Re: The Mellifluous Sound of God: Musical Eden by Don-Quixote	28-Aug-03/11:55 AM
Extraordinarily pretentious title, even by your dictionary-obsessed standards. Nevertheless, great use of "delivered via the ear to be absorbed by my brain" as a beautifully concise synonym for "hearing something". "exquisite melancholy of the supernatural" / 10
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Aug-03/6:11 AM
If your so-called "dictionary-obsessed" works were deliberately splattered with long words, why are you so desperate to tell me which words came from the dictionary and which words you knew when you were 10? I knew that MOST OF THEM came from the dictionary. I never thought "melancholy" did. But it doesn't matter really. They may not ALL have come from the dictionary, but they are ALL pretentious, or combined with other semi-pretentious words to form super-pretentious phrases. You cannot deny this now, since you have just claimed you deliberately wrote them to be pretentious. "big fucking show off title" and "pure fucking crap created to see how well i could predict your pathetic ranting" as you so deftly put it. You seem to be arguing on cross purposes, on the one hand claiming they were deliberately intended to be shit, on the other claiming that you were simply using words from your own vocabulary, and that any obscurity is due to my "skimming over things". You claim that "The Mellifluous Sound of God: Musical Eden" and "Lunation: Dark Mystery Exposed" were deliberately shit, but what about "Musings: Willow Sculpture"? That piece is equally pretentious and dictionary-obsessed and, in my opinion, "pure fucking crap". If you are going to claim "Lunation" and "Musical Eden" are shit, then it's difficult to see how you couldn't say the same thing about "Willow Sculpture". But nevermind. Here's what actually happened: a) You wrote some poemes that you thought were good b) I wrote my comments c) Realising your ineptitude and the shittyness of your beloved works, you claimed they were deliberately designed to be shit as part of an evil plan to thwart me. d) But they weren't DELIBERATELY shit. e) They were ACTUALLY shit. f) It's easy to be sarcastic in retrospect. g) QED Let's not forget that if your pieces were indeed a trap, I was not the only dullard who fell for it. Both richa and <~> made similar observations concerning the verbosity of the "Musical Eden" disaster. You even replied to richa asking for further elaboration on his comments regarding the use of "phantasmogoric". No doubt you were just playing along to avoid exposing the trap. Hmm. It's hardly surprising that everyone thought they were genuine pieces because there is nothing to indicate to the contrary. The pieces in question were just like your other pieces. Usually when someone is being sarcastic, it is obvious because the irony is glaring. That way, if anyone falls for it they truly have been a bit of quadro-spazz. Take my comment on your "Musical Eden" piece, for example: "...what you lack is the uncompromisingly austere upbringing that was my privilege. I am adept in my application of such words and phrases as mellifluous, xanthous, ruminate, maleficence, opprobrium, and 'that would be an ecumenical matter', because they are not strangers to my daily vocabulary. You, on the other hand, wield the dictionary in much the same way a disabled wields an AK47 - as a strange, heavy object thrust into your hands by people who should have known better." The humour in this comment is obvious, and the sarcasm equally glaring. Having just criticised you for being pretentious, I go on to brag about the "austere upbringing that was my privilege". This is clearly Pretentiousness of the First Class! Sadly, it didn't stop you from buggering on about how you don't care if the "code of the gentlemans upbringing" endowed me "with the knowledge of nice lil words". How dare you disparage The Gentleman's Code!? Back to the matter at hand: had you written to nentwined informing him that your pieces were deliberately shit, then, when I fell for your little trap, had you referred me to nentwined who, as a trusted and impartial third party, could confirm that any sarcasm was not inserted retrospectively, I might have taken your claims a little more seriously. Since you failed in this modest task, and given the overwhelming evidence to the contrary given above, you leave me no choice but to claim victory. Again. Now you're probably going to claim that your rant was just another sarcastic post intended to thwart me. But it wasn't. You would just be doing exactly the same thing again. Your desperately aloof references to playing me like some sort of hideous guitar - "i pluck some strings, you make some noise" - are laughable. You are the one posting long rants, not me. I wouldn't post a long rant in a million squillion years. Never.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Aug-03/9:11 AM
For your information Watson was a doctor not a detective. Once again you fail.
Re: Broken by Irischer Junge	1-Sep-03/4:58 PM
It certainly is an ace poeme. I really like the use of "dying" to rhyme with "crying"! But hey I have a question about Christ. If lots of people pray for something, is Jesu more likely to answer the prayer than if only one person prays? Thanks!
Re: Ashes to Ashes by Irischer Junge	1-Sep-03/6:36 PM
The Waiting Room (Free Verse) by -=Dark_Angel=- Hello evil muslim Come in and take a seat Enjoy a cup of coffee Relax; put up your feet I'll just bring up your file To see if thou art just; You don't believe in Jesus!? But the Bible says you must! You shan't be going to Heaven Instead you'll rot in Hell As a vile non-believer We'll break your wicked spell! You'll never taste the splendour Of a Pure and Perfect Place Instead you'll watch your entrails Landing splat upon your face You won't be very happy When we jump on your best friend Or make you drive that scooter Down a road that has no end We'll open up your diary And insert a scrambled egg Then we'll make you give a sermon With it trickling down your leg And just in from Head Office Our request has been approved! To have your nostrils fisted And your bollocks both removed I hope you'll learn your lesson As well as have a lovely stay Then maybe next time you will listen To what the Bible has to say.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Sep-03/6:35 AM
Good grief. I do hope you were married *before* any sexual intercourses took place. I shall abstain from voting until you give me a straight answer. Thanks. -no vote submitted-
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Sep-03/4:34 PM
isn't life a fascinating mystery? I could sit here pondering the complexities of your deeply profound yet delightfully whimsical poeme all day. But if I did that, then I would be a total fucking moron. 9/10.
Re: Where are my Spectacles? by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	4-Sep-03/5:04 PM
genius
Re: Dunce in a Sack by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	4-Sep-03/5:18 PM
A work of staggering intellect. 10.
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Sep-03/6:17 PM
god'swife is a fat tart who writes mediocre poetry.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Sep-03/10:54 AM
I want you to listen to me very carefully, sliver. What I say may save your spirit, if not your life. There is a reason for the voices you hear, and there is only one way I know of to be free of them. I want you to go to your bathroom and lock the door. Look at yourself in the mirror and say your name three times. Kneel, and say the Lord's Prayer. Then look back at the mirror and say "In the name of Christ, let me be free. In the name of Christ, I am free." You may feel a burning sensation in your elbows at this point. Lights may start flashing and taps may turn on and off. Ignore them and keep looking straight in the mirror. Say a prayer of your choosing, then depart. I'll pray for you. -10-
Re: My Id and I by William Delacroix	7-Sep-03/12:48 PM
You are exceedingly pretentious. Good day, Sir.
Re: A very special thank you to a very special someone by Livvie	7-Sep-03/2:31 PM
I hope to Christ that my death doesn't inspire something as ham-handedly inept as this massive lump of flatulence. Poetry is not just about writing down some emotions and randomly interspersing them with pointless line breaks. You must remember to pause every now and again to stare wistfully out of an open window. -9-
Re: :) by Moniquesuvee	7-Sep-03/2:36 PM
Congratulations. From the appalling title to the laughable use of "purring" to rhyme with "stirring", this has to be one of the worst poemes I have ever read.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Sep-03/2:40 PM
Ahhh the "proverbial porthole"... how beautiful.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Sep-03/6:40 PM
Author's Note: Probably one of the supidest poemes ever secreted by human glands. Love it or loathe it, one thing's for fucking certain: this is one poeme that's going places big time! I do hope you enjoy it. If you don't then you're probably a fucking spastic or something. Cheers!
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Sep-03/5:47 AM
God be praised! Jesu has posted on PoemeRanker! 10! 10! 10! 10!!!!!!!!!!111111111111
Re: Failure by Nicholas Jones	9-Sep-03/4:12 AM
Scraping the crust off with FACT-shaped spoon, these are the news headlines: MAN WITH REVERSE MIDAS COMPLEX TURNS OWN FACE INTO PILE OF GUTS RANCID OCTOCARP FOUND SINGING IN DRAWER EAT MY LEG OFF PLEADS MUTANT BEEF PROBE Those are the headlines.................. goodnight.
Re: Mourning Glory by William Delacroix	10-Sep-03/3:22 PM
This poeme is plagiarised. http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=1283
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Sep-03/7:33 AM
Just rubbish; don't write about writer's block for God's sake! To illustrate my point, I'd like to direct your attention to a comment I posted on 20 June 2003 that relates directly to the matter at hand. See: http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=56779 for more details. I find it rather telling that a comment posted months before the release of this poeme could so accurately describe the nature of its content. I'm referring, of course, to the descriptions of the room in which the talentless poete sits and the descriptions of things seen out the window. In fact, you'd be hard-pressed to find a more orthordox example of "writer's block poetry" unless you had some sort of enourmous dunce detecting instrument. Like a SPAZZ-O-TRON 2000. Thanks.