Re: a comment on I'm there by amanda_dcosta	4-Feb-06/7:29 PM
Should have listed it as a glosa poem then so people would know the first line wasn't yours. If you think you can turn around hundreds of years of negetive usage for the word creep then my hat is off to you.
Re: I'm there by amanda_dcosta	4-Feb-06/9:09 AM
Stanzas 2 and 4 are weaker and are more cliche than the other two. You should stay more with the nature theme in stanzas 2 and 4. Change "graces creep to fill" to "graces creek fills". "Creep" is just a creepy word and doesn't quite fit in with the poem. Some really great lines in this poem though.
Re: a comment on A Walk in the Park by Dovina	4-Feb-06/8:26 AM
I don't know.
Re: a comment on A Walk in the Park by Dovina	4-Feb-06/6:13 AM
Dovina, who's on third base?
Re: a comment on A Walk in the Park by Dovina	3-Feb-06/3:09 PM
No matter how you punctuate it it's still a bit of a stretch. Maybe the magic skull was a woman's. It certainly was insistant upon getting the last word in.
Re: a comment on A Walk in the Park by Dovina	3-Feb-06/2:10 PM
I've always got a little impishness in me but you say and I quote "my flowing skirt did catch jerked back as father’s hand had years ago when playing on a ledge". Either your father's as weak as a rose stem or the rose was as strong as your father. Of course I realized you meant it caught on a roses thorn. As far as the mystery of men goes: In a cartoon I was watching with my neice and nephew a girl asked a magic scull why guys were so hard to understand. The all knowing skull replied, "Because men are simple".
Re: a comment on Nomads by amanda_dcosta	3-Feb-06/12:39 PM
No, just the "tree of life". The pattern was of birds being in haikus in general. Sleep tight.
Re: a comment on Nomads by amanda_dcosta	3-Feb-06/12:37 PM
I don't know what the rest of the context of the poem you got that from was but heres what you should do: Take the key words like "kettle" and "sweeps" and look them up for alternate definitions. Here's what I got. "In the glacial lake of tenderness the rain glides by swiftly." The glacial lake being a cold heart that's been melted(by tenderness) and the swift rain being to quickly weather the storms that life brings. But I'm probably way off.
Re: a comment on Nomads by amanda_dcosta	3-Feb-06/12:11 PM
Did you read my haiku? I'm noticing a pattern in them.
Re: A Walk in the Park by Dovina	3-Feb-06/11:58 AM
That's a strong ass rose. Maybe go with rosebush instead. I can't believe I'm saying this but your ending is actually not mysterious enough. Good imagery though.
Re: a comment on Nomads by amanda_dcosta	3-Feb-06/11:49 AM
It's not that it has to be 5-7-5 it's just that you should learn the most restrictive form so that you refine your skills of efficient writing. Much like Daniel-son in the Karate Kid did when he painted the fence. Fundimentals is all I was going for from you.
Re: a comment on Nomads by amanda_dcosta	3-Feb-06/11:41 AM
I'm not a big fan of Kerouac's haikus. It doesn't matter, I think Ginsberg helped him right most of his best work anyway, that is when he wasn't blowing him.
Re: Whales in Gastineau Channel by zodiac	3-Feb-06/11:31 AM
Sounds like you're gettin' some in Alaska.
Re: Even the elephants by ecargo	2-Feb-06/3:33 PM
Such a good concept. It needs more details. Paint us a vivid scene and then reveal their doom at the end and it will probably pack a bigger punch.
Re: Nomads by amanda_dcosta	2-Feb-06/3:21 PM
I'd like to see you get the standard Haiku down right first before you mess too much with other forms. You're getting much closer.
Re: a comment on Nomads by amanda_dcosta	2-Feb-06/3:18 PM
This link doesn't work.
Re: a comment on Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	2-Feb-06/3:17 PM
Yep, "Soles". I didn't give it a good enough proofread before I posted. Thanks Amanda. I'll try to get a revised version up this weekend.
Re: a comment on The Book of Images by Dovina	2-Feb-06/2:59 PM
Just an experiment. Didn't work though.
Re: a comment on inadequate by skaskowski	2-Feb-06/2:45 PM
So your saying his poem "inadequate" is inadequate?
Re: a comment on Nomads by amanda_dcosta	2-Feb-06/2:42 PM
Don't you think you should learn to cook before you start writing your own recipes?