regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jun-02/11:30 AM
thanks, the church reference at the end is to the way politics tries to hijack morality to teach their 'truth' The church does not refer to right but to an institution that traditionally stood outside law
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Aug-02/1:18 PM
sorry for boring you zzinnia66
Re: Performer by http://mulberryfairy	12-Jul-03/11:59 AM
coming back to the bus driver again doesnt relly work. other than that I liked the bit about interuption of bus ride hush. And the first verse packs a lot of context in
Re: education by richa	22-Jul-03/1:45 PM
Who gave me 4 for this? the same who gave five for my other.... and then ran away? the least you can do is comment
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jul-03/3:09 PM
a couple of notes 1) the spacing didn't transfer as it should have done. 2) to zzinnia sometimes I just like experimenting, your opinion is the most valuable of anyones to me.
Re: The War Jesse Owen style by oldschool	25-Sep-03/4:26 AM
Well put together and all that but this seems too political. There is no emotion, the best war poem line I have read is ' red lips are not so red/ as the stained stones kissed/ by the english dead- wilfred owen. Because it communicated something, is apolitical. This is a bit too dogmatic Well hung together though
Re: Club by Beseech	25-Sep-03/4:28 AM
pretty enough, well put together. Not sure there is much in the way of insight to grab the writer though
Re: Little Girl by Pervy Elf	25-Sep-03/4:31 AM
ok the go ahead little girl sets a very creepy tone. You seem to switch from concerned (kind of) to the abuser 'blame everyone except yourself' though and it tales off a bit at the end could be snappier.
Re: body image by http://mulberryfairy	25-Sep-03/4:33 AM
Kudos to you, you have the blue 1/10 before you even have the good marks this poem deserves.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Sep-03/4:38 AM
'road noise ripples as it hits the stars' Not sure about this line, what does it refer to? And also 'a wall of sound rises' this seems to key into the same visual as 'hitting the stars' and therefore diminishes its impact. other than that ace
Re: "I post here cause I have a lot of readers" by Bachus	25-Sep-03/4:40 AM
Demonstrating such a wide understanding of different cultures
Re: Your Inner Ear by razorgrin	25-Sep-03/12:54 PM
yes, if only all science lessons were given in haiku, or vilanelle or tanka or the like. We could all be happy in the knowledge that we would never have to go to english class again.
Re: Here I go again by tadpole	25-Sep-03/12:57 PM
Not too much that could be criticised by DA's mediocre poetry chart here. In that sense this is refreshing. Nothing to really grab but pleasant as a summers day.
Re: The Light by the_unknown_angel83	25-Sep-03/1:00 PM
like the transcription of an adolescent hissy fit.
Re: the way things are goin' by irishfolksuicide	2-Oct-03/7:34 AM
Ten witnesses; one, to stretch the ten seconds. It is reckoned ten leaps, to let a long drag
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Oct-03/7:40 AM
a kettle with a pole sticking out?
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Oct-03/7:43 AM
two verses are wasted telling us that you are unable to communicate what a tragic death is. The final verse is where the 'poem' starts, it could do with being sharper
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Oct-03/7:49 AM
Should be neapolitan (as in napoli) I think. Could do with making more snappy to increase the power of your words. phrases like everlasting wind are fairly meaningless, and the use of ebb and flow/ swayed and lapped/ stalking prey are staples of poetry and just obstruct the reader from getting to the more creative and refreshing parts. Overall quite good though.