regarding some deleted poem...	20-Jun-04/8:05 PM
A fine rendering of age, of hanging on, with the mind on the wane, body failing. We can all expect it, but I'd rather remember more than argueing crows and poison oak. Sad, but often true. Good
Re: Time Imperfect by MacFrantic	20-Jun-04/8:09 PM
Haunting and good.
Re: Frozen Soul by TLRufener	20-Jun-04/8:16 PM
I don't like about suicide, but if it helps you to cope, then okay. Some redundancies could be omitted like, "The world rushed by me / At an intense pace," as one example. "You quickly broke my neck" was a surprise.
Re: Cool In The Army by wilco	20-Jun-04/8:29 PM
Funny, funny
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Jun-04/4:55 AM
Charming and thoughtful in the beginning - funny in a thoughtful way. Toward the end it tastes a little sour, which of course it is, but maybe alittle more subtle would be more impressive. Like it!
Re: an ode to love by francis nor capule	21-Jun-04/5:01 AM
One of the best definitions of love I've seen. I really like, "for if logic or reason won over love, would it be the same?" Bravo! "you thought him" -> you taught him
Re: Where Else to Start But the End by cleverdevice	21-Jun-04/5:08 AM
Sadly true, some good insight. I'd call it free verse and look for ways to shorten it and cull the cliche, "Hell would freeze over."
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Jun-04/8:15 AM
Very funny, Dan, but not today.
Re: Windfall by wilco	21-Jun-04/8:57 AM
The poem says something about romanse and sex and regret that strikes home. I'd never get that from the above comments, but like it anyway.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jun-04/8:02 AM
I call it a good expression of a somber thought with enough meter to be sung - hence a lyric.
Re: Drunk and Fucked Up by wilco	22-Jun-04/8:08 AM
This sounds and feels singable and sad. I can hear it late in a smoky Tennessee bar, a guitar man strumming, and me thinking of all the bad times. Hit me with another chorus Wil.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jun-04/10:28 AM
A good haunting feeling with a few good lines, like "It’s the kind of thing that hides inside Because it’s scared that . . ." But a bit awkward and wordy in places. I'd made "Identically" identical, and scratch "In hopes of finding solutions" and cut out a few other words.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jun-04/12:24 PM
I am with you and into the mood and the setting through s2, very nice. S3 is about mothers - the baby's, yours. It's a good connection, but a bit cumbersomely worded. S4 is haunting and lets a reader draw from her own past. Good.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jun-04/10:00 PM
If you leave out the first verse - a cattish fantasy. With the first verse, I'm tossed from pervert to cannibal to tiger.
Re: Best Boy by MacFrantic	22-Jun-04/10:04 PM
First verse is great. Might consider ending with it. I can definitely relate to this.