| Re: 2 from 6 by INTRANSIT |
18-Jan-03/11:13 AM |
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Ahhhh ha ha ha...you're insane! i haVE ABSOLutely no clue as to what in the hell this is about and it's right there in front of me... nice curve ball.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Jan-03/11:19 AM |
You should try and write a vilanelle. You are practically a third of the way there already.
I believe that this would look better with a couple of missing commas fixed a period at the end.
The title Capitalized and with a comma in it also. I would very much like to edit your work, possibly...I've read all of your poems.
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| Re: blues by <~> |
18-Jan-03/11:22 AM |
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| Re: Who Flamed Roger Rabbit? by poemwanker |
18-Jan-03/11:32 AM |
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"yer?" should be 'er' or yers forcing you to then go with butchers, which actually would make this better...i enjoyed it mostly. a funny ditty and witty but not like a three holed titty splittied six ways.
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| Re: she was a garden of roses by crin |
18-Jan-03/11:49 AM |
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"steel resolve" 'thorny resolve' might work better...some how the 'steel' image does not fit, and what would a rose poem be without thorns...que no?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
20-Jan-03/2:10 PM |
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You're right. Socialists don't need jackets. They have a unity groups warmth.
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| Re: The Chastisement of Cupid by Thyme |
20-Jan-03/2:13 PM |
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Yes, harder! old man, you understand not the mind of the dominant submissive..get to the end of the line. Next!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
20-Jan-03/8:27 PM |
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Have you read about WIMPs yet? They are these far out crazy particles in space that are microscopic but weigh like 5 tons, and can puncture/slice through a planet like a knife through butter. I'd rather play with one of those than a clit sometimes, i think it would be safer. A Quark nugget though, makes a comets/terra impact look vague in comparisson
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| Re: untitled (readjuster) by pomoxo |
20-Jan-03/8:36 PM |
Deleterious aye? Metal you say? Command? I see. Very well. Good one. Nice ending
I feel if you were to structure it like this:
The re-adjuster's come to town;
warmth collapses into my body.
I've got a shivering grin for
the evanescent sun that's flown in,
dropped by for a quick stint.
A joke it is, I'm laughing
behind my own composite,
He's tweaking me back into
the lucid rut, where I love
to glide and grudge;
the tangible flow of
yet-to-be-set concrete,
flashes of a bridge I knew,
a bridge I could have been
poured into-But, I'm static, evaporating frenetic
indentured to his land
of mirage fields that conceal deleterious metal,
and dissolute strands
of the dirt over which
I once had command
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| Re: Together Forever by Sarahmarie |
21-Jan-03/6:43 PM |
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Sarah....I think it's time i've come clean and just told you the truth..i love you, but..well..i'm a flaming queen. Can you find it in your heart, to let me wear your underwear too.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Jan-03/12:03 PM |
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Thanks..ahhh. for the flush.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Jan-03/12:06 PM |
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i laughed outloud openly to this...fuck! back to the drawing board. i hate you.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Jan-03/12:12 PM |
i can't stop laughing or reading this! FUCK..THIS is better than king missile's the fish that played the ponys and jesus is way cool, even detachable penis.
"when I noticed a sign nailed to the fence with some nails." brilliant
He seemed agitated. I pointed to the
sausage roll and told him there was no need to worry. He kept on
"shouting. I tried to ignore him, hoping he would just go away." lol.
this is the best thing i've read here..it would make a great short...i'm going to go play something now...you're my hero.
you know that right?
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| Re: Wild Child by crimzon |
26-Jan-03/6:35 PM |
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This is to poetry what the blue lagoon was to cinema?
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| Re: How can you? by alainna |
26-Jan-03/6:37 PM |
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When horus was putting his father osiris back together...he purposely lost the penis..changing the universe forever. Need as dust pan?<
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| Re: Nobody by Nicholas Jones |
27-Jan-03/11:51 AM |
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| Re: Coastal Path by Nicholas Jones |
27-Jan-03/11:57 AM |
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Finished in a rush, but i rather enjoyed how it started, and the wrenchings you applied to some of your articulationso
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| Re: Emergency by Nicholas Jones |
27-Jan-03/12:02 PM |
I don't agree with nentwined here.
This is probably the best sept 11th organic attempt at lucid poetics yet..here, that is..why? because it almost isn't..get it? think about that
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| Re: Lachrymalia by Lain |
27-Jan-03/1:44 PM |
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This poem is all over the place. A "renaissance of dust", if you will? 7.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
27-Jan-03/4:05 PM |
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he he hah. dust off. it was the dust off. must of been. yeah. wopner at seven. wopner at seven.
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