regarding some deleted poem...	5-Apr-02/5:31 PM
I like what you have to say here and for the most part find no fault in how you say it. The one place where I stumbled was at the end: "The choice is your to make" -- I couldn't find the rhythm of it. and you mistyped "And if my" -> "And if by"? sorry I haven't written in the bit where you can edit your poems yet...
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Apr-02/5:34 PM
this didn't do nearly as much for me. Intellectually, the rhyme scheme was interesting, but I couldn't get into it or the rhythm much. It felt more forced, less real... I felt it less.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Apr-02/5:39 PM
sorry, really couldn't get into this. the questions just don't strike me. fairly well written, but not for me, I suppose. Also, it felt less poetic and more like a prose rant. I can see it, spoken, as having some sort of rhythm forced into it, but I couldn't find it read.
Re: Greeny nature by chigurukala	5-Apr-02/5:41 PM
I'm afraid I don't get this at all. Each of the lines I can take individually, and I suppose there's a single image presented, but the image doesn't do anything for me... I don't understand why I'm being presented the image, if I'm supposed to take meaning from it or enjoy it or... [I don't find beauty in it to enjoy...]
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Apr-02/5:48 PM
definitely melodramatic. :) I think it would have worked really nicely for me just starting at "If I could love you[...]", and ending -- I would have found it a lot more powerful. As is, not bad, but I stumble through the beginning a bit much. [and it's "yours" not "your's" (== your is)]
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Apr-02/5:53 PM
I'm afraid I really couldn't get into this. It's pretty and I can feel the old bones and wrinkles, but I didn't get the overall meaning of it. And "a run royal" stumbled my reading something fierce.
Re: Impatience always backfires 913 by notule	5-Apr-02/11:15 PM
I liked some of the individual bits but not the sum of the pieces.
Re: Have you ever heard of William Carlost Williams 24 by notule	5-Apr-02/11:15 PM
24 or 33? [confusion all around?]
Re: Gypsy by roses are read	6-Apr-02/8:08 PM
very pretty. As a poem, I'd like more substance/explanation of what's being described... as a song, well, I want to hear the music, but I almost can -- it's very pretty. very, very pretty. :)
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Apr-02/3:24 PM
Unfortunately, the title "Grimace" brought to mind the McDonalds character of the same name (big purple guy). With that said, I really couldn't get into it. The first part felt... awkwardly ethereal. It didn't mean much to me, the first two lines saying everything the next six did in slightly different ways (though perhaps those differences were very important to the poem, I didn't get how). I also had problems with the second stanza, partially an inability to understand what was being said, and partially the flow/rhythm (I couldn't find one).
Re: Question of the day by PooP	7-Apr-02/3:24 PM
Pbtbtbtbtbbtbt.
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Apr-02/9:10 AM
I really like this, and as it's in the top ten (and based on its comments) other folks do, too. Would you have any interest in submitting it to a magazine? (has it been published?) NFG (http://nfg.ca) is looking for some good poetry of any sort. :)
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Apr-02/9:29 AM
hmm. the double chorus is kinda weird (a bit much repetition for me). I REALLY like one image (in each smoking body you're seeking a door). The rest are somewhat bland or confusing. It would probably still make a good song, though.
Re: Smaller by Modulo	11-Apr-02/9:31 AM
I love how you packed the word "minimalism" into a haiku. I'm not sure what I think of the title being required as a lead-in, though.
Re: High Speed College Life by Modulo	11-Apr-02/9:31 AM
definitely one of my favorites. :)
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Apr-02/10:45 AM
sweet but could definitely use an edit or two. The rhymes seem forced in several places, some of the grammar seems accidentally wrong (i wasted time on feeling like shit), and a lot of apostrophes are missing. Cutting a bit of text could help.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Apr-02/9:05 PM
I can feel this lyrically, or at least spoken-word. it has a hard and percussive force. two lines cause me problems, rhythmically: "senseless and mindless, anger's existence so base" and "The choice is yours to make, you will or you won't" actually reminds me of an album I have, a song called "Flock of Pteradactyls" (in rhythm). the theme/message I find less interesting than the rest. I find myself drawn into the beat without really getting the words. when I sit down and force myself to read the words... I feel that I could be admonished somehow more plainly, that the mental power of the poem is dragging behind the primal beat.
Re: Starving by ifni	12-Apr-02/5:19 PM
I was *so* glad you said "smile without smirking" instead of "smile without smiling". Overall, beautiful. I didn't like "your joy resounds" -- it didn't feel like it went with the rest of the poem.
Re: in love with jane doe by crin	12-Apr-02/5:22 PM
I like bits and pieces of this poem immensely, if those could just be picked out and put in a proper frame... "Your eyes are the eeriest shade of pure pale green" actually... I really *don't* like "your eyes are more beautiful than the universe" -- too simple, too easy, doesn't say anything. Then the next stanza seems to fumble and not really connect to the end of the poem. The end (you're shattered glass ... if only I could be so luck) I like. I just need a better understanding of the situation, the middle needs... otherness and explanation, for me.
Re: Ifni's birthday by Cha no Onna	12-Apr-02/11:25 PM
:rofl: hilarious! :) haiku. :)