Re: Spare Change by andrewjthomas	12-Feb-04/8:31 AM
cryptic, clever, technically proficient and accomplished. Great
Re: a comment on Cecelia by Nicholas Monson	12-Feb-04/8:24 AM
Well, Mr Thomas, thank you. But what is wrong with missiles?Surely the preceeding hail and spearing rains are missiles? They certainly feel like it when they pound my body. Perhaps you have a tougher hide. Anyway I am delighted you enjoyed the juxtaposition of the fragrant Audrey Hepburn and Viking gene. But that is women for you. I will check out your verses now.
Re: a comment on Cecelia by Nicholas Monson	17-Aug-03/8:29 AM
Dear Bachus, Thank you for your comment and the trouble you have kindly taken to reflect upon "Cecelia". As you are aware, each line of a sonnet has 10 beats. Line seven, just like all preceeding and subsequent lines has ten beats. However, you may be right, if for instance, a grand Shakespearean actor of the old school pronounced "every" with three syllables rather than with the modern practise of pronouncing it with just two. I am flattered that you took the bother to write a comment. Thank you. By the way, this was a fiercely felt poem, very much from the heart. She said to me a year after we broke up (she dumped me) that "if you love me, you will prove it by writing me a sonnet". So I studied Will Shakespeare's better sonnets and decided she was the opposite of the summer's day, the sonnet for which he is most famous. Three months after writing her the sonnet, she yielded to my charms and we were engaged. Three days later she broke it off - telling me that she felt our life together was not going to work. I never saw her afterwards. She died of cancer nine months later. The poem "Maria" describes my resurrection. Best wishes, Nicholas
Re: a comment on HATTIE by Nicholas Monson	15-Jan-03/9:51 AM
Dear Caducus, Glad you liked Hattie. Have you checked out Cecelia and Maria? I have seen your verses before and I do remember liking them. I will get right into checking out more and giving comment (for what value it may have). Adieu
Re: a comment on Maria by Nicholas Monson	31-Dec-02/11:52 AM
Dear nentwtined, thank you for reading Maria. I have posted a detailed reply to another critic who agrees with you. (Another one doesn't at all). Please check it out and thanks for commenting. Nicholas
Re: a comment on Maria by Nicholas Monson	31-Dec-02/11:48 AM
NB. I understand that quiemada is vile but untterly potent. A bit like absinthe, I suppose.
Re: a comment on Maria by Nicholas Monson	31-Dec-02/11:46 AM
Thank you. And you are right Whom is the correct grammar. Princess should have been followed by an exclamation mark to set up better the next verse. Also I am glad you like the imagery. Amongst my best. If you like this poem, check out my sonnet, Cecelia. I would be interested to see your response.
Re: a comment on Maria by Nicholas Monson	31-Dec-02/11:41 AM
My reservation about the verse beginning "Then I first.." is with the word "espied". It is too close to "despised". Also there should have been an exclamation mark after princess. This better sets up the next verse. I am sorry that these verses don't work for you. The second is, I think, one of the best I have ever written.
Re: a comment on Maria by Nicholas Monson	31-Dec-02/11:33 AM
I am glad it achieved a stirring effect. When read aloud (slowly) it works even better. Its debut led the congregation at the wedding of my muse and I to roar though I hope this wasn't with relief that the poem had ended. See a comment below about whom from another contributor. It may not work well to your ear but it is correct grammar. Please experiment with a grammatical alternative and post it if you find one.
Re: a comment on HATTIE by Nicholas Monson	7-Dec-02/10:39 AM
It is being published in the Miscellany (along with Party Mugging) following a few changes. What do you make of this new draft (an extra line, a different lay-out and Thou to You) . > O, dearest lady,you curvaceous beast! > You whom Nature has adorned with spills of flesh, > Forgive me, I who once did mock your ocean thighs, > Your roller-coasting tum, your porpoise arms > And wind-swelled cheeks, your rubber dinghy breasts. > Forgive me, for I did not dream > I'd on you float or in you sink and drown. > >
Re: a comment on HATTIE by Nicholas Monson	7-Dec-02/10:36 AM
Dear Nicholas, You will get the article in the post, Christmas willing next week. In the meantime, I revised the poem and the Editor of The Miscellany has decide to publish it along with That Girl which is the proper name for Party Mugging (Again). This is the revised Hattie poem. Do you prefer it? HATTIE > O, dearest lady,you curvaceous beast! > You whom Nature has adorned with spills of flesh, > Forgive me, I who once did mock your ocean thighs, > Your roller-coasting tum, your porpoise arms > And wind-swelled cheeks, your rubber dinghy breasts. > Forgive me, for I did not dream > I'd on you float or in you sink and drown. > Editor's comment: You write naturally in longer-breathed lines - minimum tetrameter; up to an alexandrine. > Best wishes, Nicholas
Re: father Worked Nights by poetandknowit	5-Dec-02/8:36 AM
Heh, PK, you're top division. Great stuff. No quarrel with it. 9
Re: a comment on the girl what gave scott the look by UAFANTHORPEY	4-Dec-02/11:17 AM
Fascinating that people in the US subscribe to the notion of an English gangsta culture. Ali G, what have you done for Britain's image? If there is a UK gangsta culture, it is synthetic - macho posturing derived entirely from Kingston, Jamaica, and American rap artists (and their followers). Yes, and the notion is promoted by cynical and greedy record labels. It is also funny to reflect on the image of "the mean streets of London" as if the UK capital was a sprawling Bronx. Parts of Lewisham and Southwark might fit that category but I still think London is better known for our palaces and our changing of the guard than our chewing of the ganga or however you like to ingest it. PK might be disappointed in his hunt for the criminal metropolis around Belgravia, Holland Park and Kensington. If he wants an adrenalin buzz he would be better off exploring Johannesburg or Soweto. By comparison the UK and US "gangstas" are just big girls' blouses.
Re: a comment on HATTIE by Nicholas Monson	4-Dec-02/10:52 AM
Thank you, Hatters Hare. You flatter me. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Re: a comment on HATTIE by Nicholas Monson	4-Dec-02/6:12 AM
Send me your postal address address and I will send you a photocopy of an article I wrote (published in the Daily Telegraph) about my ten week stint with the great man.
Re: a comment on HATTIE by Nicholas Monson	4-Dec-02/6:09 AM
Thank you, you write well yourself.
Re: a comment on HATTIE by Nicholas Monson	4-Dec-02/6:07 AM
Dear Rebecca, I am deeply flattered by your kind remarks and your vote. I must confess that I have always known this poem as FAT LADY. But it seemed too crude when I uploaded it onto the site. Inspired by Hattie Jacques of our British Carry On films, I called it hattie instead. Miss Jacques was big. But I am sorry that it has coloured your perception of the name. I know a Hattie. But she is slender. As ever, Nicholas
Re: School (a sonnet) by Nicholas Jones	4-Dec-02/6:00 AM
Dear Nicholas, I received your reply but I am not wholly convinced by your answer. Still, that is only my opinion. Yes, I worked for JB for ten weeks. He kindly took me on after he had heard me (at his request) recite some of my compositions. The next ten weeks were bliss. I repaid his kindness with a scorching attack (in verse) on his critic Alvarez who maintained that Betjeman's poetry was a branch of fascism (among other slights). It was published in the S Telegraph and it gave me a sort of twisted starus as an enfant terrible amongst the intelligentsia. Anyway you write very well and all power to your elbow. NB There is some poor demented fellow who has been hurt by your criticisms as you probaly know. I am sure you are a big enough sort of fellow to send him a soothing note. He sounds young and in some pain. Best wishes, Nicholas
Re: the rose by keatsImnot	4-Dec-02/5:34 AM
This is great. Some spelling mistakes and bad punctuation perhaps but a great effort.
Re: School (a sonnet) by Nicholas Jones	4-Dec-02/5:32 AM
Well done, Nicholas Jones. It should be in the sonnet section but then again it might probably be never read. Also a minor point. But the concluding couplet - died and lies! Come on. You have so much skill. I bet you can improve upon this and come up with a couplet that rhymes properly.Voted 9