| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:14 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:15 AM |
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You could have made the cat your "ruling planet" to spice it up a bit. Try again.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:18 AM |
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Over technical. Becomes bean shaped. I'm sure there's more to work with here. Lose the ass. it's just childish. I like that you chose a tick.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:20 AM |
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Gang members don't do this all the time. Did you fix the second line? Seems not. How do you know they don't like the lashings?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:21 AM |
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Again, invert the first and the third. Or start over entirely.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:23 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:25 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:27 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:28 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:30 AM |
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If this is true, Explain all the college grads in our government. Meh.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:31 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:36 AM |
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Too blatant. Are you writing poetry or ranting. For the artistic rant, See: Pound or Ginsberg.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:44 AM |
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I don't know what to think of the mouse hole.
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| Re: The Buiness Card by abecedarian |
INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204 |
25-Aug-07/6:53 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 70.133.45.227 |
26-Aug-07/8:13 PM |
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I like it all but the last line. It seems too obvious.
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| Re: Life by Joi |
Dovina 70.133.45.227 |
26-Aug-07/8:21 PM |
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It starts as description and ends as sermon. I think it would be more compelling to describe the feeling for those in need rather than telling us to do it, what it's like to soar through life rather than saying we should soar.
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| Re: The Dark Poet by Dovina |
drnick 24.247.158.152 |
26-Aug-07/8:55 PM |
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It is those who are in darkness that see light most clearly.
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| Re: Paid In Full by NoSage |
Joi 207.119.185.153 |
26-Aug-07/11:05 PM |
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It is true that they will find their way in time. I liked the thought put into this one. I didn't care for their father made the grade. I sounds to cocky. But all in all very interesting thought process.
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| Re: Stand by me by Cougarchic |
Joi 207.119.185.153 |
26-Aug-07/11:06 PM |
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I liked the ending verse. To plain need more of a messeage.
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| Re: Void and Vitality by MacFrantic |
Joi 207.119.185.153 |
26-Aug-07/11:08 PM |
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I liked the deepness of this.
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