on some deleted poem
16 Dec 2002, 6:51 AM
the point hasnt pricked me
on The City (Sodom) by blkarak
16 Dec 2002, 5:26 AM
Wow, this rox
on some deleted poem
16 Dec 2002, 5:05 AM
Haiku rebel !
on fa11ing by Bill Z Bub
16 Dec 2002, 5:06 AM
I like this a lot
on some deleted poem
16 Dec 2002, 8:52 AM
Sticking to the poem, its dung
Not entirely memorable or original, try and explain the concept of suicide in a less trivial manner. You have to be, or had to be genuinely suicidal to write about suicide and hit people in a way they will think on what you have said. Dont be disheartened through malice in peoples criticism, answer them through your work and silent tongues will deafen you from what you created. Just gather inspiration, never force an emotion let it force you to write.
on Am I Still Here? by Ranger
16 Dec 2002, 4:56 AM
This is a seminal work from you, And i my friend have something secret I have learned from this -congrats. ( I think the last 3 lines deserve more impact) I will think of it, scrambled thoughts at the moment =9=
PS i might write something happy
PS i might write something happy
on Damien by Sugarbbybuttrfly
16 Dec 2002, 5:01 AM
Not adult enough for me in its depiction of infatuation, you need to show more dimension to your work as this stands it makes the character look pitiful, and desperate.
You write the way you want too though I'm a miserable shit. (not voted)
You write the way you want too though I'm a miserable shit. (not voted)
on some deleted poem
16 Dec 2002, 5:23 AM
Tony Blair must use heroin (have u seen his body language)
on some deleted poem
16 Dec 2002, 5:28 AM
Very true about the dog show,
from what i heard, an endorsement from bachus is indeed admirable.
from what i heard, an endorsement from bachus is indeed admirable.
on Her Name was Lisa by Owner of the Sky
16 Dec 2002, 5:31 AM
This is poignant, It reminded me of me, once upon a time ago, this kind of experience is hard to write about with the style, substance and unpretentious way in which you sold it -my fave read today a golden egg has hatched you a 10
on The City (New Jerusaem) by blkarak
16 Dec 2002, 9:38 AM
Xmas always breeds feelings of isolation, and decadent loneliness, i found this uplifting on a 2nd read and the last stanza is more spiritual than secular, however thoughts are always divided by thought provokers like this, my votes a 9
on Bilboards, and music, just shouldn't be mixed. by Bachus
13 Dec 2002, 6:26 AM
Simon Cowell would die in his trousers over this
on Myself by Sugarbbybuttrfly
16 Dec 2002, 4:57 AM
Needs more i think
on Only you by Sugarbbybuttrfly
16 Dec 2002, 5:03 AM
Now, this is more simplistic and engaging than the others, it flows nicely and is undemanding in a good way, take a 7 sugar
on some deleted poem
16 Dec 2002, 6:32 AM
purrrrfectly done, are u getting a new one as there will be plenty abandoned after xmas?
fix last line stza 1 ok? (though should be thought) -8-
fix last line stza 1 ok? (though should be thought) -8-
on some deleted poem
16 Dec 2002, 5:21 AM
Hell has been defined at last !
(theres worse by the way 'Hearsay' but god intervened and split them up)
(theres worse by the way 'Hearsay' but god intervened and split them up)