Re: A Dangling Poo by zodiac	31-Mar-04/8:37 PM
I can imagine cheerleaders singing this at ShitFest, Anus Parade, or the Fecal Olympics. This is lovely, spectacular, and amazing compared to the cheers spouted at a brain-numbing highschool football game. Grade A Turd Material, Shit-Crumpet approved, worthy of a ten. Be proud, and stand with the honor befitting a Shit-Head.
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	31-Mar-04/8:16 PM
Now thats a bit silly to ask, he's been here for a few years.. two I think- a wicked long time in any case, one the first bunch of bastards to become a member perhaps.
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	31-Mar-04/8:09 PM
Its not a question of arousal you toilet-impared freak! Its a question of duty- your despicable acts of terror and ability to stir conflict make you an essential part of this cursed Ranker Existence. Must I deprive you of your wheel-chair as some sick form of motivation? Perhaps embalm you rotting flesh with feces? Resort to chemical stimulation? Do you suggest I actually endure this ranker life of mine without you to make it interesting and give me plenty of good opportunities to upset the peace of the ranker with acts of retardation? How depraved can you be you crippled shit-crumpet!?
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	31-Mar-04/7:54 PM
Well, its true that alot of posts have used ass humor and the shit that comes out of the almighty ass, so I understand what you mean. (DA perfected the art of writing about shit, course you've probably read those, if not I recommend reading them; he pioneered the art of writing about shit, or thats what I'm lead to believe.) But I just had to make a contribution of somesort to "Ass Poetics".. I felt it was the next step after my Golden Shower piece lol.
Re: a comment on A wicked rose grows in God's grapevine. by SupremeDreamer	31-Mar-04/7:33 PM
Structurally? Well I can't see where you'd get that either, might have been a figment of your imagination lol. But revision will hopefully fix the problems I have with the piece.. honestly I wasn't that satisfied with it when I posted it.
Re: a comment on A wicked rose grows in God's grapevine. by SupremeDreamer	31-Mar-04/7:28 PM
Well, I mentioned the wind just to set the scene, but I could have done that better aswell. As for some of my references being cliche, your somewhat correct- but im trying to get an idea across, and also allow the reader some flexibility in regards to interpretation. In other words, some slight amount of cliche in is better than having my verse becoming incomprehensible. Never-the-less the poem will be rewritten so it won't be confused with my ode "My Love, Futility", so I'll also fix up those cliche(s) you mentioned to the best of my ability. Thanks for your input, always appreciated.
Re: a comment on A wicked rose grows in God's grapevine. by SupremeDreamer	31-Mar-04/6:58 PM
Er, now before I go into a seemingly defensive posture, I want you to know that my rebuttal is not in response to your assesment of the poems quality, but to its theme/subject. My last poem was a mockery of most folks need to feel empowered and in control, etc, and of some of the things people do to feel in control and not utterly helpless and insignificant. The piece above deals with the metaphysical, another affront to the concept of theism- specifically theistic use of forgiveness, theism's definition of morality and its use as a strict guideline for avoiding suffering. It also expresses my take on morality/sin/ and self-improvement of the spirit/mind. Course, that was my INTENTION to have the poem express all that, but its obvious that I've failed horribly- and that is why I agree with you when you say its not well done, and I can see how you got the idea that my ode and this poem were the same. (the third quotation in particular is probably where I screwed myself..) Its backs to the drawing board with this piece. Thanks for your comment- you made it clear to me that the poem is crippled, and is in dire need of repair.
Re: Over Simplification by Richard	31-Mar-04/12:38 PM
The beginning being more padded and the middle/ending more minimalistic makes this a bit of an odd read.. plus its a little vague how the stanzas relate to each other. Seems like you wanted to embellish the first stanza, then along the way got lazy. Its promising though, I think you could build this into ace material.. then again, thats just my opinion. A seven for now.
Re: a comment on Twilight Affair by thepinkbunnyofdoom	31-Mar-04/12:10 PM
Yes, isolation can cause a poets pen to mold and turn his beard crusty, and his verse limp. Thats why a vacation from writing can relieve creative impotence.. heh. [Poeta! A new over-the-counter writing enhancer promises hard long verse long after the ink in your pen has dried up!] A novel is a lot harder to accomplish, since it requires extensive writing, a solid build-up, plot, etc.. Its a huge step from prose,poetry, or short-stories. Not to belittle you, but I think you decided to leap across a canyon that your furry feet don't have the muscle needed to make it across. (Atleast not with the first or second jump.) But eventually you'll pull through.. novel creation takes time, so benefit from a break. :) I'll be looking forward to your return you little fuzzy beast.
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	31-Mar-04/11:44 AM
At least I don't have the pleasure of owning feces-encrusted wings from AnusVille!!!
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	31-Mar-04/11:43 AM
Now thats weak. And Incorrect. -Uranus Wins!-
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	30-Mar-04/7:32 PM
He's slacking off.. honestly, it used to be battle after battle, golden wings flapping (a temporary scar which i earned on a few occasions by annoying the general good folk of ranker, but more specifically the dark one from neptune's anus!) debate of serious tone and babble so inane it would puzzle even Jesu himself... it was glorious. But now that winged curse is lazy, resigning himself to quick short spurts such as "bow'ls". It has only fueled my contempt for him and all his kind.. but that will be expressed fully later in a comic series called "Darkie vs. Dunce-Jester!!" Who knows.. maybe marvel will make it into a fucking movie.
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	30-Mar-04/7:24 PM
Pay no heed.. my comments are full of drama intermixed with innumerous online personalities. And -Anal Discharge-
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	30-Mar-04/3:44 PM
Anal Discharge.
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	30-Mar-04/1:52 PM
Well I haven't talked or poked fun at that lil furry beast in I don't know how many months.. and when the fuck have any comment or action of mine on rankerville been anything other than "weird"... I'll have you know that its my ranker M.O. to the extreme. But one should worry if a highschool reunion takes place here in ranker-ville.. I despise any congregation which relates to the horror of goverment-run education.
Re: Twilight Affair by thepinkbunnyofdoom	30-Mar-04/1:37 PM
I think this piece would benefit from a good edit.. it looks to me that you've spilled emotion rather than crafted a decent piece. Dull use of language also.. you don't want to have a poem come off as over-emotional. But it does offer something to work with. No vote for now.
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	30-Mar-04/1:28 PM
Have you emerged from your lil rabbit hole?! Did you finish your novel? Have you returned or are you simply visiting, soon to start hopping quickly away into the forest of "The Unshaved Pine Tree's"? Eh? As sentimental as this will appear, I am compelled to say this: I miss you, shithead. :)
Re: A country called Cha by richa	30-Mar-04/6:58 AM
In all honesty, this poem went beyond me leaky dome.. either its too abstract for me or it causes me to have a brain-fart, or I'm not applying my I.Q., therefor I shall refrain from voting.. perhaps you could explain it to me, most of your works I consider to be enjoyable mind benders, but every now and then I'm left feeling BENT.
Re: a comment on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer	30-Mar-04/6:52 AM
old hat, yes, and its intentional.. I had an urge to include diseased seed and such because I never really included that before in any of my earlier writings.. and oddly enough I've been spinning that idea for awhile in my drafty jester dome. I like that refrain too.. specially since I've been mumbling that to myself for three days, suddenly and for no reason.. ever had that happen to you? Then again I'm a freak with an odd genetic make-up. Oh, just wondering.. you think I took the proper speech a bit far? (I figured its good in an ode.. or maybe that belief of mine is based on inane & erroneous presumptions.. ah well, do tell me your thoughts of this.)
Re: Darkness Falls On Tenement Twelve by Mona Lisa	30-Mar-04/5:52 AM
Children have their innocence and purity for but a short while before the world arounds them feeds them the seed that sprouts their inner beast. I think you could compact this more and put more focus on the soul-searching, and less space travel. "The world orbits me here" That makes little or no sense since "orbit" generally means something around the lines of "to circle around an object after having been locked into that objects gravity.." Even if you can use orbit in the sense that you've used it in your poem, it still comes off as bad english to me. Blessed with seven.