Re: the mattress is a magnet by silvertongueddevil	3-Sep-02/8:38 AM
a warm and welcoming magnet indeed.
Re: Father O Father O Father of Fools by dougsoderstrom	3-Sep-02/8:43 AM
good imagery, but then some that disconnect/make no sense. why does sight require tight skin on the face? kindled twigs? what?
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Sep-02/8:45 AM
great idea, but tighten the language up. also, spine of cloud? spines are so strong, solid, not ethereal... seems too sharp a desription, although spine rings as support to me. dod you mean it thus?
Re: She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof	3-Sep-02/8:47 AM
funny to think of a benign medusa. funny to think that someone with looks so wild would worry what others think...
Re: Evensong by Nicholas Jones	3-Sep-02/8:50 AM
so disappointing, to want to find more, and see only the architecture of men. i could never find god in a church, except, one time, at yorkminster abbey, when i heard the choir rehearsing, and felt the breath of something MORE than me...but then it was gone... ah, i may have to write about that. thank you.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Sep-02/8:57 AM
yes, yes. got it all. many ways to see their flight across these lines. thankyouverymuch, mrs.g -z
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Sep-02/10:09 AM
ah, p&k, my old adversary--mybe he is moving way above my head. maybe i just think he's capable of more, and pointed out things i found weak in this piece. and, no, i don't think it's about ogling waitress cleavage or ABOUT the feeling in one's skin--these were observations i made about the state of the protagonist in this poem. what's up p&k? why so bristly?
Re: Black Heart by brazen	3-Sep-02/10:20 AM
well, almost. but i am a painter, and if i missed a stroke, i'd rub it out and repaint it or if it was dry by the time i saw it could be better, i'd overpaint it when it dried. michaelangelo repainted certain parts of the ceiling in the cistine chapel several time (esp. the hands of god and man); many many paintings upon examination (x-ray, cleaning) are found to have been changed from their original composition. this is what makes someone better--seeing how they can improve, and taking every opportunity to do so. i'm not trying to be 'right'; i recognize that you had something to say. if you feel like this was a learning piece, somnething to be looked back on as in, 'see how far i've come', why did you put it here? why not put up new experiments? and think on what others who actively write have to say? off the soapbox now.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Sep-02/10:39 AM
i'll agree to disagree with you, p&k. as a poem, i think it sags after 'but that's hours of drinking from now' (which, in my mind would make a great penultimate line to the 'sit back and wait for a happier hour' line he's got working for him now). the first 3 stanzas are t-i-g-h-t. i feel like the second half wanders off somewhere...perhaps to the men'sd room for a little relief? i did see what you were referring to, my dad is a superhero, so pardon me, i'm off to play shuffleboard.
Re: She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof	3-Sep-02/10:40 AM
hey, can i get in on this going-to-bed business? i'd not be missed...at least for a few hours, anyway.
Re: She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof	3-Sep-02/11:01 AM
maybe she'll--think of men waiting--to get in on it. personally, i prefer a higher man-to-woman ratio, but, what the hell.
Re: God's Rod (toilet drink poem) by horus8	3-Sep-02/1:05 PM
upon reading this again, i feel the pull of the flush, sucking me into the vortex, the void. alas, my left nipple is dry...
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Sep-02/5:21 PM
vite! vite! depechez-vous! donnez moi deux baguettes immediamente! un pour mon cher angel du noir, et un pour moi! (je pense q'amalea a perdu la boule...) bon soir! comment ca va? comment va tu? qu'est-qu'elle a dit?
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Sep-02/5:22 PM
hey no fair talking in foreign languages.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Sep-02/7:41 AM
you are right Christof; this one is still too close. i found out yesterday, at work, that a friend hadn't made it to the party on sunday because he passed away. no wonder he didn't return any phone calls.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Sep-02/7:51 AM
i have changed the poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Sep-02/7:59 AM
mrs.g, brazen, alexander: thanks. i took some of your suggestions, mrs. g. i like 'tells'; it's the way i use it, so i'm going to be stubborn and leave it. but i appreciate the help.
Re: Thorns by poetandknowit	4-Sep-02/12:48 PM
fuck it, h. if you're going to keep revealing our darkest secrets, i'm going to have to go back for some more electroshock. i know how much you liked it last time. you jess kepp yore little self still, and focused, on things that everyone enjoyed...cleaning up those smelly kneepads, for one
Re: Forbidden Love by beakism	4-Sep-02/9:03 PM
i think i'm in forbidden love!
Re: Zooidal Veldt by Wulf	4-Sep-02/9:11 PM
good idea, great conclusion. i'd like more punctuation to help facilitate understanding. even more, i'd like a solution