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HATTIE (Ode) by Nicholas Monson O, dearest lady,
You curvaceous beast!
Thou, whom Nature has adorned
With spills of flesh,
Forgive me,
I, who once did mock
Your ocean thighs,
Your porpoise arms
And wind-swelled cheeks
Your rubber dingy breasts!
Forgive me,
For I did not dream
I'd on you float
Or in you
Sink and drown.
Up the ladder:
After Halloween
Down the ladder:
The American Soldier
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.928571
Posted: December 3, 2002 4:05 AM PST; Last modified: December 3, 2002 4:05 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.67884 Overall Rank: 2001 Comments:
nice job.
Thank you, you write well yourself.
It makes a change from the usual crude sexual innuendo found on this site.
Dear Nicholas,
You will get the article in the post, Christmas willing next week. In the meantime, I revised the poem and the Editor of The Miscellany has decide to publish it along with That Girl which is the proper name for Party Mugging (Again). This is the revised Hattie poem. Do you prefer it? HATTIE > O, dearest lady,you curvaceous beast! > You whom Nature has adorned with spills of flesh, > Forgive me, I who once did mock your ocean thighs, > Your roller-coasting tum, your porpoise arms > And wind-swelled cheeks, your rubber dinghy breasts. > Forgive me, for I did not dream > I'd on you float or in you sink and drown. > Editor's comment: You write naturally in longer-breathed lines - minimum tetrameter; up to an alexandrine. > Best wishes, Nicholas
By the way, did you really work John Betjeman? He was a great poet, in his own way.
Send me your postal address address and I will send you a photocopy of an article I wrote (published in the Daily Telegraph) about my ten week stint with the great man.
You have a deft touch. Wonderful imagery.
Thank you, Hatters Hare. You flatter me. I am glad you enjoyed it.
It is being published in the Miscellany (along with Party Mugging) following a few changes. What do you make of this new draft (an extra line, a different lay-out and Thou to You)
. > O, dearest lady,you curvaceous beast! > You whom Nature has adorned with spills of flesh, > Forgive me, I who once did mock your ocean thighs, > Your roller-coasting tum, your porpoise arms > And wind-swelled cheeks, your rubber dinghy breasts. > Forgive me, for I did not dream > I'd on you float or in you sink and drown. > >
Excellent! Congratulations on its being published!
great metaphors. ironically, i feel the affection and cautious lack of attractions. well-crafted, sir.
what a tart. ha! that's funny.8. sink? could you?d
Nicely done your a superhero of the decriptive. Please oblige me with perusing my work sometime, 'Carry On Nicholas' I can hear the cacle of Sid James in 'Hinnom'. -9-
Dear Caducus,
Glad you liked Hattie. Have you checked out Cecelia and Maria? I have seen your verses before and I do remember liking them. I will get right into checking out more and giving comment (for what value it may have). Adieu 223 view(s)
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I am deeply flattered by your kind remarks and your vote. I must confess that I have always known this poem as FAT LADY. But it seemed too crude when I uploaded it onto the site. Inspired by Hattie Jacques of our British Carry On films, I called it hattie instead. Miss Jacques was big. But I am sorry that it has coloured your perception of the name. I know a Hattie. But she is slender. As ever, Nicholas