| Re: Bilboards, and music, just shouldn't be mixed. by Bachus |
13-Dec-02/6:26 AM |
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Simon Cowell would die in his trousers over this
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| Re: Am I Still Here? by Ranger |
16-Dec-02/4:56 AM |
This is a seminal work from you, And i my friend have something secret I have learned from this -congrats. ( I think the last 3 lines deserve more impact) I will think of it, scrambled thoughts at the moment =9=
PS i might write something happy
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| Re: Myself by Sugarbbybuttrfly |
16-Dec-02/4:57 AM |
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| Re: Damien by Sugarbbybuttrfly |
16-Dec-02/5:01 AM |
Not adult enough for me in its depiction of infatuation, you need to show more dimension to your work as this stands it makes the character look pitiful, and desperate.
You write the way you want too though I'm a miserable shit. (not voted)
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| Re: Only you by Sugarbbybuttrfly |
16-Dec-02/5:03 AM |
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Now, this is more simplistic and engaging than the others, it flows nicely and is undemanding in a good way, take a 7 sugar
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
16-Dec-02/5:05 AM |
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| Re: fa11ing by Bill Z Bub |
16-Dec-02/5:06 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
16-Dec-02/5:21 AM |
Hell has been defined at last !
(theres worse by the way 'Hearsay' but god intervened and split them up)
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
16-Dec-02/5:23 AM |
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Tony Blair must use heroin (have u seen his body language)
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| Re: Mother by blkarak |
16-Dec-02/5:25 AM |
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| Re: The City (Sodom) by blkarak |
16-Dec-02/5:26 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
16-Dec-02/5:28 AM |
Very true about the dog show,
from what i heard, an endorsement from bachus is indeed admirable.
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| Re: Her Name was Lisa by Owner of the Sky |
16-Dec-02/5:31 AM |
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This is poignant, It reminded me of me, once upon a time ago, this kind of experience is hard to write about with the style, substance and unpretentious way in which you sold it -my fave read today a golden egg has hatched you a 10
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| Re: Are You? by NewbieMe |
16-Dec-02/6:07 AM |
Not entirely memorable or original, try and explain the concept of suicide in a less trivial manner. You have to be, or had to be genuinely suicidal to write about suicide and hit people in a way they will think on what you have said. Dont be disheartened through malice in peoples criticism, answer them through your work and silent tongues will deafen you from what you created. Just gather inspiration, never force an emotion let it force you to write.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
16-Dec-02/6:32 AM |
purrrrfectly done, are u getting a new one as there will be plenty abandoned after xmas?
fix last line stza 1 ok? (though should be thought) -8-
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| Re: LIFE by jonny2000 |
16-Dec-02/6:50 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
16-Dec-02/6:51 AM |
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the point hasnt pricked me
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
16-Dec-02/8:52 AM |
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Sticking to the poem, its dung
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| Re: Despair by dave78981 |
16-Dec-02/9:08 AM |
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WTC, you say more in 3 lines than i read in 20, good to see a piece of work drowned in dark truth, 1st line sets the scene 3rd/4th rips it to pieces, haikus are not easy too
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| Re: The City (New Jerusaem) by blkarak |
16-Dec-02/9:38 AM |
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Xmas always breeds feelings of isolation, and decadent loneliness, i found this uplifting on a 2nd read and the last stanza is more spiritual than secular, however thoughts are always divided by thought provokers like this, my votes a 9
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