Re: Close To The Beginning by RawPunkGirl	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/9:17 PM
Fro the 1st stanza of Billy Collins' "Nightclub": You are so beautiful and I am a fool to be in love with you is a theme that keeps coming up in songs and poems. There seems to be no room for variation. I have never heard anyone sing I am so beautiful and you are a fool to be in love with me, even though this notion has surely crossed the minds of women and men alike. You are so beautiful, too bad you are a fool is another one you don't hear. Or, you are a fool to consider me beautiful. That one you will never hear, guaranteed.
Re: Abba by oneglove	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/9:12 PM
Nice stuff.
Re: Abba by oneglove	Blindpoetry 70.172.225.193	13-Nov-05/3:08 PM
Line 6: 'Withstand the beat of time' seemed out of place to me... Could you explain how this ends the first stanza?
Re: Close To The Beginning by RawPunkGirl	Blindpoetry 70.172.225.193	13-Nov-05/3:04 PM
I find it very odd that I see you on multiple websites. And i'm not even a stalker. On another note: Line 3: I think that 'Being dressed in my best...' should be changed. Keep the idea, but change the wording so it doesn't rhyme. Because it sounds horrible. overall, though, I thought it was ok.
Re: a comment on Headlines by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/7:38 AM
Yep. You should definately look into this as a profession.
Re: a comment on The Hawk by Dovina	zodiac 217.144.7.195	13-Nov-05/7:19 AM
Go easy. She hates me; I need something we can agree on.
Re: a comment on Headlines by Dovina	zodiac 217.144.7.195	13-Nov-05/7:17 AM
She might be saying people will pay to cure themselves when they're sick, but not to eliminate disease altogether when it doesn't affect them. Like eliminating the "minor 5" diseases in Africa (malaria, typhoid, and I forget the rest), which kill more Africans than AIDS but would require a smaller investment to totally eliminate than what we currently spend fighting AIDS in Africa.
Re: a comment on The Hawk by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/7:08 AM
Thanks pal. You know you could make alot of money replying for famous peoples fan mail. Although I imagine you'd leave many a fan scratching their head. 7 years of college and finally somewhere to use it.
Re: a comment on Headlines by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/6:59 AM
Huh? I think what you mean is that we're not being offered cures just narcotics and FYI the whole reason that's so is for the sake of profit.
Re: a comment on Headlines by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/6:49 AM
What's the difference the Krauts were still there.
Re: a comment on Sonata for Robin and Poet by Dovina	Dovina 209.247.222.94	13-Nov-05/6:45 AM
I will agree to the rightness of one whom I generally accuse of placing rhythm above rightness.
Re: a comment on Headlines by Dovina	Dovina 209.247.222.94	13-Nov-05/6:43 AM
That's the trouble with the medical industry. We will pay for remedies, but scant little for eliminatioin of disease. It goes against the profit of the industry.
Re: a comment on The Hawk by Dovina	zodiac 217.144.7.195	13-Nov-05/6:42 AM
It would be okay except for the last stanza switching back to present again. I think it would be even better all in present, "The howl of tires sinks" and so on. I feel justified in answering here because that was my crit too and I want to show I can be nice.
Re: a comment on Headlines by Dovina	Dovina 209.247.222.94	13-Nov-05/6:41 AM
That's WWI.
Re: a comment on The Hawk by Dovina	Dovina 209.247.222.94	13-Nov-05/6:38 AM
Maybe so. I hoped the first three verses would stand as contrasts of old-time verses new-time. When I switch modes at “Then howl of tires sank” I think the off-putting time confusion enters.
Re: a comment on The Hawk by Dovina	Dovina 209.247.222.94	13-Nov-05/6:37 AM
I’ve been trying to stop howling for years, but it keeps welling up uncontrollably. I see how "like pebbles, city deep" improves rhythm, and in this case I may follow you there, though it goes against gut desire for meaning. And my But in the ass end of this, yes that too should go, I think.
Re: a comment on The Hawk by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/5:31 AM
Only when it includes subtle anal sex references.
Re: a comment on The Hawk by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/5:16 AM
That would be a first.
Re: a comment on The Hawk by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Nov-05/5:08 AM
That is the most profound thing you've said ever.
Re: a comment on my you have a bubbly laugh by skaskowski	skaskowski 70.225.166.245	13-Nov-05/2:32 AM
so much for context, eh?