Re: a comment on Boundaries by Dhanesh M Kumar	Dovina 69.175.32.104	14-Mar-06/9:27 AM
Please place your explanations within the poem.
Re: a comment on Settling in by INTRANSIT	Dovina 69.175.32.104	14-Mar-06/9:26 AM
I've reconsidered. I think that hardwood floor has a perfect right to look "adoringly" up my skirt after those dents I left in it with my spike heels.
Re: a comment on Settling in by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.10	14-Mar-06/6:54 AM
Thanks guys! Right now the critiqing is better here than over at scrawl. Too bad really. I was all set to "get serious". Ha! Nothing over there that I cant get here. And Have FUN doing it too!
Re: a comment on Climbing the Wall by ecargo	ecargo 63.22.89.206	14-Mar-06/5:52 AM
Excellent, R! Both of 'em seem good "read aloud" poems. Bookends rhyming (and a Horseshoe's cultural cornucopia). Good for you for getting up there, 7 people or 70. I hate the idea of doing readings, always think I'll be shaky voiced on the rare rare occasions I can bring myself to do 'em, but then it's never as bad as I think.
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	ecargo 63.22.89.206	14-Mar-06/5:36 AM
All very well and good and obvious and only tangentially related to what was actually said. Ace! You win again.
Re: a comment on Settling in by INTRANSIT	ecargo 63.22.89.206	14-Mar-06/5:33 AM
Hee--you know this one. Oliver! "Consider yourself . . . at home/consider yourself part of (par to?) the furniture . . . ". Cool poeme, bwonging and all. I agree with Dovina re: adoring floor--it jarred me out of this for whatever reason. Good sounds in this--"whirrs and tinks a sconce."
Re: Settling in by INTRANSIT	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	14-Mar-06/5:30 AM
You should change the title to show that this is a house that someone's returning to. Some great imagery, especially the house pulling the siding tight.
Re: Settling in by INTRANSIT	Dental Panic 84.27.6.94	14-Mar-06/3:30 AM
Nice. I have no problem with the way you animate - humanize - the house. You could loose some 'and', I think. Same goes for the 'as'. To me they're like nails sticking out a bit.
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	14-Mar-06/1:32 AM
What kind of critique is "The poem has a certain music to it" supposed to be? That's a bigger waste of time then saying 183 is eternal. Do we have anything better to do? Sure, but are you finding a cure for cancer right at this moment? No? So I guess we're both wasting our time. Besides If I REALLY wanted to waste time I'd be reading commenting on one of your poems.
Re: The Devil's Carnival by Ranger	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.11	13-Mar-06/11:22 PM
Generally speaking I found it well written, but Crashing down, worried me, it seems just not quite right.
Re: Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.11	13-Mar-06/11:18 PM
The poem has a certain music to it, but the discussion---don't any of you people have anything else to do?
Re: Settling in by INTRANSIT	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.11	13-Mar-06/11:07 PM
hums and whirrs and tinks a sconce The two 'ands' stand out a bit unpleasantly, I would also agree that that the anthropomorphism of the inanimate is a a bit distracting, especially 'adoringly'. It just doesn't seem very floorish, anyway if floors adore anything its plush carpet not the people who walk on it. Perhaps what you really have hear is a temporal throughback from the future, and echoe of the house where every part has its own personality, such as the doors somewhere in The Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy
Re: Desolation by Beyond_Dreams	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.11	13-Mar-06/10:58 PM
I think it would be much stronger if you left out the line Because I've matured, the rest is quite nice.
Re: Spoken word (draft) by Adriaan	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.6	13-Mar-06/7:34 PM
Keep going. until you run out of logic or it turns benign or rediculous. like my spelling. gah. really. finish this.
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	zodiac 204.238.24.4	13-Mar-06/7:25 PM
You are full of beans. Even Russell would be ashamed.
Re: a comment on Settling in by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.10	13-Mar-06/6:46 PM
I'm assuming the translation of this is: You are an inanimate object that cannot write poetry. Though, it could be a compliment suggesting I am a fixture of poemranker. OR It could be a suggestion on how to improve the poem. I don't suppose you might care to clue me in, would you?
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	13-Mar-06/6:39 PM
Too bad you grew up.
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	13-Mar-06/6:33 PM
That reminds me. I used to attribute personalities to the numbers 1 through 10 when I was a little kid(kinda like with The Letter People). For example 5 was the hero, 6 was the bad guy and 2 was the girl they'd often fight over. I kinda wish you'd have gone that way more now that I think of it.
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	13-Mar-06/6:24 PM
183 does have feminity and gall. Mostly because it looks like it has tits and a pair of balls.;)
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	13-Mar-06/6:20 PM
You could say I'm unique because I'm the 183rd soul in heaven and not 182 or 184 but then God walks in and decides today to start counting from the other end of the line. Now you're 665 and you're standing behind the devil.