: Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	12-Dec-02/12:58 AM
You're moving along darlink! This piece is quite dark for someone so gullible. Will you marry me? 18-wheel me away from these hooligans? You can tie wood blocks to my shoes, and show me where the gears are. I'll drive, you'll write. Order me a pancake.
Re: Danse by Limness	12-Dec-02/12:33 AM
Get rid of 'it's sway' most importantly, also telling me you will tell me in some other poem turned my switch straight to off. Rough draft?
Re: a comment on Transformers "a higher, vaster, deeper meaning". by Bachus	12-Dec-02/12:22 AM
Rat King, of course.
Re: a comment on alienheart by Bill Z Bub	12-Dec-02/12:18 AM
Is that so wrong??? He's 6 foot even. The beard makes him look rough, nasty. It's easier with the boy if he's not here in the morning. Joey likes pancakes, for my love it's oatmeal.