Well thank you for explaining yourself a little better. Now i can understand your critizism.

and thanks for the encouragement. ;)

lol, but yeah i can see what you are saying with my other poem.

I personally like the focus on one word, but, i can see it might be a good idea to take focus off a particular word.

i have to agree.

it is quite good till the end.

1) i was testing out the features because im new here, i made this username about 6 months ago but never really used it, so i was seeing how it worked.

2)What do u mean by that?

3)I take that as a insult, i dont write poetry as a means to amuse others but as a means to vent my thoughts. Seeing as i was curious as of what others thought of it i posted it here; so don't criticize me by saying i am silly and others do it better.

Not particularly.

It is very hard to explain...

Growing up i have always wondered if there was a pre-set fate for all of us to follow, and whether humans as a whole are good or evil, this is a representation of my thoughts gathered in a poem. That may sound confusing, but to me it makes sense in my mind.

???

This is the only username i have ever used.

what improvements do u have in mind?

What words do u suggest?

gd observation, i wrote this quickly and didnt realise, id change it but it has to be completely reset... :(