| Re: a comment on Babelfish Poetry (VI): les Graines de Notre Fin (Français) by Geschäftsreise |
15-Sep-03/5:13 PM |
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The tongues are indispensible. Otherwise it's 'cheese' without the 'tom'.
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| Re: a comment on sitting at the cliff's edge by nentwined |
15-Sep-03/4:48 PM |
(nod) By the way, I've been thinking about this last stanza and the more I say it in my mind the more I love it:
the interjection of humour about getting near the edge of the cliff subtly adds a warmth and depth to the whole scene that is indispensible:
It is done in such a coy way (inserted into a solemn repetition) that is almost strong enough to oppose your claim of longing - leaving the reader with a sense of 'grinning nostalgia' for lack of a better term.
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| Re: playing the scratching game by nentwined |
15-Sep-03/11:02 AM |
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But if I scratch off too many I won't win the free medium drink!
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| Re: a comment on sitting at the cliff's edge by nentwined |
15-Sep-03/8:44 AM |
5/6 of this is (obviously) yours
1/6 had not been put into words before
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| Re: sitting at the cliff's edge by nentwined |
15-Sep-03/12:04 AM |
Normally I avoid sentimentality (especially in poetry), but this poem must be good because it reminded me of the once upon a time upon a cliff's edge (I hope you will not be insulted by a crude harmony to your melody):
sitting at the cliff's edge,
I muse
that there is where I went
with my lover
when lover she was
and we could imagine ourselves alone
but for a horse
A fitting chaperone
for this lonely castle wall.
and alone we'd be together and together
the world would fade
and all that would be was the two of us
and the rocks and the sea and a hundred gulls
mocking our affection
and now the rocks and sea and windy gusts
only in my thoughts remain
and dying these dreams
(or close enough)
but one remains
(or close enough)
to be near that edge,
(or close enough)
I long for you and Scotland.
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| Re: a comment on These are not just words by impert&ent |
14-Sep-03/11:18 PM |
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I woose more weaders that way...
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| Re: These are not just words by impert&ent |
14-Sep-03/10:29 PM |
I couldn't agree more with your sentiment (my babelfish poetry may entertain you if you feel this way).
However if I were to focus on your phrasing I would say that words can and are meant to persuade as well as convey. Otherwise what are salesmen?
But the last stanza is gorgeous, and even more than that - it is a passionate truth.
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| Re: a comment on Babelfish Poetry (V): 容æãªæè (Japanese) by Geschäftsreise |
14-Sep-03/1:52 PM |
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You must download japanese language support for your browser in order to see the characters.
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| Re: a comment on Plastic is Forever by http://mulberryfairy |
13-Sep-03/11:05 PM |
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Please forgive me I am new. You must be the same person as this supremebeaner, supremedreamer, and The third isis, as well as being baphomet. Why do you critique poetry without critiquing it?
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| Re: Plastic is Forever by http://mulberryfairy |
13-Sep-03/11:02 PM |
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This poem has an interesting tension between 1.) being marketed 'fun' (plus the narrator's friend's ability to enjoy it in spite of the commercialization) and 2.) Your apparent objective indifference to (or even slight critique of) the whole thing.
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| Re: a comment on Babelfish Poetry (IV): Hablaré en pensamientos (Español) by Geschäftsreise |
13-Sep-03/9:09 PM |
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Basta con la mota. Lea por favor el poema antes de darle un número.
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| Re: Giger cider by grendal |
12-Sep-03/9:43 AM |
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i enjoyed this (the arbitrary list of ingredients and the final justification could be reworked in order to make this a serious poem)
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| Re: canto di desiderio by Bill Z Bub |
7-Sep-03/9:59 PM |
Credo che dovrte rimuovere la traduzione. Coloro che non capisce che l'italiano sarà costretto per soffrire la nebbia di babelfish e coloro che capisce l'italiano riterranno lo scopo progettato.
Forse è migliore senza la traduzione (ma molto elegante)
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| Re: a comment on Babelfish Poetry (I): A pérola (Português) by Geschäftsreise |
7-Sep-03/5:19 PM |
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Eu sei exatamente a parcela do livro que você está consultando a...
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| Re: a comment on Babelfish Poetry (II): Rendu plus Doux (Français) by Geschäftsreise |
7-Sep-03/5:14 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Babelfish Poetry (II): Rendu plus Doux (Français) by Geschäftsreise |
7-Sep-03/5:13 PM |
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exactement. parlé avec l'esprit vrai.
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| Re: a comment on Babelfish Poetry (III): Segen (Deutsch) by Geschäftsreise |
7-Sep-03/5:10 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Babelfish Poetry (III): Segen (Deutsch) by Geschäftsreise |
7-Sep-03/5:05 PM |
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Ich bin nicht skrupulös, irgendwelche dieser Umhänge zu behaupten.
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| Re: a comment on (untitled) by http://bandgeek |
7-Sep-03/12:14 PM |
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Ich spreche keine Sprache. Es gibt nur Gedanken. Der ist mein Punkt - es gibt keine Untreue in meinen Gedanken und folglich in meiner Sprache.
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| Re: a comment on Babelfish Poetry (I): A pérola (Português) by Geschäftsreise |
7-Sep-03/10:35 AM |
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