Re: a comment on Valentine 2 by zodiac	15-Feb-06/5:20 AM
I see what you mean. I've always thought there was a connection between kissing and canabalism. Maybe that could tie it all in for you. Maybe let the narrator give the last lines as questions as if he himself cannot imagine how they can eat their gods. I think it's just hard to see the history behind the story unless you know about the original story first and so it loses some of it's impact for those who don't know the history. With a little research I'm sure I'll be able to appreciate the poem alot more.
Re: a comment on Escape by raven_the_poet	14-Feb-06/4:02 PM
Yes, but I don't think he was near New York at the time.
Re: The Struggling Poet's Lament by Ranger	14-Feb-06/4:00 PM
It almost comes across as a love poem. Nice approach. Some great lines.
Re: Sonnet for Snow by ecargo	14-Feb-06/3:54 PM
Very natural in every sense.
Re: Valentine 2 by zodiac	14-Feb-06/3:49 PM
I think at your core you're a story teller. That's what you gift is. I think stories are harder than poems and story poems are the hardest to do of them all. Your poems are usually like scenes to a greater story. Both your Valentines leave us wanting more, the cop who never gets his answer, the captain that never is given a proper send off. This is the theme I get from it. Death is about what didn't happen but could have. By the way I love the differences between the two Valentines.
Re: a comment on Lost In Her Effervescence by ALChemy	14-Feb-06/3:15 PM
This is going to be a hard fix because the "S" words seem to give me that ocean sound and the "B" and "D" words give my bubble sounds and the scattered rhymes and half rhymes seem to fit in as well. So I still want to keep those things in mind when making adjustments. Besides it's a silly little love poem. It has little logic to me, only an abstract feeling I felt that I could think of no better way to describe. But you're right on most accounts, definitely on the "bones they know" part. I'll let you get back to the new recruits we've picked up here. You surely have your work cut out for you.
Re: a comment on Lost In Her Effervescence by ALChemy	14-Feb-06/2:50 PM
I missed the boat. Found out she was engaged. I figured it's Valentine's Day, might as well post a love poem.
Re: a comment on Escape by raven_the_poet	14-Feb-06/11:43 AM
Yes I recall reading something about Poe using the real murder as the basis for the story. I think I even read something about him thinking he might solve the case while writing the mystery.
Re: a comment on Escape by raven_the_poet	14-Feb-06/11:00 AM
No I didn't but he's had so many enemies in his time I wouldn't be surprised if one of them accused him of being Jack The Ripper. Please find me a link if you can I'm quite interested.
Re: a comment on In response to by INTRANSIT	14-Feb-06/10:56 AM
I think the Dark Angel "Gay" poem has Frazer as a possible alias also if I remember correctly.
Re: a comment on A Midnight Call by amanda_dcosta	14-Feb-06/10:49 AM
Are you Latin? You treat guys like Latin women treat guys. I pretty much agree with Z about losing the intro and exit lines. You're at your best when you're not trying to rhyme, when you just write about what you know and let it flow.
Re: a comment on Happy 40th Anniversary by Dovina	14-Feb-06/10:38 AM
I thought it was a great line. I just wanted to give you some kind of answer. What I found I think is quite amazing.
Re: Escape by raven_the_poet	14-Feb-06/10:33 AM
Sonnets should contain at least one identifiable characteristic of a formal sonnet. See E. A. Poe Rox's poem and read the comment I left for him. Goog luck Raven. I look forward to posts from both of you. Ps. And yes I think Poe rox too.
Re: a comment on In response to by INTRANSIT	14-Feb-06/10:21 AM
Yes, it appears we may have a wanker in our midst. Most likely the same guy who posted the two Gay poems.
Re: a comment on In response to by INTRANSIT	14-Feb-06/10:17 AM
Ha-ha! Been watching alot of Southpark lately?
Re: a comment on A Midnight Call by amanda_dcosta	14-Feb-06/10:12 AM
Is that why you're so near to crazy people? See I can be a smart alec too. Why are you pickin' on me? I was just tryin, to help you out a little. Was it 'cause I used "God" and "Fuck" in the same sentence?
Re: What is Love? by edgar-allen-poe-rox	14-Feb-06/10:07 AM
My suggestion would be to focus on non-rhyming poems that have alot of stuff like metaphor, simile, and imagery. Read alot of poetry and books on the art of writing so that you know what the tools are and how to use them plus you'll learn what not to write like cliches for instance. Most of the people here are happy to help you so long as you're willing to except that criticism is a must for learning any type of art form. So bite your lip, learn from your mistakes and consider the advice that others give you and soon you'll surprise yourself by how good you've become. Ps. Don't call anyone names who hasn't done it to you first or soon you'll find that no one will want to read your poems. Good luck young buck.
Re: a comment on Happy 40th Anniversary by Dovina	14-Feb-06/3:59 AM
The sound of a rainbow is soft, happy music. The sound of infinity is the wind. The sound of a shadow is a horn. The sound of silence is total quiet or extreme loudness. The sound of winter snow is a soft wind blowing. The taste of happiness is no sins inside of you. The taste of a promise is a piece of cooked steak that holds the inside parts together. The taste of candlelight is jalapeno peppers. The taste of twilight is toothpaste. The texture of sadness is smooth tears coming out of your eyes. The texture of memories can be rough or smooth. The texture of fear is bumpy. The structure of comfort is built with pillows. The structure of loneliness is an empty shell. The vision of warmth is sunlight. The fabric of wishes is soft and cuddly. The flavor of laughter is sweet and bold. The musical chord of a mistake is "Bummm, bum, bum, bum.". The colors of caring are blue, yellow, orange, red, pink and purple. The weight of commitment can be either light or heavy. The apparel of fog is a sweatshirt. The cost of an emotion can be happiness. From http://www.gesu.com/Classrooms/ZOOM/abc_class.htm We still don't know what wishes are made from but it's soft and cuddly.
Re: Happy 40th Anniversary by Dovina	14-Feb-06/3:55 AM
Second graders continue to use their creative and critical thinking skills during their time in ZOOM Class on Monday/Tuesday. One of the unique thinking strategies that is introduced is called SCAMPER, (Substitute, Combine, Add, Multiply, Minify, Magnify, Put to other uses, Eliminate, and Rearrange). This concept helps people of any age to think up new ways to present an idea or to solve a problem. Word choice, organization, sentence fluency, voice, and presentation styles are key components in all of the children's language arts projects. Creative stories are written in the unique pattern used by author Laura Numeroff! The children share their special places for fun, friends, relaxation, and reflection in pictures and three-liner poetry. The children also learn more about economics through the Junior Achievement program, "Our Community".
Re: a comment on A Midnight Call by amanda_dcosta	13-Feb-06/10:40 PM
Try my luck? Is that a dare or an invitation? Nobody's ever been committed for saying they're the God of Fucking. Besides I have my believers. What if Jesus came back would you unknowingly have him committed too?