regarding some deleted poem...	3-Nov-03/8:22 AM
max, reading this, i thought you might enjoy it as well. http://www.blackbird.vcu.edu/v2n2/poetry/dubie_n/contents.htm z
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Nov-03/12:03 AM
sal-- the last stanza is beautiful. try to pare down the rest, and you'll have a gem
Re: Naylor's Handbag by Bobjim	7-Nov-03/6:18 PM
bravo, sir.
Re: Shouting at dogs by Bobjim	10-Nov-03/7:07 PM
you amuse me again, bobjim. thankee.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Nov-03/7:56 AM
did you come from NFG?
Re: The Turner Prize by Mona Lisa	19-Nov-03/8:45 AM
sums it up, all right.
Re: hall panful by skaskowski	19-Nov-03/8:49 AM
half great, all fun
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Nov-03/8:52 AM
funny.
Re: null by Bill Z Bub	19-Nov-03/11:32 AM
what did you delete?
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Nov-03/4:35 PM
5? i need 10!
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Nov-03/4:43 PM
don't be a fool! sympatriate, man!
Re: my hunger has become a hunger for revenge by nentwined	3-Dec-03/12:40 PM
and they'll have fun fun fun 'til her daddy burns her honda away....
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Mar-04/9:33 PM
but february made me shiver. with every paper i'd deliver. and, if you sart it out, "Dear March, " don't you need to end it, "Love, X"? And, Sal, do not get sucked in by the promises of March, or even those of April. Wait for My. An d then, slow everythng down until you can hear the grass bending. I t still might snow in May; I have seen it. bring thisone around.
Re: Take Four by NanceXToo	19-Apr-04/4:11 PM
nice acrobatics, sound-wise.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Apr-04/12:38 PM
"Skeletal flotsam - uncollected soul;" fix these sounds please. take the clicks out. the oceans doesn't click. not even bones click, in the ocean. the notion is great and i like the words together, but save them for another poem. the jarring rhythm works in 13 but keep it for 14 as well, SVP.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Apr-04/12:40 PM
i think you can do better than to mix the quaintness of the inversions with straight subject/verb/object.
Re: Thaw by <~>	21-Apr-04/2:35 PM
i have to go to a work-related activity right now, but i will be back. richa--think metaphors for nature. think parallel structures. think 'as above, so below' and all that that implies, structurally.
Re: Fulfillment by JohnnyRocker	22-Apr-04/9:30 PM
is it me, or is this shaped like the midsection of a man with a semi-flaccid erection?
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Apr-04/9:36 PM
hey sal, i like the feeling of this--it's escapist, and that really suits it. it's in your short lines where this weakens: to hear you sing. and None of them real. i find myself wanting the same beat in these two, because the rest of it has a lovely sing-songiness to it. the same with the ending-- look-and-feel. and sing for me. as i was reading it, i filled in the last line before i read it with 'make me real' instead of 'sing for me.' tht's what i want, but damn it's so cliche. there, now you have it--i'm a closet cliche-ist. i can see her eyes. funny, that. i don't remember her singing but i remember her smoking, and that dress. nice
Re: Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	22-Apr-04/10:35 PM
i feel...embrowned. excellent fun, this.