| Re: Life of some girl. by Plasticgirlwithgun |
28-Nov-02/3:36 PM |
Not bad, but somehow I wanted it to rhyme. The fourth line should be
"Black nails on my fist". but thats just me. I like the "Just choke" part.
And the title is good.
|
|
|
 |
| Re: Exhaustion by vulcan |
27-Nov-02/5:02 PM |
This does not comply with the dictates of logical poetics.
But seriously, theres something about the word "mistress" that I just don't like. But I was going along with it until the final line.
Maybe if it was made into a Haiku?
|
|
|
|
| Re: IM PISSEEDDDDDDDD by little_angel_maria |
27-Nov-02/4:56 PM |
How unseemly.
Theres some genuine emotion there, but I don't care for the imagery.
Welcome to Life.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Alone by ThoughtfulSoul |
27-Nov-02/4:50 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: Check Yourself by INTRANSIT |
26-Nov-02/9:19 PM |
I really liked this one.
kicked me in the gut.
because I'm feeling that way,
I'll go with an eight.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Cocky by Goose |
25-Nov-02/7:46 PM |
|
Not bad at all. I like it.
|
|
|
|
